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Reflections from the Rabbit Trail – A Year of Submission
It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since my HusDom asked me to become His submissive while I was doing dishes. Some research, some testing of the dynamic, and a heartfelt Formal Acceptance where we both pledged a better version of ourselves to the other and we were off. In the short span of a year, I have learned the meaning of and experienced sub-fever, sub-space, and sub-drop with my Sir patiently and lovingly guiding me through each new experience. I have found so much freedom through my surrender to Him and we have grown as individuals, a couple, and as a Dominant and submissive.
There have been challenges along the way for both of us. It’s easy when we’re both wrapped up in the other within the cocoon of the little bubble we created at home. But as we all know, we can’t stay in the bubble all the time and real life…er… vanilla life, comes calling, knocking, and banging down the door. Still, we have persevered through the natural ebbs and flows of our D/s. Along the way we have grown closer to each other, maintained open and honest communication even when it felt awkward or difficult to express ourselves, have felt a deeper connection than ever, and have stretched ourselves physically in ways I never imagined possible.
But we have also found that D/s is so much more than mind-blowing kinky fuckery. Don’t get me wrong, we LOVE the kinky fuckery very, very much! But at the heart of my submission is a desire to serve and please my husDom. It might be a cup of coffee in the morning, taking the dry cleaning in for Him, or even making sure the lawn guy is paid when He’s out on the road. It’s the little things day in and day out. I ease the burdens of His day through my service to Him and in turn, He cherishes me in every single way imaginable. He also sees and understands my needs. He gives me a way to channel stress, anxiety, turmoil, and other emotions that come from vanilla life. He also makes me feel beautiful, sexy, and confident.
There have been a few curve balls thrown our way over the past six/eight weeks that has shaken both of us up. We will get through it and be fine, but the here to there has been a challenge. The hardest thing for me has been to know there are some things in life that I just can’t fix. Here’s the thing, our D/s has been invaluable as a coping device for both of us. It gives us an established outlet to let go of the stress and anxiety. My Sir instinctively knew I needed a good cry and that one sure fire way for me to let go and give into that need was through a session. We have discovered I need pain to let go of pain. I can let go of the fear, the stress, the worry by giving up control to my Sir. It is so freeing! And for Him, it gives Him an area of complete control that He needs right now. We each get what we need through play and it eases some of the burdens of vanilla life. Could we have used our D/s in this way a year ago? No. We were both too new at the lifestyle. But, as LK has said on so many occasions, laying the foundation is the single most important thing to do when beginning the lifestyle. We’ve had a good foundation for a long, long time and have strengthened it through our D/s. Trust. Honesty. Communication. These things have been essential and have deepened love and intimacy between us.
I’m not sure what the future holds for us in our vanilla life or in our D/s, but I am confident we will continue to grow within our Dominant and submissive journey together. And I’m also so, so thankful for the subportive community LK and Mr. Fox have built for all of us.
Love,
june -
7 Replies
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So wish we could stay in that cocoon. It’s the best place.
It’s nice to hear how much D/s has helped carry couples through times of stress or crisis.
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Thank you Princess! Stress is still there, but it’s a great coping mechanism for both of us.
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Thank you so much for this post. I found it encouraging as we have been having a bit of a struggle lately to hear that all the that hard work will pay off. Congratulations on your anniversary!
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I hope this finds you enjoying the journey! xoxoxox
june
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THank you for posting! And Happy Anniversary!!
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June- You’ve expressed this dynamic so thoughtfully and thoroughly. You captured the qualities that are so hard to describe and which have been missing in all my vanilla experiences, girl talks and self-help books on relationships. Communication is always the first advice for improving relationships, but I think in a D/s relationship is required. It’s something you have to do for D/s to build and grow. You hit a fundamental truth of D/s (I think) when you said it’s an invaluable tool for coping with life. I see subs who are new to D/s asking how to keep it going in ‘real’ life, which certainly is a trick to learn. But once you commit to learning how to do it, I think D/s keeps ‘real’ life going.
Sir and I have also passed our one year mark. What a beautiful journey! Happy anniversary, and thanks for sharing! HB
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Happy anniversary (belated) to you and your Sir, Honeybadger! And thank you so much for the thoughtful feedback!
xoxoxo
june
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