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Quick to Anger, and counter productive
One of my biggest hurdles as a submissive is my quickness to anger.When i get angry with sir I tend to be combative back with him, then just stop talking to him. I give short responses to anything he says. I know this is counter productive to the dynamic. When I do this, Sir backs down and starts to revert back to Vanilla. I don’t want this, I don’t want to make him feel like this.
I have been working to identify when I start to get angry with Sir. Over the past two weeks I have been journalism when i am getting angry. I read through my journal today and noticed a pattern. Here is an example of a time when i was quick to anger. We where shopping for supplies for our camping trip, it was starting to get later and I was starting to get hungry. I asked Sir what we where doing for dinner. He did not respond right away and I immediately started to give suggestions like are we buying something are we going out to eat or what. He said something back to me and did not have a answer right away. He asked me what I wanted to do do because he did not care. I then got angry, my brain when well you should make the decision. Well it escalated and i got an attitude and just stopped talking to him and gave short responses to everything he said.
The situations differed slightly each time, but it was every time I asked Sir what we are doing and he did not have a decision for me. I want him to make the decisions, and he only does it 1/2 the time. I cant help but think that my reaction to him makes him back down and not want to make a decision because it will make me angry. He did say to me in down time, that he has been walking on eggshells around me over the past few months. I hate this, I don’t want to make him feel this way. It is very frustrating for me.
Thank you for listening, it helps to get it out.
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