Submission – is it a gift?

[MrFox]

Everyone,

If I may…

At the root of the matter submission is a gift…

Everyone is welcome to cloak it, disguise it and find unique ways of referring to it, but at the end of the day if you believe that submission is anything other than a gift you simply define D/s differently than I do. And that is fine, as I would not take offense to that…

I will keep my post to a minimum as so much has already been said about it.

A gift by definition is an offering.

submission is an offering and should always be approached as such.

We can devise a million creative writing techniques and wonderful twists to the plot but they are all just that, twists. Twists that place a haze over the fact that submission is always a gift.

The moment that a Dominant begins to believe otherwise there is a shift in the dynamic, a change of course if you will. Without the submissive’s offering of her submission the dynamic becomes something else altogether.

submission is not something that is earned, except for on a daily basis. You do not accomplish something that has earned you the right to submission.

submission is not owed to you for some deed that you may have accomplished.

submission is and always has to be, by definition, an offering… a gift…

Best wishes,

Mr Fox

[Unknown Member]

I totally agree Mr Fox, I give my submission to my Sir because I want too, not because I have too. I also see it as a gift to Sir from me because it isn’t something I give to anyone else, it’s special and has deep meaning to me. My Sir see’s it as a gift also because it’s given openly with respect to him only and only him. I also treasure Sir’s dominance because he also does not have to give me that part of himself in the D/s lifestyle. So I see it as we both give a part of us as a gift to one another to become one. Bound together in a lifestyle that fulfills and completes us both on a deeper intimate level than our vanilla lifestyle.

[littlebear]

I truly enjoyed reading this thread. It’s great to see the different opinions. D/s is what you make it. Your relationship is what you make it. Submission IS trust, honesty, and respect. And for that matter so is domination. It’s a relationship. It’s who we are and it’s a lifestyle. One side alone can’t be a gift. If one is then both has to be.

[naviah-mr-cufflinks]

Is Submission a gift? Yes and no is my answer. Yes, it was the best gift I ever gave myself. It was the best gift I ever gave to my marriage. I was always my husbands in many ways, but not without strings attached and the need to define all my own boundaries. Now, I have only the boundaries Sir sets, none of my own. I gave myself to my husband when I said “I do”, but that was not really a gift, that was only a commitment.
My “no” part would be that my submissiveness should have always been there. Giving him dominance was just me stopping the battle to have it myself. I cannot give him something that was always meant to be his. I just stopped fighting him for the role. I let go of the reigns and let him have them back. They were always meant to be in his hands to begin with but I was too stubborn to see it or admit it. For whatever messed up reason, I felt like submission made me weak, but now that I have done it, I have never felt stronger. The power to take it back is mine, if I want to, but why would I? Who really wants a weakened and emasculated man for a husband? Not me!
When I surrendered and submitted I watched my Sirs heart grow 10 sizes almost immediately. So, call it selfish if you want, but submission was the best gift I ever gave myself. It is what makes me a better gift to my Sir.

[Unknown Member]

Hello Bratty,
I have been following this topic closely and feel that since you started the topic and stated: “I apologize if my post offends anyone” but yet you come back and respond that you feel insulted. I don’t know your dynamics with your Sir just like you do not know any of these submissives dynamics. Most married couples in a D/s relationship do not have contracts because they don’t believe in them and that includes myself. Also the word GIFT is meant figuratively in what these submissive are saying to you. Meaning “If your husband says you are going to submit to me like it or not” 1. A D/s relationship is not built on that foundation 2.My submission is not given freely to anyone including my husband and neither is his dominance to me. 3. Both are given with respect and my gift of submission to my husband will be taken away if he disrespects me in an unrespectable manner or his dominance turns into a domineering manner. Either role position is not a guaranteed contract to always be given in a no matter what situation, it is earned with respect and cherished with love from one another. These submissives out here are not a single submissive or a slave that has a contract stating she has no say in what she wants or needs and even so she can always walk away. So since I am the site manager I am going to ask you to give your opinion but do it with respect. We try to understand each other’s dynamics and give our opinion but with a positive reply. If this is a problem for you than maybe this site isn’t for you or isn’t what you are looking for in your submission.

Sincerely,
LT