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I want to RUN!
“Sir, I want to Run!”….. “No, little belle, first I must teach you to walk”…..”But Sir, I need to Run!”…..”little belle, you must be patient and trust me, I will not let us fall or miss a step going up the hill”………”Yes Sir, I understand. But I still want to Run.”
Patience. They say it is a virtue. But sometimes it seems like a neusence. I know He has us. I know this! But I must remind myself of this. There is soooooo much I want to experience. So many fun things, and I feel like a kid in a candy shop! I just want to lick the lollipop!! Hehe. But I know he is right. Every step we take forward He wants to make sure that the ground is solid and will not fall.
It is so easy for us as subs to be impatient. To push and push forward and wish our Sirs would run and carry us so we could fly. It is so easy to forget how important the basics, and the foundation are. It is Soooooo easy to forget how far you’ve come as a Dom and sub since the beginning. So easy to forget how much your Sir has done for you, and how far He has come to make your dreams come true. How amazing He is for accepting you fully for Who You Really Are, and all that He sees you could be.
Last night I tested my Sirs patience with me. You see, I forgot to look behind me and see the solid ground that Sir has built. The road that will never crumble, and how long that road has become. I turned vanilla. It is devastating to me to admit that but I did. I challenged Him, and I questioned Him. Instead of seing how much He has done for us, I focused on how much He has not done. It wasnt fair. It was selfish of me and I hate that I made Him feel any of it for even a second. But through it all, my Kaiser was amazing. Never leaving me, never making fun of me, never getting angry. He listened and knew I needed to rethink my thoughts. I woke up today and meditated. I told myself to find 5 positive things about our D/s. Then 5 things that He has changed and made better since our formal acceptance, months ago. I realized I have not been very positive. Only focusing on the negative. But no more! KLB is back into a positive frame of mind! Because “Nothing new can come into your life until you are Greatful for what you have Now”.
I just felt I should share my experience, especially for the new subbies, to show you how common that feeling of wanting to Run is! It is so hard to walk along side your Sir and be patient. But it is worth it. All good things are worth the wait. Work on your foundation, build the strongest road and home that you can! Help guide and be His first mate, but also trust that He has you and will not let you fall. I hope my experience can help another sub out there…….. hang in there and don’t give up, this dynamic is so worh it.
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10 Replies
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KLB….such a great reminder to all of us. Find the positive in those we love everyday and share it. Thank you for the great reminder!
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Thank you for sharing and your Kaiser did really well. He is a Dom to be proud of.
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Thank you ladies! Yes, Sir is a wonderful man. And wouldnt ya know, the second I have completely let go, Sir has stepped up even more! Goes to show us that its best when we guide, but don’t direct. And when we trust our Sirs, and give them the patience they deserve.
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KLB,
Thank you for reminding me on how new I am to this world and that I am very impatient and the damage that I could cause. It is so hard when I don’t think Sir is moving fast enough for me. I am very impatient and I need to work on this. -
Yes, thank you LKB for sharing. Being new to this life, it’s a comfort to know that even those with more experience will at times fall back and need reminding of who we are and what we need. Staying mindful seems to be my biggest hurdle right now. Sir and i are always on the go with this activity or that, some days i get so caught up in my daily to-do list that i forget what matters most. My Sir is an extremely patient and caring man, he’s always reminding me that we are here together and we will grow together. It’s such an amazing feeling to know that he’s always there encouraging me to be the very best i can be.
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Carissimi and Son Amour,
Yes easy to forget, but once you remember it makes such a difference in your D/s. I know in my situation, I asked Him for this and so now I owe it to Him to give him my trust and patience that we are going where He wants us to go. Not necessarily where I want us to go or where I want us to be, but now His fantasy and vision of our next perfect D/s step to build our amazing house that will never fall.
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KLB, your story resonates with me. I was shy about the D/s lifestyle at first and now it seems that I am going full speed ahead when my Sir is saying “slow down girl”. I just get so excited now about new things, experiences, adventures when I need to slow down and work on the foundation so that the other things will have a firm ground to build on. So I too search my heart and soul for the patience that is needed for our wonderful dynamic. I often remind myself that as a D/s-M married for almost 20 years that we still have the rest of our lives in this beautiful journey.
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Thank you for your post! As some of the others who’ve replied, we are also new to this lifestyle, though married for 13 years. Our whole marriage, Sir has always had to remind me to slow down, be more patient, and take time to enjoy life.
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Thank you KLB. I have a feeling I will come back and read this many times in the weeks, maybe months ahead.
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I thank you, KLB it is so timely, I get so impatient wanting to run, when my Sir is still learning too! My patience is growing and my use of the SOAP principle is growing! Thanks again KLB for this post.
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