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"Steak and Blowjob Day"
Yesterday was “Steak and Blowjob Day”. Yes, this is a REAL holiday! I had never heard about it before meeting you crazy kinksters, but I have come to enjoy this holiday even more than its sister holiday, Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day seem to be a day of pressure and stress. What will he do for me? What should I do for him? Can we get reservations? How much money should I spend? Will our gifts be equal? Steak and Blowjob Day…easy peasy. It’s clear and direct in its expectations, and there is no worry about what I will be given in return. It is a day fully focused on pleasing my Sir’s desires, and that really speaks to my inner submissive.
I would like to say that I approached “Steak and BJ day’ with absolute certainty and no fears or qualms, but that would be a lie. First, a little background: D/s comes easily to Sir and I. The respect, service, bondage, impact play, scening, etc, etc…all comes very naturally to us both. The sex, however, does not. Talking and engaging in sex has always been uncomfortable in our marriage. Discovering D/s M and subMrs did not magically cure that, as I had hoped it would. Don’t get me wrong, we talk about sex and engage in some sexual activities about a THOUSAND times better and more often than we used to, but it is still not a comfortable topic for either of us. Understand clearly, the issue has never been unwillingness on my part, but more a discomfort in discussing and acting on most sexually related things on my Sir’s part. Attempts to talk about either of our sexual needs or fantasies were always met with jokes or a half-joking admonition to “Behave yourself, young lady”. He rejects “dirty talk” as being unnatural and outside of my normal personality, so it feels like “role playing” to him, which he despises. So, making the perfect steak was easy. Pushing past fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear that he doesn’t find me sexy, fear that I won’t be able to pleasure him to release, etc…THAT was hard. However, it wasn’t “Steak and a cuddle on the couch while we binge watch Game of Thrones Day”. I was determined to do it right…see it all the way through.
I gained some confidence when the following happened:I was driving home with Sir and the kids. He asks me what’s for dinner tonight. I reply, just a tiny snarky, “I don’t know. I haven’t been home since we left together this morning. We only have one car, remember?” He nods. I continue… “Sorry.. Hamburgers, I guess? Is that ok? It’s a nice night for the grill..” He nods again. 20 minutes later, he pulls into HEB. I ask what we need from the food store, mentally ticking off all the burger stuff we already have. I shrug and follow him, and about 10 steps into the store when a thought occurs to me. I look at him. “ Sir, what’s the date today? “ “ He looks at me. “14th”. I grin and say, ”We can’t have burgers tonight!” He grins back at me. “Exactly! I’ll buy the steaks…you handle the rest. “I literally jumped up and down in the store and clapped my hands like a little girl.
After that exchange, I knew he was on board. I just had to work up the nerve to make it happen. It was late by the time dinner was finished, (Sir had a HusDom chat for a few hours first). I knew he was tired. I could have used any of these excuses to beg off, but I didn’t let it sway me. We get upstairs and he gets a work phone call. It’s almost 11 PM!! I decide to swallow the glare I felt building up inside, and patiently started moving around the room while he talked on the phone. I took my clothes off…picked up the keys to my locked subbie drawer, and held them up to him for silent permission to unlock the drawer. He raises a brow as he continue talking to his client, but nods. I take out some peppermint spray, a tiny vibrator, and some massage oil….place them all next to him while he continues talking. He is watching. He may pretend he’s not, but I know he is! I knelt at his feet and just lightly start massaging his legs. Not too much to be a distracting brat, (work calls are not something to be toyed with), but enough to remind him that I am there, and I am NOT allowing these distractions to dissuade me from fulfilling the promise of this day.
Eventually, he ends the call and I ask him to settle on the bed on his back. I put on some music, remove his clothes… and I start to do those things that I hope feel good to him. He grins a little…starts to chatter in a silly way that tells me he is uncomfortable. Again, communication of his desires in this area has been lacking, so I am guessing what feels good or doesn’t…and I am starting to fear rejection. I mustered all of my bravado and asked him to stop talking. “Sir ,I don’t want you to joke. I don’t want you to talk about distracting things. Unless you have a direction for me, some expression of your desire in what you want me to do…please STOP talking.” He did. I experimented with different kinds of touch, tried to pay attention to his responses, which were limited. This wasn’t the first blowjob, but they are always very….I dunno….polite? Perfunctory? Vanilla? I love to please him in this way, but he always seems so passive throughout, I am never sure if I’m actually pleasing him.
I will spare the blow by blow (No pun intended) details, but this is the part that I am super proud of…Sir was responding. Though he says nothing, I could feel his body starting to respond to my mouth, and I am heady with the desire to bring him to orgasm. Sometimes it doesn’t end that way, but I sensed that we were heading in that direction. He quietly, as he always does, says. “Are you ready?” Instead of quietly, politely nodding and continuing until he had his release….I stopped and spoke the words that have been hiding way deep inside of me..that I had been so afraid to say because he would be shocked or uncomfortable with the language. “Sir..please…grab my fucking hair…I need you to shove your cock down my throat as you cum”. Here’s the cool part. He did! He grabbed me by the back of the head and rammed into me. I had a moment of “Oh, shit..what did I just do?!” I had to adjust…figure out how to breathe, but when I felt him cum in the back of my throat, my head fully under his control…the weight of his collar bouncing lightly ob my chest…I felt the power of my submission deeper than anything I have felt for a LONG time. For the first time, Sir had not just politely accepted the pleasure I offered, but he TOOK it from me. I felt possessed to the very core of my being.
So…”Steak and a Blowjob Day”….it has a new place of respect in my life. I accepted the challenge. Do I think this means all of our sexual difficulties are now going to magically disappear? Nope. But, I think we have just taken a new step in honesty and intimacy in our journey. -
6 Replies
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I love you So much for sharing this! Bravo subbie! Hats off to you for pushing through the excuse and fear. I can feel your pride in your words at you accomplishment.
XOXO
KLEINE -
Oh my! That was so steamy hot! I am so excited that you were able to have this moment. I am even more PROUD of you!!! Angelica, do you realize how many obstacles you overcame to stick to your game plan. You had so many opportunities to literally “blow it off” but you stuck to it. And what an amazing outcome. You may have opened Pandora’s box to more of this in the future. I sure hope so! We’ll have to talk more about your technique. Sir Ed can rarely get to the big O through oral stimulation alone. You may have some tricks up your sleeve that I can try!
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Angelica, thank you for sharing such a special thing with us! It sounds like an amazing night and I am so happy for you.
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wow just wow and good for you 🙂 Sir and I are going to dinner in just a bit- we may celebrate a day late 😉
Thank you for sharing your experience with us-
XOXOXO
Wench -
Congratulations Angelica. So happy for you. I have never heard of steak and Bj day but I will be marking my calendar for the future 😉
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A!!! My heart!! I am SO proud of you for going through with it, and being honest with your Sir about what you needed from him.
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