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Starting on my knees
After reading the stories of others who have asked for formal acceptance, I spent a lot of time thinking about my situation. I was unreasonably and illogically angry when babe told me good luck and that I’d find my submission. I pouted thinking about how I had found my submission, but I was angry that my husdom hadn’t taken control. I was waiting for something to happen. That alone goes against my “A” type personality. Then the light bulb went off and I realized that I was ready to present myself formally to my husband and master and beg for his ownership and dominance. I was waiting for him, but I wasn’t giving my signal that I was ready. So, last night I took that plunge. I begged and pleaded for his mastery. I showed him I was ready to return to him. I showed I was desperate for his control in a way I hadn’t been our first time around. He rewarded me with taking control. He had been waiting on me to beg he said. The last time around we just kind of fumbled through this. I wasn’t really ready to change. This time I am and I started by showing it. I am emotional today. I’m thinking through all the things we said to each other. I’m thinking of the look he had. The sex was even different. Once upon a time I had visions of what this would like, how I wanted something out of an erotica novel complete with an Eyes Wide Shut sort of ritual. I don’t live in that world. We have two shedding dogs, a special needs son, and a five year old. The closest I get to fantasy is when I close my eyes and take a bath with music playing. I asked him to sit in his chair in our shared home office. I knelt on the floor ignoring the clumps that reappeared 10 minutes after vacuuming their kin up. I poured out my heart and mind and when he took control I forgot everything that wasn’t perfect because the only things that needed to be was us. At least now, I have a second chance. Regards, His xiaomei
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6 Replies
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I’m so sorry that I upset you. Not at all what I was trying to do. I am so happy for you that you got your second chance. 🙂
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babe,
Like I said I was irrational, I know you were not trying. What I was upset by was really me and I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I am glad you said what you did, because it was spot on when it came down to it.
Thank you for your words – all of them.
His xiaomei
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Awwwww. Your Welcome! I’m Glad I Could Help.
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Thanks for sharing your story, HSM…it’s really helpful and clarifying to hear about it.
I’m super-close to being finished preparing my formal acceptance “script” or outline, so I’m getting more and more eager for presenting it to My Sir.
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Thanks for sharing. I’m working on the correct way to ask my husband.
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Lovelace, you know best what your husdom will appreciate. There really isn’t a correct way, they’re is only the best way for you, which is probably what you meant. Sometimes I get hung up on words. I hope you find the words that do justice to your emotional needs and his. It is such an amazing moment and you’ll find that whatever happens is what was supposed to happen.
Best to you both
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