- September 7, 2017 at 7:03 pm #28041
Is this something that you have enjoyed all along?
Is this something that you have recently discovered you like?
Is this something that you are interested in, but still a little nervous about?
What do you think attracts you to pain?
What does it do for you?
What scares you about it?
- September 9, 2017 at 9:30 am #28053Lilla F/Mr.AParticipantRegistered subMrs™
I have as been leaning towards the masochistic side for many years. Long before I ever confessed it to Sir and officially started on this journey with him.
The pain attracts me for the way it resets me and clears my head. When I spiral down it can set me right again.
The thing scares me is the addictive side and that I am going to need more and more.
- December 4, 2017 at 12:41 pm #28747Kleine/KönigParticipantPremium subMrs™
This weekend we had a 4 hour car ride to KY. I brought my journal to discuss some different ideas I was having. I already knew which one I wanted to talk about, the reason I brought it, the one about pain. I was so nervous to tell him that I read everything else first. Finally my entry about pain is all that’s left. I feel the heat rise all over my body knowing what I am about to reveal to him that I want him to spank me harder. That I want to feel the force of his swing push me to my limit. That I want bruises like a warrior wants battle scars. Did I know what I was asking for? Yes. I’ve thought about it over and over again. Every time I think about welts on my skin, the heat on my ass my cunt gets wet. He just smiled once I was done reading. In my nervous babble I worry out loud, “Am I asking too much of you?” He assures me I’m not as reach over to hold my hand. Oh my Sir. Now I want to be a naughty little girl. Hehe.
Of course bad timing to accept this about myself being pregnant and all. So time to dive into some research and see just what is safe for my body to take.
- December 4, 2017 at 2:27 pm #28750
Kudos to you for communicating to him what you are wanting! One question I have is, have you figured out why you desire the pain? No need to necessarily answer now…you might not even truly know the answer until you get the pain you are seeking…and that answer is different for us all!
On a side note…yes, you MUST be careful while pregnant!!!!
There are some forum threads that I will try to find for you about impact while pregnant from some past subbies who where in the same situation…wanting their kinky fuckery, but pregnant and worried about the baby. If I can track them down, I will get them to you.
- December 4, 2017 at 3:04 pm #28751
Here are a few that I found…some good ideas on how to keep mindset and the D/s-M alive outside of the bedroom, but most of them talk about being very careful when it comes to play and scenes:
- December 4, 2017 at 3:23 pm #28752Kleine/KönigParticipantPremium subMrs™
The Why. For me I think its a couple of things. One relates to my light bulb moment I recently had. That feeling of being possessed by him. That I am his. I belong to him. All of me. My pain. My pleasure. All of it. Belonging to him is what makes me feel most loved.
The other part of that Why has to do with my type A personality. Being so head strong, having to have things a certain way can become stressful. As I am sure most of know. But At that moment when his hand connects with my ass and my hands are lock behind me. That is when I have given up complete control and I can let go. My mind can’t roam to vanilla. I have to remain present to be able to handle the pain. This is also the same for me with breath play. I have to focus on what’s happening in the now so that I don’t panic. I knew I liked it I just didn’t understand Why. Until now.
- December 4, 2017 at 3:32 pm #28753
Makes perfect sense!
- December 29, 2017 at 8:51 am #28960Bea/SpankyParticipantPremium subMrs™
I have always felt a little pain made me tingly, now that we have introduced it into play time, I get wet just thinking about it. I don’t feel I am a masochist, I enjoy the moderate pain of the flogger, crop & hand best. But sometimes the cane can get me into that happy place a little quicker when we are short on time. With each impact, I have to focus fully on it, its the only time I can truly shut off my brain and let go. With consistent patterns and slow increases in impact, I am able to sink into my happy place and enjoy each moment. It scares me because it feels like a drug & I just want more. Every time I feel like my world is caving in that is what I want & need to help set it straight.
- January 14, 2018 at 3:46 pm #29085Honey Bee/Bee KeeperParticipantPremium subMrs™
We had dabbled in this on and off for years before we found this online community. Like Klein, for me the impact play helps me get out of my head. It helps me to feel grounded. I enjoy the subspace it brings. The hardest part is giving up the control but it is also what I need being Type A.
- February 9, 2018 at 9:28 pm #29292AnonymousRegistered subMrs™
I agree with the above comments about pain. I too need to get out of my head, and hard impact is the only thing that will do that for me. Like the wise subbies above, it is a way to get reset, and feel close to Sir and His power.
I feel joy, and I am in the moment during and after the pain play. I have a very difficult time appreciating the present. Vanilla troubles float away, as I float away to subspace. It is freedom for me, and the world feels safe and right again.
The tricky part for me is the peace that I have made with my childhood. I was raised with corporal punishment, as many of my generation were. I have evolved and decided to not use corporal punishment with my children, but I can not change my own schema, so I became at peace with my love of rough things like impact play, and strong words. The heart wants what the heart wants. It is now consensual and it makes me happy. As I approach 50, I have gotten to a place where I don’t shy away from what turns me on (some things are hard limits) I except it for what it is–my life, my story.
- April 21, 2018 at 10:31 pm #30027star *Prema/SirJustinParticipantPremium subMrs™
Thanks for all of the above comments. It helps so much to explain this desire that keeps creeping up and getting stronger: the growing need for more physical intensity. We’ve only just begun our D/s-M journey and already I find that impact is the fastest way to subdue my stubborn, busy, type A personality and free me in record speeds into the bliss of subspace. I’m so glad I had those custom heavy leather belts made for my belt buckles a few years ago. They’re now my favorite accessory 😉 It will be interesting to see where our future takes us with this. Sir’s….approval?….of the acts have not gone unnoticed either. Lol.
Thanks again ladies!
- April 23, 2018 at 10:59 am #30032
Welcome to the group! So glad you feel “normal” here, lmao!
Isn’t it so exciting in the beginning…discovering your kinks?
Glad you are here!
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