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Feeding your Dom
So I decided to post a thread to find out how everyone “feeds” their Dom. What did you do in the beginning to feed his dominant side and as he grew into his dominant side what did you do to continue to feed him, because I suspect as he grows and really cones into his role, the way we feed them changes as well?
Today I decided I need to do more to feed my Dom. This morning I tried something different. When I got his coffee, I stripped down while he was in the shower, made his coffee then took it to him in the bathroom on my knees. I handed it to him with both hands while on my knees and didn’t get up till he told me I could. At first when he saw me on my knees he said I didn’t have to do that, but I stayed where I was, looking up to him with the coffee in my hands as an offering. I also noticed his arousal as I stayed as well, 😉 since I stayed on my knees, I guess he figured he needed to tell me I could get up before I would get up. 🙂
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18 Replies
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RS, You goo SUBBY !!! It has been Amazing to watch you grow, feed, share ! So , glad you are here !
Yes, for me I find different things feed my HusDom …like # 1 meeting him in public in the most submissive pose I can : In Vanilla Land ! I find when I walk up head/eyes lowered to the ground…just melt into his chest …It ROCKS him!
Im also finding walking around topless at home , if great too ! It really feeds him , sets the D/s moodI recently met a slave… I was fascinated …Im reading a book on it now . I watched her serve her Master a glass of ice tea ..she lightly kissed the rim and handed it to him It was totally HOTT..so full of Serving. Love, Sexy …..Im going to try that one for sure !
Hearts , Curvey
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I’d love to read that book! One of my friends is a slabs and I too am fascinated by some of parts of the dynamic. One of my other friends and I were talking about how she was learning more about who/what she is, and I was telling her I thought I was a cross between a sub & a slave.
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Awesome Rs!
In the beginning, I started to kneel (or at least sit if the kids are around) at his feet if I needed to talk to him or wanted his attention. I started greeting him before anyone else when we got home. Started making his afternoon coffee for him (had to learn how to make it just right too, lol). I started addressing him as Sir all the time.
Now, I still do all of those things and more, but the biggest change has been to do them in front of people and not hiding our dynamic. That has been a huge thing that feeds Sir lately, that I am proud in public and not afraid to respect that he is my Dom and I his sub.-
Im working on calling him Sir all the time, I’m making a conscious effort to do it more and more so eventually it will become just a natural thing. I still catching myself calling him hun or babe sometimes but I’m trying to call him Sir more often, occasionally I’ll call him by his given name still but like i said, I’m still working on things.. 🙂
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Don’t stress too much about it though, it’ll feel natural when it’s supposed to…we are all different and our comfort levels about things are also all different. 😉
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Seeing your Sir’s appreciation for your efforts is great. What a wonderfully sweet subby thing to do for him.
My Sir and I talked about what would be helpful to him, and what would help me feel more submissive. Regular things that he could do for himself – refilling his water, getting pain or allergy meds, any other fetch and carry tasks – I can do to dote on him and help him relax. Picking my clothes for the day if he has a preference, ordering for me when we go out to eat, little things that give him the opportunity to take control and be in charge. We have a ritual (nearly) every morning and evening we swap my collar – I kneel before him, he changes my collar, kisses my forehead, tells me I’m his good girl, then either tells me to get dressed or come to bed. I stress/depress eat, so I asked it we could have a rule for me to ask his permission before I buy or eat any treat food, this helps prevent me from bingeing, and gets me to better communicate about my mood.
We both have this habit of doing last minute minor tasks before going to bed or leaving the house. If he takes a minute to take care of something I want to use that time too. Lately I’ve noticed myself saying “I’m going to do this while you do that ……if that’s okay with you.” I’ve mentioned recently that I would like to change this habit to be more respectful and to ask first instead of as an afterthought. My Sir is very easy going so doesn’t mind but understands how this would help both of us. So we are both going to be mindful to help me change this habit.
For my Sir, viewing these things in the light that they help me feel more submissive makes it easier for him to ask or command and he doesn’t feel selfish or bossy because it’s helping me as well as him.
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Lots of great helpful info Beth. I already try to get him is plate or get him water if he doesn’t have any, trying to do those “service” things. But I think doing them “bare” and on my needs this morning added a new level of submissiveness and he saw it more as a submissive act than just me “being sweet”. We have talked about him ordering for me when we go out, but that’s still a work in progress and seems is a habit that will take a little longer for Us since he’s never done that for me before and seems a bit ackward about it, but he’s willing to do it. I love the idea of asking before eating a “treat” I don’t necessarily stress eat but If I get a craving in my head I just “have to have” it!!!!! I think there are probably more areas I need more disipline in that I would love him to exert more control over and help me with. But I think we need to just take on one task at a time until We get one down then we will more on to another.
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Adding too many things at once can be overwhelming for both partners. We add and adjust as feels comfortable for us. Taking one task at a time is an excellent plan.
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I love this post! I have been thinking about this subject a lot lately. I always feel like I am not doing enough. Now I have some great ideas and food for thought.
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I think I’m gonna make it one of my personal goals, to do at least one act that will feed my Sirs Dom every Day.
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Great idea!
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Love that RS….FOr me it can be as simply as putting out a clean towel for Sir shower ! Because, sometimes I just cant get naked and serve……
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Ain’t that the truth! Having kids around all the time makes it difficult for me a lot of the time, lol! But when I watch my posture and tone, Sir knows I am trying to be in mindset and he says that works too. I seriously can’t wait for the day that I can be naked ALL THE TIME, lol
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Lol, I could be naked more often, as no kids live at home anymore plus they know I’m a bit kinky and crazy so they should be cautious…lol. The other day I did lay out in the sun completely naked in the backyard and sent pics to Sir… ;).
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Great post RS! One of the first things I did when we began our D/s, is serve him his evening drink or cocktail on my knees (after the kids went to bed ?). He was so surprised and loved it! Then he added that every evening he would tell me to “get ready for the evening” and I was to put on only a bathrobe (in case the kids got up!). Now I serve him is drink with the robe open and spend the evening with it open for him. It’s the closest we could come to naked with a 7and 9 year old in the house.
Another ritual that we have that really feeds his Dom is that I walk him out to his car each morning and kiss him good-bye and wish him a good day. He always says that he hopes the neighbors notice that I give him this special and respectful send off each morning. ❤
I think any little thing that we can do or say to each other each day that keeps my submission and his Dominance foremost in our minds, deepens our relationship and makes this dynamic so fulfilling!
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Oh and… instead of him grabbing a plate in the kitchen, he now sits down at the dining room table and I bring his plate and set it before him. We can do this in front of the kids! I love that it is showing him such respect and consideration in front of them.
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That is something I try to do most days too, I will fix his plate as well. He’s still getting used to all this and says oh I can get it…. But approximates it when I bring it to him. It’s just so different from what we used to do or where we were. I used to want equality bacon the day and help all the time and now I’m willingly serving, I have a totally different mindset. I have completely embraced this mindset but he is still adjusting and learning. We are still growing together though. :). I think he will eventually find his way to where I am, and I believe if I Continue to feed his Dom everyday, it will help him get there:) ❤️
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I think our husbands have a harder time adjusting because they have been hammered over the head by society their whole lives that they had to treat us equally, help with everything, and that it wasn’t right for women to serve them. I was so much like you, RS. Expected help and annoyed when I didn’t get it. Now with new mindset of serving him and being happy about it, I have let go of so many negative thoughts and feelings I used to have. It’s a much happier life for our entire family. You can even feel that our kids are calmer, kinder,and less negative. SO HAPPY we discovered what our true natures were meant to be!
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