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Communication
I am writing on the Foundations as a means for Sir and I to better understand and reconnect on them. The first one we decided to focus on is communication.
Communication
I believe that communication is the cornerstone of any type of relationship. Be it a friendship, or a marriage, parenting, or with coworkers. But i find it especially important in a D/s dynamic.
Communication is vital in a BDSM relationship for many reasons but the most vital of reasons, for me, being trust. Without trust it’s impossible to have meaningful Dom/sub relationship.
We all communicate through the words that we say and the actions that we take and trust is built in the same manner but with time thrown in the mix.
For a submissive, it is imperative that our Doms communicate with us in an effective and clear manner. With control (of himself) and with confidence. This is where our trust and devotion are derived from. Where respect is formed. This is where stability is built. How expectations are grown. We look to our Doms for guidance and without clear communication from both sides the relationship, whether it’s the sexual side of BDSM or the mental, will falter.
As a Dom you should want, expect, encourage, and nurture honest communication from your sub. How do you consistently respond to her when she is open? Your facial expression. Body language. Your tone. The words you say. It all matters. Long distance or living under the same roof. It ALL matters. It determines if she feels safe enough to continue to be open. It determines if she can trust you enough to become emotionally vulnerable.
Clear, honest communication must be mastered well before mastering another human being. It must be mastered in order to allow another to fully take control.
I am not perfect when it comes to this. I’m not even kind of perfect. My natural instincts are to give the appearance that everything is fine while falling apart on the inside. I withdraw into myself and attempt to sort out any mess alone. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to look weak. I don’t want to seem vulnerable. This is not for the benefit of me or my relationships and with help I am learning a new way. A better way.
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2 Replies
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The foundations that D/s-M is built on are Communication, Honesty, Respect, Trust and LOVE. A married D/s relationship has to have realistic and sustainable principles. It takes both parties to engage and study in their roles. That’s why I coined this thing we do as a married couple. This is why I made this place for us all to gather. D/s-M is a beautiful thing… If you believe.
If you do your best and your husDOM does his …the sky is the limit! That’s my truth. LK -
This is wonderful, thank you for sharing.
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