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control over abuse
i am new to this and this is my first post so here gos.
I was sexually abused as a child for a year by a friend of the family I remember at the I wasn’t aware what was happening was wrong but I knew I hated but I couldn’t tell anyone, circumstances changed and the abused stopped I got on with my childhood until I became a teenager I hated what had happened to me I became out of control, drinking all the time hanging around with people I shouldn’t not going to school. I didn’t care what happened to me I just wanted to forget.
Until one night I was in a club underage drinking I was only 16, I was getting a lot of attention from a group of men, the next thing I’m outside with these men and no one else was about, they wouldn’t let me leave they held me down and raped me and beat me, someone found me after they was gone and I ended up in hospital for 3days.
These horrible experiences are what I think got me into bdsm lifestyle over the years I have had vanilla relationships that have never worked out. I had a lot of interest in bdsm, in my head at the time I couldn’t work out why I would want to do this after everything that had happened to me. My need to try took over and then I met sir we talked so much before we met and I told him about my past he was very understanding but worried if it was the right thing for me.
I became to realise the reason I wanted a D/s relationship was the control by submitting to sir I became to feel safe and in true fact I was in control I could make it stop at any point just by saying my safe word (so far never needed too). My sir is amazing and has made me so happy, he has took control over me but give me control over my abuse. -
3 Replies
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It might not have been the abuse but your natural submissive nature that brought you to it. I read something that theorized that a submissive with a history of abuse isn’t drawn to bdsm due to the abuse but their submissiveness made the abuser perceive them an an easier victim.
I think it makes sense to be drawn to it either way. Wanting someone that you know is in control and will protect you. It’s an intense feeling of security. Plus you know they will respect your safe word.
I’m glad he brings happiness and control back to your life. 🙂
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Whatever brought you here michelle I am glad you you are now feeling safe and loved by your Sir. Hopefully you can now start to heal some of the pain that has been left and replace it with the good, positive experiences you are having with your Sir. Thank you for sharing ????
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Thank you everyonet for your support I’m so glad I found this site and get to talk to all of you my sir and been very understanding and helped me a great deal and has been very understanding with my hard limits
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