-
Disappointment then immediate undisappointment (sort of)
Sir is in the Navy and has been promoted to Chief. This is a REALLY big deal. I am so proud of him!
This entails 6 weeks of basically hazing (though nothing physical other than extra working out) and training culminating in his pinning where he gets his anchors (pins in the shape of fouled anchors for his collar) and the Khaki Ball (a not quite formal dinner where all the chiefs and their significant others celebrate the new chiefs.)
Usually all of this is command specific. Each ship or command has their own training and khaki ball. The ship that is the “sister ship” to my Sir’s ship only had two people advance, so they have pooled together with Sir’s ship because it’s kind of hard to run the program with only 2 participants. This is unusual, but not unheard of.
Sir informed me weeks ago of the date of his pinning and of the Khaki ball and we made plane and car and hotel reservations for the children and I to spend a week with him. One of my good friends agreed to watch our crazy dogs for us.
The Khaki ball was slated for Thursday Sept. 22. Because the Captain of Sir’s ship wanted to give all the new chiefs a four day weekend as sort of a congratulatory gift.
The captain of the other ship, however, has seniority and yesterday decided to change the date, time, and venue of the part to after we will already be gone because he doesn’t want to give his two sailors two extra days off.
It will cost over $1000 just to change our flights, another almost $750 in hotels, another $100 for keeping the car longer, and my friend can’t watch the dogs longer as she is going out of town the day after we get back.
Sir decided that, as disappointing as it is, I will not get to go to his first Khaki Ball.
Yes, I am disappointed for me. Who doesn’t like to get dressed up and go to a fancy party and have a night away from the kids? But mostly I am disappointed for him. He has worked SO hard in the last 4 years to get this promotion (and he got it a full 4 years earlier than average) and the past few weeks have been HELL on him with little sleep, little personal time, and pretty much being back in boot camp. And now he has to go to HIS party alone. Yes, there will be other ones. Every year. But this is HIS. And I feel so badly for him that someone can just sweep in and take it away from him just because he can.
To his credit Sir told me to bring my party dress and sparkly shoes anyway because the night that was supposed to be the khaki ball he was taking me out to paint the town. That he would rather have an evening alone with me doing whatever we wanted instead of some stuffy old party anyway. And I know on some level that is true. But the thought of him having to go alone still makes me so sad!
-
2 Replies
-
Hi, I am new to this site, but when I read this my heart when out to you.I thought I must write and say,I know how you feel.
Not being able to share things with your Sir, is a BIG disappointment. Especially when it is something so important. But it is also true that being just the two of you doing something extra special, with know one to get in the way, or formalities to interrupt, will also make the occasion special for the two of you.
Think of the possatives if you can. The time you will spend together , and cherish those moments .
Fifi -
Hi there.
I can relate in a lot of ways. My Sir is in the Navy and is deployed. I am no stranger to the needs of the Navy coming first and his current command and deployment has put us through tests that only the strong can survive! Sir was promoted to Chief approximately 4 years ago and I know exactly what it is like supporting them through season/initiation. The pinning and ball are definitley highlights of their hard work and achievement, but ya know, although I was happy to go to the Khaki ball with my Sir after his pinning, it was fun, but not magical.I think that your Sir’s way of telling you to come to him with your party dress and sparkly shoes to paint the town is very magical!! Of course things can differ from command to command (how nice their ball will be) and from couple to couple (how you paint the town), but I’ll bet you two will have a ton-o-fun on your own! Enjoy having your Sir to yourself in his khakis. I’m not much of a partier, but I’d have loved to have been able to spend that evening with him alone, formalities aside. I just had a baby a few weeks before and that time would have been lovely alone with him. But I truly feel he deserved that time with his fellow Chiefs for all they endured together during those 6 weeks. They stand together, not individually. Don’t count on it being a sad occasion for him. It is still one to celebrate even if at a distance or not on the day of the occasion.
Maybe you could send him or leave him with something very special to be opened before the ball so that he can think of you. Perhaps a special care package or a picture of you all dolled up so that he can remember the fun night that you two had together celebrating him – and you because he could not have done it without your support. He could place the picture in his pocket.
It sucks, but it is certainly one of those things you have to let not get you down. Shame on the other Ship’s Captain, but another man’s priority will always be another’s missed opportunity. You and Sir aren’t really missing out though…you’re going to celebrate with him either way! Take lovely pictures of your time spent with him.
I’m counting down the days until mine returns. 49 to be exact! I wish yours a speedy return home as well.
Hang in there.
Log in to reply.