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How to do D/s and being Deaf/ HOH in the real world
So with some encouragement from LK and LT ( thanks ladies) I decided to write a little something up about D/s lifestyle when you are HOH (hard of hearing) or Deaf. Mind you as I write this Sir and I are just in the beginning stages of D/s. Also I know that there are not many on here that are HOH or Deaf, but in case there ever was or if your just curious I thought I would explain how it works for Sir and I. I usually always wear my hearing aides during playtime.
I must start by saying I have never been about to hear “normally”. I have no concept of what normal hearing is. I rely on hearing aides to hear speech and with out them I either can’t hear you at all or you sound like the adults on Charlie Brown with a few audible words thrown in. Either way it gets frustrating. I went 31 years with out hearing aides so having them now is amazing. You will need to understand something though. I still don’t hear “normally” even with the aides. This is a miss conception by most people. Unlike glasses, hearing aides can not fully correct hearing loss. They just make it easier to be in certain situations.
Now how does this affect our D/s…..Glad you asked. In most situations it doesn’t. Ours is probably very similar to yours. A few things are just tweaked shall we say. Here is where….
1. I can not in anyway be punished for not responding to a command by Sir during play. Let me explain….If I were in a waiting position, kneeling sitting back on my heels, head tilted down. Sir comes in and from a few feet away asks me to come to him and I don’t move. He would not see this as being disrespectful or bratty. I most likely didn’t hear the command as I am not looking at him. So here is how we fix this situation for us….I am in same position but now when Sir comes in he will walk close enough to me to where I can see his feet so I know he is ready for me. I wait a few seconds then look up to await his direction.
2. During play…. Since we are new and still learning Sir needs my input at times to make sure he is not pushing to soon to fast. I am his co pilot, so for now he needs my input more often. If asked a question he will either get closer to my ear if position allows or say “understood” after a request is made. He is paying more attention to my responses and I am paying more attention to his approach. By doing this we focus more on the visual cues we both give off during play.
3. I am so far never blind folded during play with out my aides in. This is a personal preference as I have a hard time when my sight and hearing is gone. We are working through this slowly. I just get a bit panicky when both senses are gone, it has nothing to do with Sir though.
4. Music does not have the same effect on our play as it may on yours. You hear a song and are moved by it. The beat, the words, the flow and rhythm all probably conjure up wonderful feelings and emotions for you. They take you back so to speak to maybe your last playtime with your Sir. I can’t hear it. I feel the beat and hear the bass but the song itself does not effect me the same way.
5. My greatest sense during play is touch. Even hours after playtime I can still feel the crop on my skin, a passionate kiss, a gentle caress, it all lingers. Sir knows this and touches often. Even when not in the bedroom. A touch resonates way more deeply with me then words. I tell by his touch what his mood is, playful, serious, teasing, you name it. Words can be miss interpreted.
Well I will end with that. I hope it gives you a glimpse of how we alter our dynamic to accommodate my hearing loss. I just wanted to be able to share how we do ttwd. Remember, make it yours. Do not compare or worry you are not doing it just like everyone else, for you are not everyone else.
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6 Replies
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Beautifully written, HL! Thank hou for sharing! It was wonderful to get a glimpse of how your dynamic works and it sounds lovely. Thank you for being such an inspiration.
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hislove, Thank you so much for sharing! This is really interesting and insightful for me. It sounds as though you and your Sir are working through things and that you have a very close bond. I love the different perspectives that everyone shares here on LK’s site.
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His love this is amazing lady and thank you for sharing it with us and I believe this will help many. We listen to music sometimes when we play but when I do it is the the beat that drives my breathing and Sirs arm when using an implement. Also I been with Sir going on 36 years and I rely on looking at his eyes because they tell me all than what he could ever say with words. Even though I love the dirty talk, it’s the emotion in one’s eye’s that seal the deal for me. Thank you again lady xoxoxoxoxox
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His Love – Thank you for sharing this with us. It is lovely to hear how the dynamic works for other D/s couples. It is even more special to hear how you and your Sir have adjusted as you need to and have not let anything hold you back on your journey. Thank you again for sharing!
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His Love thank you for sharing… your journey sounds incredible and I love how your touch is your most important.. we all have our things we need to work through and thank you for sharing how your dynamic works when one our senses are compromised. Your information will be so helpful for someone with the same issue. Thank you again for allowing us to peek into your dynmic!!
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His Love,
What an amazing glimpse into your dynamic with your Sir.. You truly make your dynamic your own and that makes it so much more special! Thanks for sharing lady..❤️SSB
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