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First scene, kinda….emotional
So I’m very new to the D/s lifestyle. I want it. Over the years we’ve dabbled in handcuffs and spanking/pinching and I’ve loved it. We’ve always had issues with sex, my drive being low, his high but always on my terms.
Black Friday had me buying new toys and I got reading and told my husband I want to try this. We’d start just bedroom play. We had a couple great starters with new straps around the bed and a crop. Cue ecstasy.
So last night I was instructed to buy a flogger, new toy etc.
I came home, told to shower, given clothes to put on and a blindfold.
He tied up my arms, put on the nipples clamps, used the flogger, felt me up..all things I’d love. I was pretty nervous being all out there, naked, tied up standing vs laying on the bed. Made me kneel, sick his dick. Then released me, had me bend over a chair and he used some toys and finally I became aroused and had to beg him to let me cum.
After I stood up and totally felt woozy then started bawling. So I’m guessing this is from the mood, one extreme to the next? Being scared (I trust him with my soul) to being completely overloaded with pleasure. After care with him is sweet, he’s very concerned. Now he wants to back off a bit.
I’ve given him this control because I run everything else in our life. I feel that our sex life was not good because unless I wanted it, he got zilch.
Was the mistake not talking about what we were going to do? Planning it out? At no part during did I want to stop, I wanted to ride it all out.
Certainly has brought us closer and he’s so much happier.
Sorry for the babble. This is all overwhelming for both of us.
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5 Replies
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Janice, when you felt nervous was it nervous excitement or nervous scared? In hindsight, did you enjoy feeling that way or is it something you don’t want to feel again? Only you can determine what you like, what you want to endure. I definitely suggest journaling about this as well as talking it through with your Sir in downtime. Would receiving instructions or a game plan before be something that would make you more comfortable or able to enjoy things more? That is certainly common though try not to measure yourself against someone else’s yardstick. It’s not really about what is “normal” but about the two of you specifically.
Big floods of emotion are very common. There is so much adrenaline and it can be a very cathartic experience. Not necessarily bad or good – that part is up to you. Sometimes things affect us in a completely different way than we imagined or planned. And sometimes it just depends on the day and what else is going on in your life.
A first scene is a big deal! We had our first big scene about a month ago and I felt so jittery and nervous leading up to it, I found myself thinking of excuses or reasons to back out even though I very much wanted to do it. Just butterfly nerves was all.
Maybe you need to back off, or maybe you just need extra doses of aftercare (aftercare is not just immediately after but also the days afterward, whenever and however long it is needed for), or maybe try a different way of doing things. Its a journey, not a destination!
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Thank you so much.
Now how do I change my name on here!!?? I didn’t realize it would show my full name!
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Hi there!
It sounds like you had quite the emotional release. I love it when that happens. I feel completely reset. It is like you just let go of a ton of stress. My husDom loves that he can take me there.
To update your profile name, just go back into your profile (click on your photo at the top). Once on your “page” click on “profile”, next to the “activity” icon. Now select Edit.
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I had that happen once and it was early in our D/s-M journey, so I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I was restrained but not in any pain, and I started crying and couldn’t stop. It was purely a physiological response and I was not upset at all. My main concern was that HE would freak out and not want to pursue this anymore. We each went to our respective groups on SubMrs and HusDOM and were reassured that it is pretty common.
I hope that helps!
Staci -
I’ve experienced different emotional reactions during scenes…I have cried AND have broke out into laughter (which actually upset my Sir more than the tears). To this day, I get beautiful butterflies in my stomach before a scene…I relish in the anticipation of what’s to CUM, lol! I think it really boils down to how much of an endorphin release we get during a scene that can make the emotions spill out. As you can see by the responses, you are not alone in your experience…but communication after a very emotional scene is vital so that you and your Sir can at least TRY to understand what went on and so that it doesn’t make him feel like he did something wrong. We are all here to subport you!
Smooches,
V
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