• Need help with sub mindset

    Posted by thatgirl on at

    I am trying so hard to not feel discouraged.
    I need help getting into a better sub mindset. I keep finding myself getting bratty and I dont want to be that way.
    I have read that the best way to help your partner find their Dom is through your own actions. I am trying to change me before expecting much of anything from him. I want him to see not only how much I want this but also what he will get out of this too. So that maybe some day he will want it as much as me. I just need help with not wanting to feel discouraged or beat my head off a wall when things arent going the way I expect them to. I know it’s my own expectations that are screwing my brain and emotions up. I just dont know how to let them go. Or to let my best subbie self out. (75% of this is meant in a “outside the bedroom” atmosphere). Thank you for any advice you have.

    kleine.CGH replied 5 years, 4 months ago 3 Members · 2 Replies
  • 2 Replies
  • minx-prema

    Member
    at

    Hey hey! Thanks for posting. We are 24/7 and I was submissive outside of the bedroom before becoming submissive in the bedroom. It sounds like your wanting more and he just isn’t there yet. As a result, you are getting discouraged and not submitting like you want to. Is that a fair summary? Something that may help your submissive mindset is making a list of 100 things you are thankful for about your Sir and they can’t repeat. Then, if you are home before he is, or in the morning before starting your day, kneel and think through your list of what you love and appreciate about him. As you focus on your mindset towards him positively, you may find submission outside the bedroom come so much easier. It’s very difficult to get discouraged when you are focusing on all the growth and positive things you love and appreciate about your Sir.

  • kleine.CGH

    Member
    at

    Hi ThatGirl, I’m Kleine. I haven’t had the privilege of meeting you on chat yet. I looked forward to changing that. Your frustration is so familiar I wanted to comment. This month marks 2yrs D/s-M for my Sir and I. The fact that you recognize that the only person you have the power to change is you is a huge step! You are on the right path. Cling to those foundations and your D/s-M will cummm 😉 Learning to let go has been a hard one. I’m a control freak with my own ideas how everything should be. It has only been this past 6 months I’ve only started to understand what it means to truly let go. That fear is so real. But the reward has been so much more! To fly in his arms. Communication trust respect and love will get you where you want to be.

    Best Wishes
    XOXO
    Kleine

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