No birth control + D/s = ?

[collette]

We don’t use birth control as well, but due to my hormone issues I’ve never been able to track a cycle as needed for Creighton or other forms of NFP. If we are placing a gap between children and want to avoid pregnancy then we also wait longer periods between play and aim for play either during or right after a period (sorry if that’s TMI). It’s not a fail-proof method but it does work for us; we did have a 5 year gap between our last two children with that approach. (Again, it’s not 100% and I’m sure it’s far less accurate than Creighton…so I’m not necessarily recommending it.) But, yes, it can be frustrating, especially if he is using the long sexual gap as a bit of a torture method. Aside from the lack of sex, which makes sense if you are avoiding pregnancy, is there another reason for orgasm denial? Play can be done with non-sexual orgasms unless you have a reason not to. Have you considered anal sex instead of vaginal?

As far as the frustration – it kind of comes with the territory. For us sex is becoming more infrequent but the quality is so much better. It’s so much for fulfilling. I try to focus on how worth the wait it will be. If it’s too much of an issue with you and your husband then I’d say that having some Downtime for you to bring your concerns up is well called for – let him know how the frustration is making you feel.

Does any of that help? I’m not sure I’m answering your question…. but I hope it helps!

[Unknown Member]

Hi Collette!

It’s great to know that we’re in the same (similar?) boat 🙂

I have major hormone issues (PCOS & insulin resistance) and I’m using the Creghton Method to treat the cause of my hormonal issues by going to a NaProTechnology trained physician (like a GP). My cycles are slowly regulating (but not fast enough for my impatient self lol) even though I’ve only been at it for less than a month. (http://www.naprotechnology.com/) Perhaps your health could benefit by going down this path too? There are medical treatments (non-contraceptives or abortifactants) for hormonal issues like ours that make natural family planning so so hard without medical interventions. For example, I’m on metformin to treat my insuliun resistance which according to blood tests is causing my PCOS which is causing my weird cycles.

I really hate anal so that’s not really an option for us (unless it’s for punishment :s). The orgasm denial is apparently for his pleasure (because he has a sadistic streak)

Downtime is a good idea though! I might have to revisit the topic with M 🙂

Thanks so much for your reply! I feel less alone in this now 😀

Hoping you are well,
Kitty

[collette]

You are most welcome. 🙂 Nice to meet you. 😀

I’m glad to know it’s working for you! I’ve only been to one doctor about my issues and haven’t really felt the need to pursue further treatment. I got lost trying to learn NFP even though our diocese offers lots of very informative classes so we decided to go sans NFP. The gyno didn’t think there was much to be done for me anyhow and as long as I’m not at risk for cancer or another physical issue she thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie. The whole “metformin to treat insuliun resistance, which is causing PCOS, which is causing weird cycles” sounds too familiar – I have friends that are going through the exact same thing. 🙁 But I’m glad that things are starting to regulate for you!

Good luck with the Downtime! Report back to us and let us know if you are able to work out a solution – I’m sure this thread will be helpful to other people in the future! (And most possibly to my own future self!)

[Unknown Member]

So just had some downtime with M… And the conclusion is that OD is not negotiable (even though M is well aware of my frustration).

I think it’s a reasonable conclusion as OD only lasts for a max of 2 weeks so far (which is not that unreasonable but still pretty difficult to get through the 2 weeks for me). After talking through it with M I realise that a large part of my frustration comes from me wanting to get the release instead of waiting for when I’m allowed to have one. So I’ll have to work on submitting more in this area in order to cope with OD in a more positive way 🙂

Thanks for listening!