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Missing you ladies
I just wanted to pop in quickly to say hello and give a quick update.
Basically the long and short of it is I wrapped up my semester at school, became addicted to Cherise Sinclair, had my mil in town, and then gave birth to a lovely little girl. 🙂
Now we’re in the postpartum phase of things, and am feeling a little lost. My birth went amazingly, and so physically things have been perfect. I’m currently having a little trouble with getting my milk regulated, which has already resulted in a plugged duct, and has my midwife concerned that I might be at an increased risk for another plug or mastitis. So, beyond the usual take it easy for however long, my midwife wants me to basically stay in bed to sleep and nurse. This is great and dandy, but I am very much a domestic submissive. I thrive on Mister giving me tasks and knowing that I’m being productive and whatnot. Right now I feel absolutely useless. All I’m doing is laying around, when I want to get back to my usual routine. Mister keeps insisting that I relax, because right now he wants me to focus on figuring out nursing and healing up. While I understand, it isn’t changing much. I think I’m a little concerned that our D/s is going to suffer like it did at the beginning of this pregnancy. I’m going to request downtime tonight to talk about this. I’m just curious to know what you ladies did during this time when it feels as though there is nothing you can really do for your Sir.
Thanks!!
MK -
2 Replies
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Having had 7 babies I can completely relate to your frustration. While we were not D/s at the time I have always been a full time homemaker since we brought our first home and I thrived on taking care of my family. I think for you part of this is a mindset; how you choose to look at this. You are a domestic submissive which means one thing when you are not immediately postpartum in terms of the type of tasks Mister gives you. Right now you have a different set of tasks. You are still a domestic submissive. What is more domestic than taking care of your beautiful new daughter? Who else could give her your precious mother’s milk and nourish her so completely? May I respectfully suggest that in your downtime you ask Mister to give you this as a daily task. You knowing that he needs you to do this and requires you to do this will help you.
If I remember this little Miss is not your first child so you probably already know this, but … when pregnant we only need 300 calories more than when not pregnant to grow a healthy baby… when nursing we need 500 more calories, and lots of water, and lots of rest. If we are missing any of those three we are not able to nourish our babies as best we can. Or heal ourselves. Taking care of your little Miss is a FULL TIME JOB. And it begins with you taking care of you.
You are taking care of your Mister when you are taking care of you!!
Other thoughts to keep in mind… Little Miss is about a week old so you only have about 5 weeks left before you’re cleared for action. You are ~16% of the way there 🙂 In another week you will have probably twice the energy you have now and be one third of the way to action. At that time you will probably be able to resume doing some … only some, but still some … of the tasks you enjoy doing for Mister. I’m a math teacher so humor me: 2 weeks postpartum = 33% total postpartum and 2 weeks of pregnancy = 5% total pregnancy. Hmmmm, looking at the numbers you’ll be over 6 times further along soon 😉
If there is anything I can do for you don’t hesitate to PM me. I have over 9 years of breast feeding experience and I’ve also survived baby blues, postpartum depression and two bouts of severe postpartum depression. I’ve been free and clear for 7+ years so I can speak to getting through it.
Hope your healing is speedy!
~FG -
Thank you so much for replying, this was exactly what I needed to hear (read?). I read your reply to Mister, and he said this is exactly what he has been trying to tell me. I guess we weren’t communicating very clearly. He has started put nursing and resting as part of my tasks, and he’s starting to add more things, which is nice. It took a little while to get used to it, but I’ve enjoyed taking this time to get to know her without having too many other things to focus on.
Oh, I remember the calories needed from when I nursed my son! I was quite surprised at the number! With him I remember being absolutely famished, but I haven’t been nearly as hungry this time. I’m still making sure I get the calories in, though.
I loved your math breakdown. ^_^ I didn’t know you teach! I’m working on my teaching degree, and although intellectually I know there have to be SOME teachers that practice D/s-M, it’s nice to actually see it.
I will definitely get in touch if I have any issues. We’ve gotten through the engorgement problem and have perfected her latch, so so far so good! I had some issues with ppd and anxiety last time, but so far I seem to be doing okay this time. Fingers crossed it stays that way.
Thank you for taking the time to reply!
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