The voice of resistance

[his-little-fox]

Vixen, I am fairly new to D/s as well. I have struggled with resistance issues as well. I was feeling like I was losing myself. I am feeling more and more like I am finding myself in my submission. I do not believe you have to give up all the things you love doing and are part of who you are to be submissive. I believe those things could be incorporated into your D/s, but every D/s is personal. This is truly something between your Sir and you. I know many of the other subs on the chat are working and have kids. They are making it work. I am sure the other wonderful subs will give you guidance on how they make it all come together.
Our kids are all 20 and over so I do not have the issues with kids at home. I am certain that you will find balance.

[Unknown Member]

Vixen,
I find that my submission to Sir actually helps me be strong in all areas of my life including personal interests (like scrapbooking) , craft projects, work, charity work and putting together travel plans and outings and attending church. I submit to Sir and he builds me up not only as a submissive, but as a whole person. I am not half a person. I am multi-faceted like a cut diamond and my Sir sees all my different beams of light that reflect off of all the different facets. He encourages and supports me to grow in the positive things in life and things that make me special. He feeds me and in turn I feed him. Feeding the circle of our relationship. If I were to be engaged in something that was harmful, destructive or against good character , I could see where my Sir may put and end or restriction on it. I feel that your beautiful contributions to organizing a hockey tournament, coordinating a project at work and teaching your kids is what makes you special and shine like a diamond. Although be humble of your achievement and no gloating! Your Sir should see your beauty in your use of your God given talents and he will appreciate them although he may not always say it verbally. Hope this helps.

[Vixen]

Thank you Morning Glory, this is the sort of thing I needed to hear – that it can be done! Sir is very supportive, and so I’ll work on focussing on that support, and embracing my endeavours with him behind me.

[klb]

Vixen, i agree with morning glory. Morning glory, that was beautifully put! I absolutely do believe it is possible to give up control to your Sir and still maintain control in other areas of life. In fact because i give my Sir control, i feel i have a better grasp on things outside our D/s world. Because he relieves me of the burden of control and decision making in our relationship, i am more able to make decisions in other areas. I dont feel overwhelmed anymore, and i know my Dom has my back at all times. It has strengthened me knowing i have the love, support and commitment of a man i love so dearly. Being submissive does not mean having to give up who you are, but rather means embracing a part of yourself that may have been hidden. It creates a bond between two people so deeply, that nothing could break them. Each person in the dynamic builds the other up, sees the absolute best in the other and is always the beakon of light for the other to follow. Giving Him the control over you does not make you a doormat, robot or mean you loose yourself. It means He has agreed to make sure you always find yourself, be true to yourself and show the world your true beauty.

[Vixen]

Thank you KLB – for this and for the chat tonight. Your suggestions are really so much help. I’m going to work on seeing the power in submission! It’s so powerful to have such a supportive group of role models.

[june]

Hi Vixen-
KLB and Morning Glory said exactly what I was thinking and said it so well! Just wanted to add that in feeling cherished, protected, and accountable to my Sir, it has been very liberating from outside stress. I have learned that what others think doesn’t matter nearly as much as it once did. When I do feel overwhelmed or anxious about a project that is outside the home (or even just mental clutter), He has the tools to calm and center me through our D/s. Additionally, because of our increased bond with one another, I have discovered a new level of self-confidence when I take on new projects. It’s definitely been an area of personal growth for me! I guess what I’m trying to say is that for me, our D/s has brought out the best version of myself in all aspects of my life. Not just the bedroom or the house, but creatively as well.
Enjoy the journey!
june

[Unknown Member]

Oh my gosh, clarity at last. One aspect of my fears subsided in reading through the comments to this post. We started 6 months ago at his request but in hindsight there were some things I was not upfront about. I am in the process of cleaning up the mess I have made and his patience and understanding has been amazing. He truly wants this dynamic and is willing to help alleviate my fears and concerns one at the time and move slowly till I am completely comfortable. We are restarting at a much slower pace to allow my head to clear as we go.

[hotsmileyblondgirl]

I am struging. We have been dating for 6th months he’s 47/38. We are having serious conversations about our future, which are positive. However, the more I fall for him the more insecure I am growing. With Instagram and other media, I see all of the girls images he likes. I’m starting to feel my submission to him gives him an opportunity to take from me something I desire so deeply to share with the right person and then walk away. Mentally I don’t believe this is happening, emotionally I’m struggling to define this fear so I can discuss with him. It starts off with something petty I point out. In fairness he listens and always tries to shed light on why I’m feeling this way and find a resolution. Each time he changes a petty thing, then I find another one. I think it’s me, my own insecurities. I have now started to masterbate because I’m angry at him for likening those pictures, I want to be satisfied the way in my head I think those pictures satisfy him. How do I stop? I can see a wonderful life with this man wonderful for both of us.