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Diet, Weight Loss
Hi, everyone. My Sir and I are both very overweight. I have been overweight since I was 5 years old, and morbidly obese since I was about 18 or so. For BigOne, he put on the weight in adulthood, but it has been probably 30 years or so of yo-yo weight gain and loss for both of us.
In the past, I have had great success with Whole30 and Paleo, and BigOne has been successful with low-carb/Atkins types of programs. Neither of us has been able to maintain the weight loss for more than a year or so. Gradually, the weight creeps back. I can’t speak for BigOne, but for me….I am absolutely a food addict. I eat when I am angry, happy, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, etc. I have never been able to keep away from the foods that set me into cravings as a permanent change in my life.
Years ago, early in our pre-marriage D/s BigOne tried to “Dom” me into losing weight, with certain carb limitations that were set and punished for going over. It did not set well with either of us, and we are hesitant, even in our new and COMPLETELY different D/s M dynamic, to try that again. It is very important to BigOne that he set me up for success in my submission to him, and he doesn’t want to set a rule for something he knows I will not be able to follow. It’s really embarassing to admit, but I don’t think my submission runs deep enough to stop me driving through Mcdonalds if i am spiraling and want french fries. Yes, I know all the many, many reasons that is wrong and bad for me, and it actually disgusts me, but it is the reality of where I am…and always have been in my life.
I know we would both feel better and he might have more energy if we added excerise to our lives, but I don’t see that as even remotely possible with our schedule. I know, everyone says they don’t have time, but I really mean it. I get up at 6:00 AM, have Bible study time and school prep until 7:00, get my 4 kids up and ready to start school at 8:00. From 8:00-1:30 I homeschool my kids from grades 2nd-10th, and then we are off to gymnastics practice from 2:00-8:00 PM. I may be able to walk around the gym while the practice occassionally, but most days I go to work while they are at the gym. On the days i am off work, I go home and cook dinner, clean the house, grade schoolwork and prep for the next day’s schedule until BigOne brings the kids home from the gym around 9:00 PM. We sit down and eat dinner when they walk in the door at 9:00, and I try to get the kids all in bed by 10:00, ( which is a 50/50 chance of success). Most of the time, the only time BigOne and I have together alone starts around 10:30 or 11:00, so I am not willing to sacrifice that only time we have to connect to go walking at night…plus we are both exhausted by then. All of that to say…my focus, for now, is on changing the eating patterns…not adding excercise to an already insane schedule.
So, I am thinking about a playful “challenge” to BigOne. Something that would encourage us both to reach for certain diet goals, such as measuring days of successful compliance to Whole30 or Paleo for me, and staying under whatever carbs e wants for a goal for himself…for sme sort of D/s related “prize” or in some sot of game type of challenge. I know we would both feel better if we could get this under conrol.
That’s where you all come in. Does anyone have any ideas of some rules, prizes, parameters for a game I can challenge BigOne with? Weight loss contests don’t work because he always drops pounds so much faster than I do, and then there is no challenge in it for either of us. Also, BigOne is not going to be motivated by offers of blowjobs or sex, so that adds to the challenge of “prizes” to offer for success or winning the bet 🙂
You are all so smart and creative….any ideas?
Thanks for reading all of this, and for iving me a safe place to share a very hard and emotional topic for me. 🙂
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5 Replies
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I don’t have suggestions offhand but want to make sure I come back to this thread. My Sir doesn’t need to lose weight, but I sure do.
And actually, I talked to him about it last night. I’ve gained almost 60lb since we married 8 years ago. I truly believe this was me putting up barriers to sex. Not that it would stop him through his choice, but I used it as an excuse. I no longer want barriers.
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Mrs Wolfe, thank you for responding to my post. Such an open response! I bet that you will have great success in losing weight be that you have identified the reason for the weight gain to begin with. I am sure you are beautiful, and your Sir thinks so, too. My Sir and I I are going to try a ketogenuc diet starting Jan 5th. If you want to try it with us, it works be fun to have a subbie support group. 🙂
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Angelica… how are you doing? It’s been some time since I visited this site but I want to get on my program and I thought to check in and see how keto was going for you. Hope you’re feeling well on it.
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Hi, Mrs. Wolfe. we are both doing amazing! We are following a keto diet and I have found some drinks that are giving me energy, focus, and making it easy to lose weight. Sir has lost over 60 pounds, and now that I am doing the drinks along with keto, I have lost almost 30. Thanks for checking in. we feel great and couldn’t be happier!
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That’s awesome that you have both lost weight. My Daddy and I both do Keto as well.
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