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Christmas Eve Exchange
When I first read about doing a Formal Acceptance it seemed too, well, formal. I didn’t quite understand and couldn’t picture myself kneeling in front of my husband and asking him to be my Dominant. So I just shrugged it off as different preferences for different people and moved on. Slowly, I started seeing the charm and purpose in the different formalities. The first being Downtime. We hashed things out all the time and had good, open communication. So, no point in Downtime, right? The deeper we got into D/s the more we wanted it and began implementing it. It felt so comforting and freeing knowing we had this (nonsexual) time dedicated to me, to him, to us. We discussed Christmas gifts and decided we would exchange both a vanilla gift and a D/s gift. I already had an idea of what I wanted to get him and was so excited. It was this gift idea that led me to actually feeling excited about FA. A got a leather braided band bracelet a few months ago and it looked really nice on him. I got to thinking he may enjoy a leather cuff signifying his Dom just as a collar does for my sub. A few times a week I send him D/s quotes or images on our couple app. I chose one of these quotes to be engraved on the inside of his cuff – a secret reminder of who he is. Christmas Eve came and when we got home from a family event and got the kids to bed, he left to walk the dog and told me to get our gifts out so we could exchange them when he got back. I made our room nice and tidy, lit a couple of candles, put his gifts to me on the bed, put a large white bow on the little black box his cuff was in, and changed into my red bra + panty set. When he walked in I was kneeling in front of the bed with his gift beside me. Chill, atmospheric music played in the background. I asked him to sit on the bed in front of me and that I had something I’d like to say before. With his permission, this is what I said: “I have never trusted anyone in my life. I have learned to guard myself against disappointed and hurt by simply expecting it. I martyr myself by doing everything that needs to be done, rarely asking for help or even simply resting. Other people won’t get it right so what is even the point. Truthfully, I’ve learned this is not about how I feel about other people at all. At the core, I do not trust myself. I do not believe in myself, I expect myself to fail, I know myself to be a disappointment. I brace myself for others to hurt me because I do not see myself as being worthy of being treated well, taken care of, desired. When you lead me, guide me, dominate me – all of these insecurities melt away in an instant. The constant pressure of responsibilities, obligations, expectations is relieved and instead I feel true comfort and safety. Old habits die hard and the walls I have built up for almost 28 years will take time and effort to be deconstructed and molded into something new. I ask for your patience, but especially your determination and commitment to me and to us as I learned and grow. It is difficult for me to not tense up against predicted failure as I have always done. There is an ebb and flow to this dance; progress is not linear and there is no finish line. Forgive me when I feel wounded by the ebbs. I will give you grace as you give me the same. I aim to build you up with my service and submission. I wish to be built up with your guidance and domination. I offer myself up to you, flawed but present, to do with as you will. I ask in return for your firm and loving hands, arms, and voice. So, I am asking you officially. From this day onward as long as we both desire and enthusiastically consent: will you be my Dominant?” He smiled and said, “Yes, of course.” I gave him the box and warned it may not fit because I measured his watch for the custom order. Thankfully, it fit perfectly! He spoke a bit before giving me my gifts. He talked of selfishness as a defense mechanism, and how much being my Dom challenged him in the best ways. He said he’s been researching collaring ceremonies and day collars, and how he wants to do those badly but that we need to wait and not take on too much at once. I felt so appreciated and thought of. I unwrapped my gifts: a black play collar with a silver heart lock and a black riding crop! Sadly I was feeling tired and sick so we didn’t break in the crop, but hopefully soon. I will add photos of the collar and the cuff a little later when A gets home! He loves the cuff and says it means a lot to have that reminder on him all day. I put it on and take it off for him in the morning and night. I feel like our Christmas Eve together was the best part of Christmas for the both of us.
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5 Replies
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My play collar!
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That’s beautiful MrsR
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Sir’s cuff
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Sir’s cuff on the inside – “my desires above hers, her needs above mine”
When he got home today he reiterated how much he loved it. Said it made him think of me all day. Happy subwife! 😊
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SO happy for you. Sounds like everything went just how it was supposed to. Beautiful!
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