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Balancing working from home and submission
As the COVID shutdown hit, both my Sir and I started working from home. This needless to say threw our dynamnic into a tailspin. Not only did this shutdown affect our dynamic, but also the PTSD I was dealing with from the traumatic loss of my mother. The separation that we had of work lady and home lady had all but disappeared and I did not realize how much this would affect us. I am a leader at work, I take charge and make decisions that affect the lives of others so I am very serious at work and oddly enough almost dominate.
At first it was little things, that I did not realize I was doing. For example while working I would speak to Sir as a boss, and he did not like this. I could not understand why he was getting so upset with me, after all I was just working. Sir did not see this side of me and it was a shock to him. Soon I was taking out my frustrations of work on him, you know like when you talk to coworkers about something frustrating and they know why you are frustrated. But Sir did not, and felt that I was being disrespectful. A few months passed and things were not getting better, my work mode was starting to spill into home mode. We were fighting, not talking.
It reached a point about three months in where Sir had hit his limit. We sat down and talked and layed out what I was doing that bothered him and I layed out what he was doing that was bothering me. After this talk we realized a few things
1) I still need some separation of work lady and home lady
2) He still needs me to be respectful to him when I talk to him throughout the day
3) We need to set clear boundaries and rules to follow during work hours and what my work hours where as often I am not done working at the same time or take my lunch at the same time
How did we accomplish this? I will be honest it is still evolving even after being home for over a year. Right now we do the following
1) I remain in work mode while I am actively working, and Sir does not approach me or make any requests of me while I am in my office. Only emergency conversations happen.
2) I make him aware of when my lunch will be and what time I will be getting off work. I let him know at least 30 minutes before my normal lunch/end of day if there will be a delay
3) When on my lunch, and done with work I am in home lady mode 100%
4) If I do talk to Sir during work hours, I remain respectful. If i am upset or having a bad day at work, I tell Sir i just want to complain and he will listen to me and allow me to just vent in any way I want to.
These things did help us maintain our dynamic. Has anyone else experienced this and if you did what did you do to get through it?
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