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Playing at a Club
I have recently become very curious about visiting a bdsm club. I have been reading the Masters of Shadowlands series and it has really sparked my interest.
There is a private club just a couple hours away from us. My Sir is a bit apprehensive but did not say no to the idea.
Have any of you played at a club before? If so, would you be so kind as to share your experience?
I realize it will be somewhat different than the books and I’m wondering what to expect.
Thanks so much! -
6 Replies
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Lovely Lady, I have no personal experience yet but this is something Sir and I have been discussing ourselves. We found a local group that has vanilla meet and greets along with not so vanilla gatherings and we have decided our next date night will probably entail and visit to one of these meet and greets to get us started. I think for us right now it is more about the learning and seeing what’s out there more then playing, but I think if we continued down that path that would change over time.
In any case I am interested to hear others experiences myself.
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Schatzi, thanks for the reply! I am hoping my Sir will come around and be more comfortable with it. The club near us has an intro night of sorts for people interested in joining. I also found a couple of groups that meet near us for munches and stuff but my Sir can be so shy around new people, I’m not sure if I could get him to go to that. I may have to go to a couple on my own at first.
I currently more set on the club experiences though. It would be so amazing to have all of that fun equipment available to use!
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This is a great topic. Sir Hamlet and I spent a weekend in New Orleans and happened into a club of sorts. We had a great time and both got very excited about joining something when we got home. After that trip we went to Mexico and decided to try and find the same thing… We did find a club of sorts which defied everything I have been reading. This was more of a swingers club unbeknownst to us when we went. What turned me off was the lack of communication. I didn’t feel safe and nor was the play consensual. So after both those experiences one great fun and one not so much I have lost my excitement to go to our local club. Sir Hamlet cannot wait to join and as we talk through my reservations I’m becoming more and more open to the idea. They are having a gathering right after the holiday and if we go I’ll give you another report.
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My Sir and I are also discussing attending a local munch for a kinksters group. This intro munch could lead to more into to the group and eventually to a play party or private dungeon. Not sure exactly the details but it sounds very adventurous. Sir wants to experience a private room in a dungeon, particularly a St. Andrew’s cross. I am trying to open up to the idea of this so the journey should get more interesting.
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We have done several things in terms of club play and munches. My husband discovered a local swingers club that greatly interested him and brought it to me but I was not comfortable with the idea. A few months went by and I had done more research/homework. I found one local bdsm group with a very active calendar. They have munches 3 Tuesdays per month, sloshes, and happy hours a couple times a month and all of these are vanilla meet and greets with varying levels of alcohol consumption. They also have gatherings specific to demonstrations and round table discussions. We went to a meet and greet that was literally called something like “New to This” which was hosted by two very experienced subs and was a small group where good discussion could actually happen. The munches are a bit overwhelming because there are so many people (100-ish), however both Tuesday munches we went to we purposely sought out others to talk with and learn from. We joined the swingers club since it is a private club and went the weekend before they were going to host the bdsm group so that we could learn and determine if we were comfortable. The first time we went we agreed to no alcohol so that we would be fully aware of everything. We also agreed not to play with anyone else. The club’s protocol is to have an experienced couple give you a tour on your first night. We found this very helpful. Everyone was very friendly. They only have one room set up with a bed that has tie downs and this room has a window that can have its blinds open or closed. We have loved playing in that room! We went back the next weekend when the bdsm group was there. The group held many demos. Rope, other restraints, spanking, electrical, etc.
Both groups have been very friendly and willing to share their knowledge. We have been encouraged to ask questions. With both groups it was made clear from the beginning that “No means no.” The swingers group also made it clear that the woman has the final say. The bdsm group made it clear that the sub is really in control. We felt very safe and secure in all environments and knew that no one would push us to do anything we didn’t want to do. Participating by only observing and respectfully asking questions was encouraged.
We have been participating in these groups since October and are looking at traveling to another club a few hours away soon.
If you want to talk more about our specific experiences let me know. I’m happy to respond here or via PM
kc -
That’s really interesting, KC! Thank you for sharing your experience.
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