-
My Journey …… over the moon
I joined subMrs two weeks ago and its been the best decision. I love this group so much. Heres my background, i met my husband in college our freshman year and we've been together ever since. This summer we will have been married for 23 years. We have two boys one is 19 and in college and our youngest is almost 17 and a Junior in Hs. I've always had submissive tendencies but never understood them or understood what i actually needed. In my family Ive always been the one who put everyone before herself and over the years it just beat me down. My husband and I have always loved each other and been best friends, but at times more friends than lovers just going through the motions. About a year ago after doing a lot of reading and soul searching i came to my husband about us entering a D/s-M relationship. He immediately said no he didnt think he could do that with me. I understood and wasnt going to push him, he's a very determined man. At the same time my husband pushed me to see a therapist bc there was a lot stuff i was dealing with my family (my father had died 4 years ago suddenly and my mother was not dealing well at all and the pressure i was under was slowly destroying me)So my husband kept pushing till I eventually saw someone. It was the best decision ever. It was so amazing how i slowly regained who i used to be, the confidence, i didnt hate myself anymore and my capacity to let my husband back in was crazy. I didnt realize how much I had pulled away from him emotionally. Hes the best, he never left my side through all the rough years and loved me no matter what. Then around the end of December he came to me and told me that he wanted to be my Dom. I was shocked to say the least. He was so serious that he spent weeks working on a contract laying out his roles and my roles. I was speechless at first and then of course the tears started to flow. We sat in our room with candles lit and talked and at the end signed the contract, it was so surreal. Then he found this website for me so that i could have others to share and talk with and learn. He also joined HusDom. He choose my name for the website of I.am.His and he goes by She.is.Mine. Sunday i was on the chat and was very nervous because we were going to have our first Down Time. I had been reading all the blogs about it, but was still confused on how it could be so soul changing as others described. My Syr and I talk alot and are very open and honest now. I wasn't sure how this would be different. Well I was so wrong! Our first DT was amazing kneeling at his feet laying my head on his knee was so freeing. I never thought it could feel so life changing but it was. We sat like that for over an hour talking and sharing and listening to one another. Syr shared with me the reason he said NO when i brought up a D/s-M relationship wasnt because he didn't want to do it but was because he knew i wasn't ready. Thats why he pushed therapy so that i could heal and become the person i was meant to be for myself, my family and for Syr. I know this is long, but thank you for all that helped my on Sunday nights chat. -
5 Replies
-
What a lovely story and what an amazing Sir you have! Welcome to the site.
-
What a beautiful story💕story thankyou so much for sharing I loved reading it. Such a peaceful place at his feet with your head in his lap. I wish you all the best in your journey. And so glad you are here😊
Jsbunny -
Thank you for sharing. I love the story of growth! Welcome to this little slice of subbie support heaven!
star -
I.Am.His,
It sounds like you have an amazing husDom who loves you dearly. I am so glad your Syr connected you with us. Downtime is so magical. If only I had a dollar every time a new subbie told me that they “always talk” and do not see the need for Downtime. It is really hard to explain the emotions and rawness that just naturally occurs when you are in Downtime. You just have to experience it and I am so thrilled you did! Continue to make this a routine ritual and you will find that your D|s-M will continue to flourish.
Talk to you soon!
~ subMarie -
Welcome! So glad you are here!
Log in to reply.