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I will not be ashamed!
I posted this link about traditional marriage on facebook. It is an interesting read. Though I do think some of the “suggestions” are a bit much, the general idea of the article is to show respect for the husband as the master of the home: to serve his needs, appreciate him, and demonstrate a desire to make his life easier however you can. To be honest, I fully expected my facebook to blow up with disgruntled feminism and I was prepared to take a stance in defense of the respect-based marital approach that we have found here on subMrs. I was surprised that I did not have push back AT ALL! Instead, it sparked a really great discussion regarding the traditional roles of submitting to and respecting one’s husband as the head of the home. This has reinforced for me how RIGHT this lifestyle is. Wives of the world want D/s M. They just don’t know what it’s called yet.
This sparked an interesting discussion with my HusDom. Over the weekend he had me wear my day collar out in public several times. This particular collar looks very much like a collar. It has a leash ring in the front and is very heavy. To me, it is obviously not a necklace, unlike my other day collars. I found myself shrinking away from people, walking quickly ahead of Sir, turning myself away from crowds so they couldn’t see me. I realized that I was ashamed of my collar. Not the collar itself, or of my Sir, but of the perceived “wrongness” of this lifestyle. I was a little stunned, but it was a good realization to have. We unpacked it and discussed a bit. We talked about the ingrained attitudes I have about D/s. The stigma of it being sinful, dark, twisted, sick. We again talked about how DIFFERENT D/s M is from what the world may imagine when the words Dominance and submission are used. The principles that we have learned here are GOOD. Any vanilla marriage would benefit from the increase in respect, communication, intimacy, and love. Most marriages could use a little boost in the sex area, too! The kink part of D/s M….the whips, paddles, bondage, complete and utter surrender of my body and mind. Well, that is fun…and I LOVE that part. It happens to be a huge turn on for Sir and I when he spanks and flogs me until my mind lets go of my body and then I have marks for weeks to remember it. However, the kink is NOT what D/s M is about. I wish I could show the wives of the world. You don’t have to be “kinky” to practice D/s M. Respect your husbands, communicate honestly, develop your marriage into something that you BOTH want it to be, speak your truth and your hearts to one another and learn how to serve one another’s needs. You don’t have to be into paddles to do that.
For me, that is what this article speaks to. In today’s self-focused, entitled, rude, disrespectful and disdainful society, can we go back to a time when our husbands, our families, our relationships are the most important thing? I think we can, subMrs.
Here is the article:
This ‘Good Wife’s Guide’ From The 1950s Explains How Women Should Treat Their Husbands
source: The Telegraph
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
source: Girls Chase
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
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Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
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Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
source: Pinterest
- Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
source: The Vintage Housewife
- Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
source: The Life of Liz
- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
source: Master File
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Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
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Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
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A good wife always knows her place.
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1 Reply
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I really enjoyed reading this post Angelica thankyou. I very much enjoy the traditional style of marriage. While I do work outside the home, I try to maintain as much traditional style to our home as possible. Its not surprising that when you take a little time to show your Sir he’s important to you, he then takes the time too. I find it brings us together and reaffirms everything.
On a side note, I also had a moment of trepidation when I was first collared. My first day collar was a chain choker with an o-ring on the front. I felt like everyone was looking and knew. It took a few times out to realize that no one noticed it or knew anything. I’ve gone through a few collars since then and have only gotten a handful of comments over many years.
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