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Subdrop
Good evening ladies. I posted this in the chat a couple of days ago, but was advised that the forum is a better place to post to with things like this. I would like to discuss subdrop. The difference you and I have.. I am not married to Sir. We do not live together. Which as you can imagine, makes things very difficult. He surprised me by turning up last night, and I was punished for some previous actions. Sir, then had to leave pretty quickly after the scene. He messaged to make sure I was ok & when I hadn’t replied, he called to check in on me. I was feeling slightly fragile, so he told me to have 4 minutes in my cupboard. (My cupboard is my safe place). After that he told me to relax and to sleep. I think it was because I was being punished that the aftercare wasn’t like he normally does. I think the lack of aftercare mixed with the punishments has definitely taught me a lesson. But last night I felt very very emotional. After researching into subdrop, I would like some help with how to deal with subdrop. Thanks
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2 Replies
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/hugs! Totally normal and to be expected at times. It does not always come on right away either, I’ve had it come on hours later while doing other things…aka…sobbing in the grocery store lol. You just suddenly feel lonely and maybe physically and mentally exhausted. And it’s good to note that pain can make you tired as well…no matter how enjoyable it is/was. (people who live with chronic pain disorders have taught me this) Sir and I have agreed that no matter where I am or what I’m doing…I’m to stop, (leave if possible) and call him (or text him). Typically, he can talk me through it and get me relaxed. Usually, he’ll tell me to go get my favorite coffee from Starbucks and a cupcake from our local cupcake lady …those two typically cheer me up quickly. If for whatever reason, I can’t get ahold of him…say he’s teaching a class, etc…then I take a bubble bath, listen to some music, or an audiobook and just remind myself that with intense pleasure can come intense emotions.
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Hi Elliebaby,
I read this a couple of days ago and I’ve been thinking about it, but as you pointed out my perspective is entirely different from yours. This is not intended to be judgmental, so please don’t take it that way. I wouldn’t know how to have the level of trust and intimacy required to achieve subspace with someone to whom I didn’t have a lifetime commitment and share a home. The vast majority of women in this community are married to their Doms, so even though our interests may be similar, our experiences and struggles will be different from single submissives.
On to subdrop… understanding what subdrop is at a physiological level is the key to fighting it. All the pleasure and pain stimuli of a good scene drive endorphins through the roof, and when they wear off you are basically in withdrawal. So what else drives up endorphins? Exercise, spicy food, chocolate, massages, YouTube videos about puppies, a glass of wine… Pick what works for you and replace some of those endorphins to ease you back to reality.
But was what you experienced subdrop? As I’m reading your post, it seems more like feelings of abandonment and insecurity over the punishment. These are valid feelings and you desire to be comforted is 100% natural.
On another note, I have not heard of using a confined space for short periods of time as a reward/comfort. Perhaps you can elaborate on that…
I’ll be in the chat for the majority of the day, and you can private chat me if you want to talk.
Staci
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