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How to restart when life has been hard.
I feel like I know what most of you will say: you have to begin again. Ask for his dominance, downtime, journaling, meditation … all the things that we build on. And those are absolute musts, I really do understand and agree. I’m wondering, though, if anyone has any additional suggestions or tips? It’s been a hell of a year for everyone, not just for us, so I thought you might have a tip or two that really helped you both push through the vanilla to find yourselves again. Thanks so much! K
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2 Replies
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I don’t know if I have any “pearls” of wisdom so to speak. I just know what works for us. For me, it always comes down to how bad do I want it. It starts with me because I only have control over myself. One thing I do know is that the method and things suggested on subMrs really do work. The best thing I did was read, ask questions and get involved. It really does work. The more I talked to the other ladies and sat in on zoom chats, the better it was for me. It can be hard but so worth it. Just don’t stop. Please let me know if you have any questions. We really are here to help.
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We were on a hiatus for about 4 years before we came back to it, and I can say that this time it’s better than ever. More real. More deep. More sustainable. Maybe not as kick-butt blow your socks off as the first all-in, deep dive, but really good. My perhaps slightly out of the box suggestions would be to make sure the timing is right – do you have space in your lives for it, are you able to be together a fair bit to at least get the ball rolling, do you both want it? And the other thing would be to start small. We restarted at a fraction of the rules, rituals, expectations that we had previously had but what we did we did together and with patience and grace and it helped to build things much more solidly.
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