Question: How do you maintain your submission 24/7

[pearl]

I suppose my first question would be what are the consequences for this behavior that you are trying to change?

And my second observation would be are you expecting too much? Not every dynamic will look the same. I consider myself a 24/7 submissive but I doubt our dynamic looks anything like yours or anyone else’s for that matter.

Keep Moving,

Pearl

[Kaninchen]

Hi subelk!

First, I would say what makes you think you should be so much farther? Who has made that measure up for you?

I would say that in TTWD & our D|s-Method provides the set-up for a successful beginning, but after that it is up to you and your Sir to build and grow in your roles.

Are you BOTH growing and working together to further your roles and dig deeper in the places YOU BOTH have decided to take TTWD?

The best thing is this, your words make me think that you want MORE, you want to dig deeper into D|s-M…..

DO THIS…. start making the plan, TOGETHER. You sit inn downtime and discuss what you want your role to look like and what being MORE SUBMISSIVE looks like to you both. If you are not feeling like this is going the way you desire… YOU as a subMRs have the power to change it. Find happiness in TTWD! (This Thing We Do). This should be fun and educational and fulfilling tot you BOTH, personally and your marriage.

Need even more help, email me anytime, LK@subMRs.com

LK

[nyshelteredwife]

I couldn’t agree more with LK wording and reply! We have been in a 24/7 since January when we bumped it to that level. We have had two major pitfalls!!!! I am soooo appreciative of not only this group of terrific ladies but the husdom site as well who is truly I feel the reason we did t fall apart completely!! It takes time. But also IF you have had a set back in any way in your mind it is easy to withdrawal a little if you are like me? I tend to become reserved and guarded if my sir drops the ball as if the dynamic is not a priority and that leaves me feeling very hurt but honestly it takes time to get into TTWD and stay there and it is up to BOTH!! We are in such a good place a few months ago ourselves and then wham my sir got mentally preoccupied and dropped all D/s everything just feeling life in the way and left me devastated and questioning everything since it literally look me 48 years to embrace and accept how I feel. Realize you need to work out a lot together and patience as much as we hate it is your friend for sure. We used the obedience app to start communicating when we were apart more and adding spice to things and I found that helpful ♥️ It’s fun to see praises and also thoughts of my sir and what he adds randomly and keeps me in the mindset daily as we progress. Boy don’t ya wish there was a school!? Lmao. It truly comes down to sitting in downtime and laying it all out how you feel and working on it from there. Every week if that is what it takes. My only fear at this point is losing the dynamic because now that I have embraced it I can never go back. It doesn’t feel right. This dynamic brings out the very best in me with my sir and I never want a vanilla relationship again I do so much better in TTWD. Best of luck you GOT this!

[subrianne-CGL]

Thankyou for sharing. I know I easily withdraw if things may not go the way I think they should. You are right it takes both to make it all work. I am so grateful for this community and the direction they give. Always thinking the best of my Sir and DT are wonderful things. I want this bad enough that I give it my all every day. We use the obedience app too. It is very helpful for us and keeps us in the right mindset. Setting the right atmosphere for our dynamic. I feel like this community is a school for those of us that are submissives.

[nyshelteredwife]

It’s nice to know our feelings are in line with others especially during difficult times. Since I, like many here, in the 24/7 dynamic that is rather newer being less than a year, it is a huge help to have this community. I feel we would be struggling so much more without it. Worth every penny. And I will also say that I highly encourage everyone to sign up your membership for your sir as a gift because it is invaluable. This is coming from someone who almost lost the whole dynamic of it hadn’t been for the support of husdom and the guidance my sir has been getting. ♥️ It’s truly a group effort between the couple and also the support system which maybe you didn’t even know you needed

[Kaninchen]

YEAH! I am glad that you understand the dynamic… you really never left it! Once you’re in there is NOOO going back to vanilla. You botth have realized it is important to get back in the saddle! It’s just getting back into sync and resetting …. Yes, you both have roles and have to work at them, grow in them, for nothing ever stays the same! Congrats… you’re doing great. HE HAS ALL YOUR ANSWERS ..I PROMISE! Communicate what you feel and know … to him… and your husDOM will answer your call!

HUGS!

LK

[subelk]

First, let me apologize for not replying to you posts before now. You know how things get in the way! Second, thank you all for your insights! Sir and I have spent quite a bit of time talking in downtime, ensuring that we are on the same page regarding expectations and how to ensure that I succeed. Previously, when I failed for the same reasons, I was down on myself, beating myself up for why I couldn’t / can’t get it right. After our talks, I’ve shown myself a little more compassion. I’ve started journaling on daily basis for self-coaching, reflecting on what I’m grateful for and celebrating what I’m proud of (or what I’ve done well). I appreciate LK’s advice and am taking it one day at a time. This can be hard work but it is worth it! No going back to vanilla! <div>

p.s. can someone enlighten me on the obedience app?

</div>

[subrianne-CGL]

I am glad you are showing yourself a little grace. I am a perfectionist so I would be really hard on myself as well. When that happens it is harder to stay in the right submissive mindset. Journaling is a good thing. It works for me. One day, one hour at a time is really good advice. It is so worth the hard work. Downtime is a must!!!!

As far as the app goes, it works for some and not for others. I am a list and a visual type person, so the specific tasks and reminders work for me. Collecting points is also rewarding for me. I think it depends on your dynamic and what works for the two of you. Look at it and see if it fits. We are also trying something here on subMrs that would cover some of the same things. It is not an app but it is in the works. Stay tuned bc we are always in need of input. If you are not already get on the Discord too for quick input and discussion. I hope this helps.

[subelk]

How do I get on Discord? Is it on this site? If so, where exactly?

Thanks so much!

[subwifefl]

Not sure if anyone answered ya yet.. if you go to the drop down section under membership (towards the very bottom, has a star…….. the. Scroll past your name to bottom & there’s an option to connect to discord..

[subwifefl]

Me too on the app!!

Something that we are trying, I get a bit mouthy & not the best of holding my place (a “little” type A). So, we’re trying pennies.. I have a few pennies I keep in my pocket.. when we are in a situation where I know I have trouble, (house projects usually), I stick a penny in my mouth.. the copper has a taste & a constant reminder.. hope it helps..

[subrianne-CGL]

I also have trouble with my mouth. Never thought of a penny, that would make me a little nervous. It is a mental thing for me and I am trying to stay in the right mindset. Talking to other submissives and lots of downtime helps so much. One step at a time. Keep us posted on how it is working for you. Are you on Discord? If not please join. We have discussion going on over there. I just replied to subelk about the obedience app and what type of activity we are getting together for subMrs. We would love input so stay tuned.

[subMarie-CSM]

Interesting idea, subwifefl! I can’t help but to hear my mother in the background yelling at me to get those coins out of my mouth. I have always been a bit clumsy so I’d probably end up choking with my luck. LOL! Another idea is to wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap yourself with it. That sting would be a good deterrent for me. A fun-ishment could be putting something a little spicy in your mouth.

Great ideas, all! Thanks for sharing!

[Kaninchen]

Well, yeah… Coins in mouth… CHOKING HAZARD!

But, I love the rubber band we did that when we first started out.. Probably need to do it again…LOL!

I would add to that, research submissive charm, what makes up charm in a person? Do you want to be a submissive? Do you want to submit? What may be the issue of why you’re not following his rule? What makes you feel submissive? What makes you feel like submitting?

Submission is submitting, being submissive to your husDOM ….but also, you’re human… so flexibility and forgiveness is the key for you and your Sir. Rome was not built in a day… submission is something learned and takes time. Subtle reminders are good… and I really worry about the germs and choking…

Figure out what you need to do to be more charming and less mouthy…

https://submrs.com/submissive-charm-little-kaninchen/?no_frame=1

Charm | A Charming submissive | Little Kaninchen