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Choose your words wisely
Perspective
Last night, I had a light bulb moment – something so profound I’m still a bit overwhelmed. It’s a little wordy, just bear with me.
Yankee and I have been on this journey for nearly 3 years, learning and growing, rebuilding our intimacy. Yes, we still make mistakes, but we learn from them, and move forward. We have been so blessed with this community and the wisdom written here.
When we began this journey, I made a vow to never tell him no – to give in to his desire. If I really was not in a place to welcome him (not very often), I would gently let him know. He has always been patient with me. And if I was really interested, I would ask him for playtime – my code to him in the form of “Does Sir have any instructions for me tonight?” As a general rule, I am available to him at all (appropriate) times.
My Yankee’s job takes a great deal of energy, both physical and mental. It wears him down, with 10 hour shifts, scheduling/shift changes, potential mandatory overtime, politics, and moral. Yesterday was a hard day – the weather, staffing issues, working ot in the morning & then his regular shift in the afternoon & evening. I asked for his time – to take a coffee/dinner break – to help ease his burden during his shift. He agreed, and we planned some time. On his way to the break, he came upon a car accident, which he needed to stop by, and then another happened right in front of him, obviously needing his attention. Meanwhile, I’m waiting for him with his dinner getting cold. I was finally able to get in touch with him, and he reassured me he was still on his way to meet. I just asked him to be safe & I’d see him soon. He did eventually show up, and he was able to take a few moment to relax with coffee and a bowl of tomato soup. Even after all the years he’s worn the uniform, he still makes me swoon. He was a bit happier when we left the café.
A little bit later, while I was at home, I sent him a text – “How may I serve you tonight, Sir?” for when he gets home. I truly have no idea why I sent him that – the choice of words. It was completely different than what I normally send. But it felt right – the words – serving him. It is all I wish to do – to serve him, to please him, to be his refuge & safe place. After nearly 3 years of submission, I asked him how I could serve him. Yes, in other circumstances, I have spoken those words. But not like this. THIS WAS DIFFERENT. I cannot explain it.
His response was gentle & inviting. A bath, a massage. We discovered that a happy ending (wink, wink) was called for after the massage – all for his pleasure. In my submission, I was able to ease him, and this brought me pleasure. There was peace, calm & intimacy.
I asked him about it this morning. That question, “How may I serve you,” – how did it make him feel? He said he noticed the difference. He liked it. He smiled.
Our perspective can be dramatically changed with just a simple difference in the choice of words we use.
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2 Replies
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Thanks for sharing Gracie. That was beautiful. So far my light bulb moments have involved my apologizing to Wolf for past mistakes or actions. You give me hope that someday light bulb moments will be a good thing!
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gracie,
I love this post! Thank you for sharing and I think you are absolutely correct, how we say things can make all the difference. You are awesome lady and an inspiration.
Smooches,
V
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