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Struggles – Help
Hello Ladies –
I first want to say how wonderful it is to find this community of helpful people. My Sir and I are overwhelmed with the outpouring of support that we have received in only a few short days. I wanted to share an issue I’m struggling on with everyone.
My Sir and I starting exploring the D/s lifestyle at my encouragement after reading many BDSM themed books. I just knew after each one that this was something I needed in my life. I hoped that he would want to explore it with me. My Sir is constantly reassuring me that he wouldn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. He is doing this because he is enjoying the experience. I know I need to take his word for it but, there is something in the back of my mind the just worries I forced his hand.
He pretty much knows all my thoughts. He has asked me to keep a journal and can read everything I’m thinking. I do believe this is very beneficial in so many ways. I feel like I don’t always know what he is thinking. Has anyone else felt like this? Any suggestions on how I can move past this worry? I know deep down he is right and I need to accept he word. I just love him so much and don’t want to do anything to mess this up.
Thank you for your support,
Panda -
4 Replies
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Panda Do you love your husband? Do you trust your husband in making decisions in your vanilla life? If yes on both this questions…just let go. If your husband has agreed to be your Dom and to go on this journey with you…than let him lead you and just be there to guide him. Also reassure his dominance by feeding him everyday with your submission. Remember He is also trusting you that you really want this. Take this journey together and believe in each other. The trust and confidence has to be felt on both sides for this to work. Let go and believe in him until he shows you different. Have Faith!
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Lt – Thank you for responding. I love he so much and trust him 100%. I know I need to trust him completely or this will not work. I’m going to just let go and trust that if he is uncomfortable her will be honest with me and tell me.
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Panda, my Sir is a man of few words sometimes when it comes to feelings. Ideas that might help: he responds to your journal entries OR writes his own independently and then you both share (we did/do this a lot so nobody feels pressured). A few weeks into our journey, Sir brought up that he felt he was not being heard sometimes. We do downtime where he gets to speak first and I just listen – no opinions, no interruption until he is done. I get the same after he is done and then we discuss. I was so surprised at how much came out when we each stopped talking to listen. 🙂
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Arwen – Thank you for the suggestions! I’ve already talked to him about downtime and told him we need to start doing this regularly. We already talk before we go to sleep every night but I think a scheduled time to get everything out that we need to will be helpful. I will try asking him for more feed back to my journal entries and maybe that will help pull out feelings from him. I know that he really appreciates what I’m writing especially because he know how much I despise writing.
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