Any advice?

[pixiegirl]

Hello Mgd and welcome 🙂

We will all be more than happy to answer your questions. We’ve all started this amazing journey at different times and some, like me are still very new to the D/s- M dynamic. I fully understand where you are coming from, there seems so much to learn and absorb, you worry you’ll never get your head around it.
Dont worry! It is the most wonderful bonding experience for your Sir and yourself.
The best advice I can give you is to communicate. Constant, open and honest communication is the key to success. It will help you both to establish not only what you can expect from each other, but also find out more about what makes the other person tick- what are His/your deepest desires, fears, hopes.
Take your time, dont rush! Build a solid foundation, so that when you hit a roadblock along the way you can go back to basics and start from there.
Very few women are true natural submissives I think. Some of us have more tendencies towards it then others. We submit to our Sirs for a reason. It is our gift to Him. Our submission is given to the One worthy of our eternal love, our respect, trust, admiration and devotion. (That is my take on it and my reason for submitting anyways).
In the outside world I am too in control of work/ household etc. It is my Sirs great pleasure, his little secret in a way that only he knows that once the door shuts behind us- I belong to Him, completely and without reservation and all control is given over to Him.

I think I’ve just chatted for over an hour to you on chat hahaha- I’ll keep the rest short 😉

Punishments are only effective if they fit the person, the crime and are consistent.
It is for your Sir to learn what is the most effective punishment for you, to stop your unwanted behaviour. Otherwise it becomes a funishment….nothing wrong with that 😉 But not effective at curbing my sacrcasm for instance.

If your Sir hasn’t signed up to Mr Fox’s HusDom site, I can only encourage Him to join, He can have his questions answered over there and get the support from the other Dom’s too.

Anyways, enjoy your wonderful new life!
Any other questions, please dont be shy. Grab one of us in chat and we’ll try to help and sub-port you as best as we can

All the best

Pixiegirl

[ssb]

Pixiegirl, I think you said it perfectly. I think the best way to start is to definitely talk openly and honestly with each other. Maybe write down a couple of rules that you can do and keep everyday. I had such a bad tendency to want everything all at once when my Sir and I started… I hit the ground running and I don’t think he could keep up at first. We hit a huge roadblock (and reality) and it caused us to take a step back and kind of start over.

Mgd, I also work in an environment where I have to be in control. So, for me part of my submission is coming home and letting my Husband take over. At first, it was in the bedroom, but as time went on and we learned more, our D/s has come out of the bedroom and weaved its way into our everyday life.

So I guess to keep from rambling and repeating pixigirl… my advice would be to take it slow, talk, and don’t feel like you need to compare. And don’t hesitate to ask questions. I think most everyone offers great advice here (newbies and seasoned subbies :))

Talk to you later lady!

♥SSB

[Unknown Member]

Pixie, SSB I think you both explained it perfectly and in simple understanding…great job ladies. The only thing I would say is that when you hit a road block you don’t always need to start over. If you and your Sir have open and honest communication, patients and take it slow which I know is hard to do. When you hit that road block sit a have a downtime together talk openly about what happened or why it happened and what can you do to adjust it to fit your dynamics. Remember it’s a learning curve and with that you gain knowledge. The D/s lifestyle isn’t easy, and in my opinion it shouldn’t be, its hard work because you have done things and lived most of your life by society’s rules and still have to in everyday life. So it can be very emotional, and a lot to grasp onto and understand. But all the road blocks and hard work is worth it in the end…It’s amazing and its freedom with love! And remember you are not alone, all you have to do is come out here and chat with all the ladies and they will sub-port and help you to the best of their sub-bility.
Lt♥

[mcgd]

Thank you all for welcoming me and the great advice. I have started to get a journal, which i write in every night, per Sir’s request. It’s supposted to help me keep track of my feelings, and thoughts, and lesson’s i’ve learned that day. It kinds of like my own personal downtime. I look forward to sharing my Journey through this transforming process with all of you!