• Posted by hislittlebear on at

    Hi! I am Little Bear. I have been married to my Husdom for 11 years but only discovered this 2.5 years ago. It was really great, and we had never been so happy. We had been unable to start a family for a very long time and we had just reconciled that maybe it would be just us two and that would be great. Amazingly after 6months into being his Submissive we found out I was pregnant. It was really great news. Unfortunately with the side effects of the pregnancy, a tricky deliver plus the arrival of our baby, we completely lost the dynamic and have become vanilla again. I really want to reconnect as I can see that it is taking a toll on my Husdom as he really wants to get back to how we were but am not sure how as so much has changed and we are soooo tired all the time. Anyhow I will be looking back at some of the posts I found useful again. Thanks for reading! Little Bear x

    hislittlebear replied 5 years, 5 months ago 6 Members · 10 Replies
  • 10 Replies
  • wench-Mentor-buck

    Member
    at

    Congratulations on the little one. A baby changes a lot of things, but I am confident you can revive the dynamic. I recommend starting slow- take one thing and do that and when that is working well, add to it. Like in the very beginning except you already have the advantage of knowing some things that worked/or didn’t work for you. Maybe kneeling for him before bed, him opening doors for you,- any of the things that were a part of your routine before baby. Has your husDOM been able to reconnect on site? We have a few new parents here who may be willing to share what they have done to get back into dynamic after a baby.
    I will check back and hope to hear all about you getting back on track.
    It is hard not to rush, but take it slow and steady.

    Good luck
    Wench

    • hislittlebear

      Member
      at

      Thank you Wench and Hisgirl! Those are really helpful tips. I will definitely try doing one thing and adding on. Also schedule downtime otherwise it’s really easy to let everything else just take over!
      Little Bear

  • HisgirlCGL

    Member
    at

    Welcum back HLB! Congrats on the little one. You are sure to get some suggestions from other subbies with young children. I can’t help you in that aspect but I do know what its like to let vanilla creep back in. Wench had done great suggestions for you. I would add that try to carve out a little bit if time where you and your Sir can focus solely on your dynamic. Schedule Downtime and use that first one to tell each other the thing that you miss most about D/s-M. Then set a plan to start bringing those things back slowly. Hope to see you on chat soon! HG 🙂

  • Angelica-BigOne

    Member
    at

    Welcome back, Little Bear. 🙂 I can completely relate to kids and “vanilla” pressure taking a toll on our dynamic. It took Sir and I a good chunk of years to recognize the damage we were doing in not living our D/s lives. I’m so glad you have found your way back so quickly. I have 4 kiddos, so I am here if you need any advice on navigating D/s M with Mommy life. Congratulations. 🙂

    • hislittlebear

      Member
      at

      Thanks Angelica! I will definitely have questions! Just even things like sounds.

      Little Bear

  • Welcome back LB. We had a tough time with our D/s-M when the kids were young. They were sooooo distracting! LOL. But now they are grown and we are living the dream. I wish you luck in getting your dynamic back after the wee one’s arrival. I am sure there are plenty of posts here to help.

    warmly
    elskling

    • hislittlebear

      Member
      at

      Thank you Elskling. Yes I think it will be tricky as it seems to one thing after another 😊 ! Little Bear

  • lossoprema-mr-m

    Member
    at

    Welcome back! I have five kiddos (14yo down to 5yo) and I’m happy to brainstorm ideas as well!

    We have a house rule that you NEVER open a closed door (you knock and wait for permission), and we have a very small barrel lock on the inside of the master bedroom door just in case any of the kids forgets.

    We’re lucky that the master bedroom is at one end of the house and the childrens’ rooms are at the other, but it’s a small house and little kids sometimes decide they’re rather sleep on the living room couch so we also have white noise machines running in each bedroom (the “thunderstorm” and “ocean” settings on ours work really well) to help reduce “noise” 😉

    It’s really hard, and I know I’ve slipped into vanilla for years at a time (and suffered for it), but with effort and creativity… You can do it!

    • hislittlebear

      Member
      at

      Thanks Iosso! I think we will definitely need to put in a lock on our room. Our house is very small too and she is next door to us 🤦🏻‍♀️😬! I think it’s going to be a challenge but we are just so much better when we are not vanilla! Thanks for the tips!

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