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Is chivalry a Dom thing, a sub thing, neither, both?
Hi all,
In “First Downtime” MyLittle says she was surprised that when they entered D/s, her Dom suddenly started opening doors for her. I’ve seen elsewhere a sub wife say something similar, that when they entered a D/s lifestyle her Dom husband was suddenly much more chivalrous. But OTOH, I know that the past few months I have found myself hurrying to open doors for C, pulling out chairs for her, holding her coat, etc, and I’ve read other male subs saying much the same, that the public face of their submission looks to all the world like good old chivalry. It’s just curious to me that the same action – opening a door for a wife – is in one case seen as a sign of dominance and in another as a form of submission.
In my case I can say this is a return to form from very early in our relationship. When we were first dating I did all these things (indeed C trained me to do so back then – I remember her one time chewing me out for not opening her car door first before going around to my side), but then, you know, life happened. We get a little tired and lazy, fall out of those habits, not really trying to impress anymore. So maybe chivalry isn’t a D/s thing at all, but rather just a characteristic of new relationships, and introducing D/s reinvigorates the newness of the relationship (hopefully permanently)?
I dunno. Any thoughts?
B
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3 Replies
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I think you are right. When i first met my husband he did all the things we call today him being my Dom out in public. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, ordering my food. He was my protector back then and yes life happened and we got lazy.
Yes since starting our journey we are doing all the things we used to do, but better. With more purpose.
I.am.His
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First let me say how much I love this topic. I think its true that in the beginning of a relationship your trying to impress and put your best foot forward. When renewing your relationship like adding Dsm it starts all over again. I find it interesting that chivalry can be viewed as both sub and Dom, I totally see it. For me I think it’s the actions of a man showing respect and caring. Whether it’s a Dom looking after his sub or a sub caring for his Domme, it’s a man, a gentleman caring for the person he loves and adores. Maybe it’s not a sub OR Dom thing, maybe it’s a wonderful man thing. Just my 2 cents.
Jsbunny
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Great topic! I think chivalry is all about respect, no matter which side of a D/S relationship you’re on. Showing respect for the other person by opening doors and thinking of them first by your actions are ways to show dominance or submission. Either way, it’s great and I so appreciate my Sir training me to wait for him to serve me in opening doors. Love it!
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