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Asking for what i need
My situation is a bit different than many on here. My Ds, although a ltr, is also long distance and polyamorous.
Our Ds had been growing slowly, but I craved much more than the physical and bedroom stuff. I felt unfulfilled without the mental control. Before reading on subMrs I felt there was something wrong asking for what I wanted. I felt as if it was my Sir’s place to drive how things went. I would ask leading questions and end up disappointed by the answers.
Last Saturday, i stumbled across hubDom looking for ways to better deal with the physical distance between us and came across one of of Mr Fox’s posts regarding remaining connected with lk even when he travels. I began reading and find my way here. I have been devouring the information since.
Now, I’m not sure if this is a true light bulb moment, however, due to my reading, especially about formal acceptance, I realized it is my responsibility to clearly ask for what I need.
With that in mind, I wrote out my thoughts as email and messanger are our primary communication while apart. I clearly expressed that while I did not want him to do anything he felt uncomfortable with, I craved and yearned for rules and expectations, if just to help me with where my mind is when apart and together. He expressed as he had before, in a phone call, that he was uncomfortable telling me what to do, as he worked hard for years not being the overpowering jerks he had encounter. I ensured him this was not only what I wanted, but what I need.
This morning, I was happily surprised with an email entitled “some rules for my fox.” In it he laid out his desires for me from grooming to hair to dress to disposition.
I couldn’t be more happy. A feeling of closeness and completeness has filled me all day. I am excited to get home and be able to prepare for his arrival this evening, knowing the things I can do to please him. -
3 Replies
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Awesome!
Isn’t it an amazing feeling when things start to click? Have you shared husDom with your Sir and asked him to join? It will be a great resource for him like submrs is for you. Wishing you more wonderful moments in your journey!
Smooches,
Veruca-
I have. He has looked at the he page a bit, but doesn’t have regular use of a computer to get on and really look around. We are working on getting Him a computer for better communication and so He can access hubDom
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Congratulations, Aspienfox! D/s is all about communication. Our Sir’s are not mind readers even if it feels that way sometimes. 🙂 It’s our responsibility to help them so the have the information they need to lead and guide us. Sounds like you have made a great beginning. ❤️~Beth
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