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Sub-space | Sub fever | Sub drop
I have been going through some old information that I researched back in 2009 and saved on my external hard drive. Since we have a lot of new subs out here I figured this may help you all understand the different emotions that you get….I know it did me. I would love to give credit to whoever wrote it but I don’t know who that person was or where I got it. But they helped me understand a lot before I got into D/s-M. Enjoy!
I would like to discuss “Sub fever”, “”Subspace”, and “Sub drop” and aftercare. These issues come to light at varying points in our journey. Sometimes we have to look within to resolve and sometimes we have to look without.
Sub fever“Are we there yet?” Everyone remembers the long car trips as children when you piled into the back seat with your siblings and your parents drove onward into the sunset. 5 miles into the 500 mile long trip you would begin the chorus of “Are we there yet?” Do you remember that? That desire, that frenzy to get to Disney land or Wally World now, not an hour from now, not a day from now, but NOW. Capture that frenzy and direct it towards your submission and voila you have sub fever.
Most people think that this only occurs in the beginning of your journey as you seek that first Dominant or Master much like a teenage girl seeks her first “love”. In this instance there is the “I have to have a Dominant NOW!” thinking, it’s a delirium of seeking your first taste of what you have secretly longed for since that first clumsy high school kiss.
If you are fortunate you meet someone that brings you down to earth and understands this fever. He may remember when he thought every submissive wanted to be naked at his feet begging to orally please him. If you are fortunate you will have this man (or woman) to guide you out of your fever. It may not be the first one you serve, it could be a mentor or friend but it will be someone who will help you see the realities of this life we live.
If you are unfortunate it will be after several relationships have crashed burned and you have met many of the Dominant archetypes. Maybe you have met “Headmaster” I will be your Master tonight as long as you give me head. “Insta-Master” just respond to his IM, email or simple greeting and he will expect you to fall to your knees as his owned slave.
Either way this frenzy dissipates in time and you settle into an easy pattern of yearning that is until you meet “Master Right”. Whether he is the right one for you or not is irrelevant because now you want it all with him and you want it NOW NOW NOW.
You want to feel his flogger on your skin, wear his collar at your throat, and you want to serve him until you both die (or until he becomes human).
Now if you are fortunate and have found Master Right and your relationship progresses into a comfortable, stable D/s relationship then you may encounter the next bit of frenzy I am going to describe.
The “I want more” syndrome this fever often hits in more stable, long term relationships. The D/s has ebbed and flowed and now it’s ebbed again and you find yourself longing for the days when the reigns seemed tighter, and he seemed quite simply more dominant. Believe me I know this fever. Sir has reminded me time and again that like all things D/s has its highs and lows.
This one may also require outside influence from none other than “Master Right” with luck (although you won’t see it that way then) he’ll bop you on the head and say pretty much the following, “Look little one life is in the way right now. Maybe when we have gotten through this phase in the rest of our life we will up the ante but until then GET OVER IT!”
“Sub fever” can occur amongst the newest of newbies and the most experienced of submissives.
Sub space“Sub space” can be like a drug and once you have a taste it can become an addiction. When you are fortunate you can experience it with someone who can help you fly as well as help you land.
How can one explain something so weird and wonderful? And how can one explain what it feels like to leave that space without someone there to catch their fall (if needed, yes I know some do not need or want aftercare) if the person they are explaining it to doesn’t understand that space to begin with?
For the moment I am going to use a wikipedia definition. I have to say it is the single best definition I have ever scene.
Subspace (also sub space), in the context of a BDSM scene, is the psychological state of the submissive partner. The term is unrelated to the mathematical term subspace.
Psychological Processes
Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer submissives that are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the Dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the submissive isn’t placing his or herself in danger. Many submissives require aftercare.
Physiological Processes
During the scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a sympathetic nervous system response, which causes a release of epinephrine from the suprarenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins and enkephalins. These natural chemicals, part of the fight or flight response produce the same effect as a morphine-like drug, increasing the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense. Producing a sort of trance-like state due to the increase of hormones and chemicals, the submissive starts to feel out-of-body, detached from reality, and as the high comes down, and the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, a deep exhaustion, as well as incoherence. Many submissives once reaching a height of subspace will lose all sensation of pain, as any stimulus causes the period to prolong. [I]
At this point it stands to reason that if there are psychological and physiological changes within the submissive during `subspace’ in context of the scene. When the scene ends it is unreasonable to expect someone to simply return to normal. Would you expect someone who has been drinking to simply become sober because they had their last drink ten minutes ago? Would you then expect that person to get into a car and drive away into the night? Would that be responsible?
No.
Sub dropThis is the reasoning for aftercare and in part the cause of “sub drop”. In my research I found several well thought out paragraphs on this on Wikipedia and would like to share that and then my feelings on the progression of “sub drop” because I do believe it has a natural progression like most emotional/physical states.
“Submissives can crave attention, and often the sub psyche feels that they have lost the massive attention which they had before (during the scene) from their dominant, and this can cause the unease, and charged emotions that may occur in a sub drop situation. Added to this of course, are the hugely elevated amounts of naturally produced hormones (endorphins, adrenaline etc) that are still flowing around the sub’s body. These may take some time to return to normal levels, and there may well be a withdrawal effect, too. The exact psychological impact various from person to person and the interplay between mechanisms is not well understood. All of the information on this subject is anecdotal.”[ii]Aftercare can prevent “sub drop” but not always. Why not? Well lets continue the drinking analogy…have you seen the recent ads about “buzzed driving”? A person who is “buzzed” may say I am ok to drive. I’ll be fine. In truth they are not. They get behind the wheel and can cause a terrible accident.
This can be true in subspace too. You may feel that you did not go that far in (or the dominant may) but in truth the scene triggered something, anything…a childhood memory, a past relationship issue, your deepest fears or darkest desires and an hour later, a day later you feel it.
An example I will use to personalize this mental state is as follows. After a particularly intense weekend with Sir I felt the drop. I was fine when I left his house but suddenly the next day at work, I was out of sorts, I couldn’t function, and I needed HIM. It was plain and simple he could not text back, call back or anything fast enough to please me and the growling NEED I had to hear his voice or feel his touch. I tried to explain it to him in a jumble of words and he understood (what can I say he’s a smart man) and said “Ahhh I see.” with a knowing tone. That night he put me at his feet even though we both had other things to do. I sat there near him, he all but ignored me watching a movie but I had him nearby and I felt my equilibrium return to normal.
In a time where that was not possible he talked me through it over the phone. He put on that “dominant” tone and I felt the submissiveness come back and calm me like a familiar friend.
I feel there are stages of “sub drop” in my opinion they are frenetic, depression, and self flagellation.
There is the frenetic. This I liken to dieting. Don’t laugh. Think about it and you will realize it is apropos. You are on your diet and suddenly you start thinking of chocolate, sweet tasty and wonderful chocolate and it is all you can think of. How chocolate tastes on your tongue and melts in your mouth and the sticky sweetness left on your fingertips if it melted a bit from your body heat. Now imagine a few days of being at your owner’s feet and then suddenly you are at work.
Now it’s all you can think of is HIM. You want him by your side NOW. That’s the frenetic stage. For some it can be staved off here by a phone call and hearing his voice.
The next level is the depression. It is the endorphins dropping and your body settling maybe some ache and pains form that scene kick in. You are out of sorts and a bit confused as to why. I relate this to a returning to work after a long vacation. You were out there having fun in the sun and all of the sudden you are back in your dark dreary office. Not pool boy named Sven serving you Mai-Tais with pink umbrellas its back to the office drudgery and the mail boy named Norm. You feel out of sorts, Blah, and just generally in need of something. you just don’t know what. What you need is him to make you feel balanced. You need his attention.
Last stage is self flagellation; hallmark statement “If I was a good girl I would just be grateful for the fun I had. I am being selfish and clingy and….” You can fill in the rest.
This tends to happen amongst those whose D-types do not show the proper sympathy for this experience. Or if the s-type wants to put on a brave face because we are here to serve to please is so ingrained she feels she is being a burden to her Master by needing his help. Whether it is lack of understanding on the D-types part or a lack of communication on the S-types part I do not know. I do know that if you do reach this point once you are better settled you need to ask yourself why you got there. How you got there. Be honest with yourself so that the problem can be resolved BEFORE you are there again.
Before you push the big red button of self destruction you need to pick up the phone and say the following words. “Master I am experiencing sub drop. Help please!”
And hopefully you will hear a wise and wonderful person on the other end say “I know just what to do.”
AftercareThis brings me to aftercare the components of which can be used immediately after a scene or in instances like this. I found a fair description of aftercare for those who are interested.
“In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to an s-type (submissive, slave, bottom, etc) after intense activities of a physical, and/or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities. Aftercare goes above and beyond any possible necessity to treat and/or clean wounds (contusions, abrasions, punctures, lacerations, etc) from blood play or other BDSM practices.
After an intense “session”, an s-type may be incapable of, or have real difficulty, moving without assistance, or communicating their needs clearly, thus requiring another to provide for her/his care (blanket, hydration, cleanup, food, rest, etc). These experiences can be (and usually are) exhausting, depleting the s-type’s internal resources (physical, mental, and/or emotional). As a result, frequently the s-type requires emotional support, comfort, reassurances, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he/she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatizaton (though every effort should be made to avoid the latter result, not “crossing the line” from sensory stress to actual damage and/or lingering unwanted effects to the s-type). It also includes a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the D-type (Dominant, Master, Top, etc) and the s-type. How soon this should occur, after such a “session”, will vary, but should not be ignored, or omitted.”[iii]
I remember the first scene I ever did with my Sir. My knees were Jell-O, my legs filled with water, my mind was flying free. He wrapped me up in this blanket and held me. It felt like hours that I lay there curled up between his legs with his arms around me. It seemed like hours until I could form simple words instead of nod my head. It was probably more like minutes. Yet if someone had not held me I would have literally fallen to the ground. If someone had not wrapped me in a blanket I would have experienced some variance of shock.
He has always held me. He has always brought me down slowly and on the odd occasion when I needed more. He has been there.
Now before I continue I want to make this clear not everyone needs as intensive aftercare. Some people are fine with a hug and a pat on the ass but I feel that those people are in the minority. The majority of people do need more and they need to realistically know what that more is.
You need to be able to ask yourself some honest questions and be prepared to say to him that this is what I need to be ok. So what do you need to be ok and how can you make yourself ok?
Some questions I would recommend are.
How do I feel after a scene?
Am I hot or cold?
Do I feel thirsty?
Do I feel like being alone? Do I prefer to be held?These are just some starter questions but honestly assess your reactions and they will be better able to tell you what kind of aftercare you need.
Also be prepared for this to change. People change over time and you may need more or less aftercare as time goes by. Just as with all things take time to reassess your feelings as needed.
“Sub fever”, “”Subspace”, and “Sub drop” and aftercare are a part of this lifestyle. They can be exciting and they can be scary. There are no set answers to what they are or how they can be handled. As with many things in our lifestyle the answers are very subjective. The key to finding those answers is communication and honesty. You need to be honest with your D-type but just as importantly you need to be honest with yourself.
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57 Replies
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Lt, you did a great job with this! There is a lot of important information in here. I know it will help many of us. I’ve experienced subspace on several occasions and I learned a few new things by reading it.
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Sassy I am glad you liked it and that you have gained some knowledge from it. I do hope the other new ladies read it because it answers a lot of questions when your new and confused on why you feel the way you do.
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Thanks for the info Lt. I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced all of these to some degree… Sub-fever for sure in the beginning… I wanted everything all at once…did not work very well, but we took a step back, re-evaluated, got some great advice and moved on. We have our own pace, but I love where our D/s is headed…
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Your welcome SSB! I think everyone has sub fever but doesn’t know what it is and how it will effect them with their emotions. Take it slow lady and your D/s will flourish in the right direction and you will be surprised on how far you really have come along. Remember: The turtle won the race!
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I read this post at work today, on my phone. A bit of informative procrastinating. It’s a great post. I definitely have the “NOW NOW NOW” feeling! But I’ve never been one to settle, I’ve just been one to make really bad choices, and that’s a completely different problem. Although new and on my own, I’m in no rush. Don’t feel the need to sign up for any online dating websites again, not even the D/s ones. I’ll take some time to soak up the experience and knowledge that is on offer in here, and get a better picture of what type of man it is I am looking for. I’m pretty sure Doms come in as many shapes and sizes as vanilla men. And once I do meet one, I don’t feel as though I would want to jump straight in to a scene with Him. I’m loking for long term, so I need to know that the vanilla works too.
From reading the post I can clearly see that what I’m wanting is more the after care than the actual scene itself. Mind you, I’m very keen on doing the scenes too, as I’ve always had a bit of kink in me. But the thought of going through an exhausting scene that might involve both physical and emotional pain, and then to have the inflictor there afterwards to take care of you, and not just leave you, that’s the bit I’m after. That feeling of getting as much as I give. Exchanging wants and needs.
Another thing I have time to try and establish, is what type of dynamic it is I want. I was called Pet before, and although I do feel a bit like a pet in many ways, I definitely have some little one in me. Lots of little, I’d say. But from what I read, establishing a dynamic can be trial and error, until finding something that works. So I won’t become fixated on an idea, as that would leave me closed off to the posibilities out there.
I’ll very likely read this post a few times over. It’s really good!
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Nameless we have all made mistakes and we learn and gain knowledge from them. Do not beat up on yourself lady, read and listen to all the ladies and you will no when that certain man comes into your life. You will be so knowledgeable that you will be a beautiful sub and we all have different pieces of genres in D/s. You can be a combination of a Little, masochist and so on… D/s has no boundaries on how or what you are in its realm… you make it your own lady.
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Thank you so much for the information and insight! Like so many others, we are new to D/s-M (although there’s been an undercurrent throughout our relationship since the beginning) and we are feeling our way to something that works for us. My Sir travels frequently for work and I have noticed something close to sub-drop if we have an intense session the night before He travels. A few weeks ago I had an early morning appointment and when I returned home, He had already left for a 3 day trip. Even though our young adult son was home doing laundry, the house felt vacant and empty when I walked in the door and I had the overwhelming urge to sit down and cry. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what was wrong or why I was having such a hard time functioning at home. We have been married nearly 28 years and spent the first 20 as an active duty family. I am completely capable of functioning, running a household, etc on my own but suddenly found myself wandering around the house and checking my phone/laptop/iPad for potential missed texts/emails from my Sir. I kept thinking, “WTH is wrong with me?!”
Sometime during that particular trip I stumbled upon this post and suddenly it clicked – sub drop. Did some more research on the topic and decided I wasn’t going crazy – just experiencing something new.
My husDom figured it out too (and felt terrible about it while on the road) and has a few ideas on how to keep me from feeling lost while he is away. 🙂
Again, many thanks for the extremely helpful information!
june-
You are very welcome June and hope it helped you better understand the emotions that you are feeling and why. I’m going to answer the sub drop question for Mrs Discreet if you would like to understand more please read my reply.
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Ugh, so glad I found this thread. I think I have my first case of sub-drop. Similar situation as June. First scene in months and Dh leaves on 3 day within 12 hours. I have felt utterly lost and alone. Max brain fog and even headaches. No way to talk to him about this. Tomorrow won’t come soon enough. Thankfully we came up with a new plan/ritual to have downtime immediately upon his return. I can’t wait to be naked at his and then slowly undressing him while explaining what I have been going thru.
My concern is how to prevent this. We kind of have to snatch any opportunity that arises for play due to college graduate back home while job hunting and HS daughter in the house too. It would make sense to make sure he is home at least a day after play but that may mean missing opportunity if one arises!
On the upside, now I honestly know what this is and that I am not going crazy. Up until now when I read about it, I just couldn’t relate. Any advice from those who have travelers would be much appreciated.
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Very informative post, Lt! Thank you for taking the time to put this together.
I’ve read quite a few different definitions of all of the above, but I really like this one and will refer it to often.I have definitely went through and continue to go through the sub frenzy/fever since this is all still so new. I am trying my best to slower my pace to that of my husband. This is soooo hard to do! lol
I have yet to experience sub space. I am really looking forward to that!! We haven’t had any “real” scenes just yet. Mostly just short play time, but that has been great so far.
In yours (or anyone’s here) opinion… Do you think it’s possible to get sub drop without ever reaching sub space??
The reason I ask, is from the description here on sub drop, I seem to be in a never ending loop of the different levels you describe. It all really hit home, but I’ve never experienced sub space.
We have agreed to keep things only sexual D/s for the time being until hubby gets a better idea of what a Dom is and what it means for him, so my experiences have been very few, tame and quite often many days apart. When there is a day that it doesn’t happen or nothing is mentioned or talked about, I start going down that spiral of the levels you describe. I’m a complete mess for days, crying non-stop and just in a general depressed mood.
Do you think that it may be sub drop.. or something else?-
Mrs Discreet I do believe you can have sub drop without subspace. The reason I say this is because its like depression in a way. When we start keeping a sub mindset all the time by feeding off our Dom’s dominance. Our Dom’s keep the atmosphere for us and when we are getting that “Good Girl or the petting of the hair or the tasks and that all around dominant attention” Our body chemicals kind of change and its like a high for us because we are submissive. If this is always on going which it should be because we need to feed each other and that’s how we grow together. But if it starts dwindling from your Dom the balance is lacking and your bodies chemicals re-adjust. That high you were feeling is gone and you get in a state where nothing is right, you want to cry, your head may even hurt and you feel that your Sir isn’t stepping up the way you need him to do everyday. It’s like having to much of a good thing and you get use to it than all of a sudden its gone and your lost. D/s is like a drug and its addictive and if you get your Sir’s dominance and his control constantly and it all of a sudden starts lacking….you need that fix. That is why it is so important in D/s to balance your roles and keep it constant everyday. Know one say’s you have to run like the wind and you shouldn’t, it should be at a steady constant pace so you are both constantly feeding each other everyday. Even if that feeding is done in the small things everyday! Submissive’s need constant attention given to them if not you will feel lost when it is not given.
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Thank you, Lt.
At least I know now that I’m not going crazy or anything. LOL!
I have read this and the description to hubby. He doesn’t understand how I could feel this way, but I am hopeful that now with a bit of knowledge, that he may step up in his role a little more.-
The way LT describes it as like a form of depression is right on. In hindsight I had subdrop a bunch of times in the beginning. Sir eventually started to see the signs of it coming on and would try to stop it before it would happen. He can see it happening now before I even realize it’s happening. But that started happening the further along we got in our D/s. The more we fell into our roles. And I’m sure I’m more apt to discuss it with him now before I let the subdrop set in. Having that better communication really does help.
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So happy to read this! Thank you for posting, very helpful to a new sub & i shared the info with Sir. I’m sure Sir is already aware of these issues but having such clear definitions is reassuring. i am without question in sub-fever!
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Your welcome lady, I’m glad it helped explain what you are feeling. It is overwhelming at times.
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LT,
I really appreciate all of this information! It is so helpful. As a newbie to know what it going on and what to expect. I think I need to put a reminder on my calendar to read this post often so I can check in and determine where I am and what is going on. Thank you!
Sapphire-
You are very welcome Sapphire and I’m happy that it’s helping you new subs understand what you are feeling and why.
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LT – I’m a little later coming to your post on this forum… Sir has brought up sub space/ drop several times in the past few weeks. He mentioned some interesting posts he read at husDOM, and it finally steered me here to do some reading of my own. Recently, I went into subspace intensely when we had our first scene where we really raised the bar on the D/s and the physical sensations of pleasure/ pain. I think Sir was very concerned for me afterwards. Thank heavens he’s the man that he is… he stayed beside me, stroking my head, making me drink water periodically, covering me up in the blankets… he did everything I needed but couldn’t express.
You’re right, that feeling of flying is addictive, and I realize I’ve been in a state of sub fever ever since! Sir and I do not live together, and I realize I’ve also battled sub drop. I have a personal history of wrestling with depression, and I think your analogy is perfect. I think I avoided acknowledging sub drop because I was skittish that I was really bordering depression again. What a relief to realize that what I’m feeling is a natural reaction to our growing relationship! I know I’ve felt the ‘frenetic’ and the ‘depressed’ aspect of drop you described. So reassuring to know I’m not alone and to hear you dissect it so clearly.
In our next down time, I’m going to ask Sir if we can talk about sub space/ drop/ fever. I think his mentioning it has been priming my mind to focus more on where he thinks I need to spend time learning about myself. (He’s incredibly astute that way…) Thank you for sharing and explaining, and for helping me learn more about my own submissiveness.
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Your welcome Honeybadger! I’m glad that this is helping all you new subs understand what you are feeling since starting this journey.
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Thank you, All. This thread was exactly what I needed to read, I was so glad to find it. Since my Commander and I just recently discovered the D/s lifestyle, I have been experiencing a range of emotional and physiological responses to the intensity. At first I thought I had caught the flu. My body now also responds to just hearing his voice or being in his presence, and I have known him for over 20 years! I am finding myself feeling like a lovesick schoolgirl, as L.T. mentioned. This sub frenzy/fever has been a challenge for me, since we have children at home, and finding time alone together to play and explore has been difficult. However, my Commander is helping me find the discipline to be patient, one of my greatest weaknesses. He has also given me tasks and writing assignments when we are apart, to focus my mind. Still, I have got the fever for my Dom! Thank you so much for this helpful information.
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Little cosset I am so glad you found it and that it explained those emotions that you were feeling. It will make it a little easier know that you know what is happening and why. You will learn learn how to direct that energy in a positive sub way that fits your dynamic. Have patience!
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Thank you for sharing this. It helps me understand my emotional rollercoaster recently. I have been on the chat and the ladies are very helpful as well.
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Your very welcome lady.
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Thank you LT for writing this. I have had a long week and our D/s has kinda took the back seat this week. I’m really feeling my sub needing to be feed. I have definitely felt all of these since really getting into our lifestyle a month ago. We have our downtime tonight and I will be sharing this with Sir.
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Your welcome Babe! It will take time for you to adjust to these emotions but once you understand why you and your Sir will find ways to get through it. Your Sir will find ways to keep you fed and in the mindset on those days vanilla interferes.
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This was very informative, thanks LT
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Thanks, it was very informative. Although we’ve been D/s for 4 years (ebbs and flows) i have not yet experienced subspace or subdrop. Perhaps we’ve not pushed the psychological or physical boundaries quite enough yet. Fever, most definitely experienced that….
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Your welcome! I believe it information that every new submissive should read.
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Oh I wish I’d found the warren and the info here a month ago. Brilliantly put together article that I “get”.
I was suffering from all of the above and nearly ruined everything. It took me too long to realise i just had to kneel at his feet and ask for a spanking and instead I said some things and behaved in a way that affected Sir so much he questioned if he wanted to continue in this dynamic. Luckily he was able to look past it, realising i was acting out and not completely in control of my emotions.
I can see me re-reading this many times. Thank you.-
You are very welcome lady and I’m sorry you found it after you went through those emotions. Yes it is information that we all should read every couple of months to keep it fresh in our minds.
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thank you for this post! I am currently feeling this sub drop from our intense session last night. Tested limits last night and tried some new things. I enjoyed every minute but today I feel like crying. Feelings of shame, guilt and sadness wash over me. Why and how do I make it go away? I just want to lay in bed and sleep or cry. I don’t want my Sir to see me like that and I have two kids to feed, laundry to do, and paperwork for my job that needs to tending to. I just want to lay in my Sir’s arms and stay there.
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What you’re feeling is very, very normal! Please, do not hide it from your Sir. He needs to know exactly how you are feeling so He can take care of you. Getting good aftercare is extremely important. A hot bath, a nap, and some TLC from your Sir will go a long way in helping you regain your balance. Maybe He can help with the kids and/or laundry? Remember, this is a team effort. Also, try not to over think your feelings right at this moment. If you let yourself become bogged down with shame or guilt, it makes sub drop feel worse. Hang in there and glad to hear your session was good for you! Hugs,
june -
I totally agree with everything June has suggested, I also would suggest not to stay in bed because depression will settle in even more, get up and do things that will make you happy in your submission. It won’t be easy but it will pass quickly this way.
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Thank you. It is great to hear that my feelings are normal, as I have been questioning my choices because of the way I am feeling today. I have talked with Sir about it and he gave me some things to do today so that I stayed busy. I thought that was a good idea otherwise I wouldn’t have accomplished much and I am happy to say that I have accomplished everything. I just don’t think he realizes the extent of my feelings.
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Just wanted to say how much better I am feeling today. Sub drop feelings seem to have passed and I have learned a lot about myself in the process. Doing the things my Sir asked me to do made me feel better and kept my mind busy.
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I’m glad to hear your feeling better and yes we do learn a lot about ourselves in the process. It’s a good thing and it help us grow and become closer to our Sirs.
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I really appreciate this piece. The information was so clear to understand and spoke to me on several levels. Being new to the D/s lifestyle and coming from a home as a girl where sex and in fact emotion were topics not to be discussed at all this article gave me clarity I need to properly assess my own feelings. The physical/emotional responses to stimuli in this lifestyle have been so much more … well, at times severe and scary. Now I am able to define for myself and share with my Daddy what, why, how and an additional ‘this is what I need you to do because of it.’ So thank you from me as well as Daddy : ) And a side note, I do believe very strongly that just as subspace reaches people at varying degrees of play/pain that it can and does reach those who are more emotionally sensitive without any physical stimulation at times but by an emotional condition brought about in some way by the Master/Dominant/Daddy etc. I have joked before with my Daddy (before we committed to this lifestyle) that when he would ‘go all Alpha-male’ it was like a sweet drug that could cause a crash later, and this was before BDSM and void of sex. I just wanted to throw that out there, tell others like me who have been shocked, scared and kept quiet secretly wondering if we are indeed freaks that not only is this a real thing, but can happen at different times for different reasons and your emotional sensitivity throughout your relationship, like your life, can change how you are affected … and guess what, THAT’S OK TOO (giggles)
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I’m glad you liked it and your welcome, I also agree this can happen too some just by being more sensitive and emotional without having sex.
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