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Spankings what do they do for you?
Spanking! Why do we need or like to be spanked? I have been thinking about this myself lately and have wondered why I need and like to be spanked. I love to be spanked and if my Sir tells me he is going to spank me the anticipation of knowing sets my mind into submissive mode instantly. If my Sir tells me to look at him and I see he is in his full Dom mode I instantly become lost in his power over me. I know there is a difference between a punishment spanking and a spanking during play. But for me they both cause the same effect in my mind may there be sexual release or none at all. I set myself up mental the same way for both types of spankings. Spankings release stress and can turn my bad day into a great day, they also make me feel refreshed and relaxed that I can conquer anything I am told to do. Could another man spank me and would it have the same affect over me? I do not believe it would because it more to it than a hand or strap touching your ass. Its the connection between your Hus/Dom and yourself that drives these emotions inside us that cause this feeling and effect. So please tell me what you think!
Roadrunner
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44 Replies
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I enjoy spankings…they make me hot, they feel good, they make my brain feel better…a true reset. However, I have recently come to dislike punishment spankings. Sir is tired of my uncontrolled mouth and of having to tell me multiple times to do things, so now when I earn a true punishment things have changed. Intensity is the same, I think, but Sir makes me stay present for every strike. No floaty, happy, subspace…He sees I am headed there and immediately brings me back. Not fun, though I guess that is the point of a punishment!
So…spankings? Yes! Please! Punishment? No…I hate disappointing my Sir…and I much prefer happy spankings! -
Spankings have helped me in many different ways. One of the biggest great things was that Before I started D/s my hair was falling out terribly. We started spankings ect.. 6 months in to D/s my hair dresser asked me what I was doing that my whole head has new hairs growing in it.
Maintenance spankings are great to work into your kinky play. Use your wand on your clit as you’re spanked. If my Sir does this I can take a lot more impact that way.
As always…AFTERCARE… after spankings My Sir applies Arnicare. It comes in gel, cream and a balm. It helps with pain, swelling and bruises.LK
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Wow, LK, I wonder if it was an endorphin release? I wonder if you could find a way to market spanking as a curative..
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Girl… I am working on it….. LOL!
Spreading the word to you subs!LK
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I have read that Spankings give you endorphins and hormone releases. I believe it can help you regain some of your youth.
It’s like your own personal heroine really, Spankings are addictive.
LK -
I am curious if your Sirs get as much out of spankings as you do??? Has anyones Sir told you this???
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My Sir and I have never really talked about it but He always makes a comment about how fine my ass looks… 🙂
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Well, He has said He enjoys giving them to me. I will say, that He struggled a bit with that at first (the whole don’t hit a woman thing and He never wants to REALLY hurt me). Thankfully, He got over that after talks and reading. He also likes my bottom red. Does He enjoy them as much as I do?
I’d say no…simply because I can get into subspace and I don’t think He gets into topspace then. But, I’ve never asked. I’ll talk to Him and see!-
When my Sir spanks me he gets fulfillment knowing he’s giving me something I need and want. But as Sirs confidence and dominance grows to a higher level because his mindset is more focused on feeding me during spankings in play. Sir feels he’s accomplished his role and when he does I feed him. Sir doesn’t go into Dom space he just feels good knowing what he has given me. Prideful.
Lts
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Butterfly my Sir has explained what the spankings mean to him… I will ask him to reply in his own words.
LK
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I have been trying to figure out why I like spanks since we started. It is weird to me, because I have spent a lifetime associating BDSM with violence and oppression of women. When I finally figured out that a woman can ask/consent to domination and that is actually being sexually assertive and in control of one’s own sexuality/satisfaction, my mind changed a little. However, I still have my southern Church-girl hang ups about it from time to time. I guess I like it because it feels sexually adventurous, and was the gateway to the intimacy I desired for our marriage. It felt liberating (which is the opposite of what I expected). It made me vulnerable to my husband and allowed me to be honest with him in ways I never imagined before – after all, when you can confess your most secret sexual desires to someone disclosure of all other matters in the relationship (money, parenting, work difficulties) seem easier to share and bear together.
I like how my husband openly admires my body and my curves when we spank. I like to feel dominated in his caring hands. It excites me to see my man in control (in any situation), and it thrills me that I am his. I take better care of myself since we started spanking – I like to present nicely for him and hear his praise – I like feeling beautiful for myself as well as him.
So I wish I had a more explanative answer beyond the obvious (it turns me on). I tried.As far as him liking it, I think he likes it far better than I ever expected. He transitioned very naturally into his Dom role, and he watches me now like a caged wolf – pacing and waiting for me to unlock the door and let him out again. When we started spanking and BDSM he demanded an honesty from me that I never really gave him before – he wanted to make sure it was what I really wanted, that I wasn’t getting hurt. I was not allowed to protect his feelings or ego in any way. I have to let him know if I am up for it, and sometimes I am not (physcially, emotionally, or whatever) and I am tempted to buffer his feelings and “do it anyway” like I did in our vanilla life. He found out that I had done that and was so angry with me I will never do it again. So we don’t spank all the time because of my preferences/need for rest/need for cuddles, but I think we would do it everytime if it were up to him.
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Thanks for commenting…
LK
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We are still working on getting fully past those first stages. We are making progress, slow but getting there. The little I have experienced had made me feel incredibly submissive. In those moments I forget all but Him. I’m in the here and now and the thoughts and worries about all else seem to melt away. All there is, is Him and me (and the delicious sting and warmness on my bottom).
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Spankings are one of the first things as subs that we can enjoy and let go. We can give ourselves over to our Sirs and get out of our own heads.
Little Kaninchen
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I love the anticipation my Dom creates when he gives me spankings – he likes to caress me until I’m trembling from the suspense. I like how I feel so vulnerable when I lie across his lap and how his hands wander. It’s like, in those moments, we’re the only things in the world. Also, outside of the relationship I have the habit of being a control-freak so another great thing there is that there is nothing I need to try and control – I’ve surrendered it all to him!
We haven’t done punishment spankings yet – though we have been discussing them.
My Dom didn’t like the idea of them to begin with – reminded him of his childhood. 😛 But he decided to try it for me and he’s found himself really enjoying them! He seems to love them as much as I do – it was only a couple of days ago that he sent me a link to some different spanking positions.
What I really like about it though is that spanking has helped my Dom become more confident and open about what he wants. Since we started, he’s actually been talking about what he wants to do and how he likes things and is getting less self-conscious about giving me orders – he had always been really nervous about that stuff. It makes me so happy to see him gain confidence like that.-
Little Succubus,
You have brought up an excellent point. How the Dom can enjoy and grow from administering spankings…
regards,
Mr Fox
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Mr Fox,
Thank you; it was just an almost miraculous change. Back when our relationship was vanilla I would ask him if he liked things I was doing, if I needed to work on things, or if he wanted to try anything and I would get nothing input. We’re each other’s first partner, so I guess a lot of it was “just happy and nothing to compare to”. He was my nerd and despite how wonderful he is, he had low self-confidence but with glimpses of dominance.
But once the spankings started, he started telling me the answers to all those questions without any prompting. He even became more responsive, and when I couldn’t meet the objectives he set out, he was even kinder about it. His Dom started spilling into the vanilla world too. It was just really wonderful to watch. He’s still a nerd (and I love it) but he’s so much more confident.
Honestly, so far, the absolute best thing (ad there are a lot of awesome things) about being Sir’s submissive is watching him grow.
LS
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Oh, I am in a MOOD tonight… my Sir definitely “grows” when he is administering a spanking….but I’m sure Mr. Fox meant it purely in the educational sense….
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[giggle]
Well, there is that feeling too. Another advantage of the across the knee position. 😉
Side Note: I forget whether I’ve linked this anywhere. I will mention that the last position is rather fun…
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Ohhh, thank you! 1, 2, and 3 we’ve done, never considered the others. #6 looks like it lends itself to being tied up?
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It does – the easiest way is lifting your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms under your knees, and then having your arms bound. My Sir found that picture and it didn’t take him very long to try it on me. 😛
(Though I will mention I had my knees bent [I need to work on my hamstrings] – my Sir has said that once we get a place where we can renovate, then he’ll install a hook or two in the ceiling to hold my legs upright for it… that and he likes suspension)The hands get pins and needles (and lovely little rope marks) if you stay tied up too long but it’s really a great position as far as I’m concerned. Also, it leaves all those “sensitive” areas open for other sorts of play…
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Oh yes, it would, wouldn’t it? Delicious 🙂
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Spankings are a good punishment for me, because i dont like them. i grew up recieving spankings, i wasnt hit or touched in any other way & spankings are not my cup of tea. ive gotten slapped in the face & head more by my Sir & i much more prefer that to a spanking.
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i guess im just a butt head…. lol idk im joking i thought that up right now hehe….
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We just started spankings, the first few times were very erotic, being restrained by Sir, over his lap, so I KNEW I was going to like them as they got rougher, but he didn’t go on long enough, or use enough force. I told him afterwards that I could take more and two days ago, he really let go. Alternating the flat side of our wooden hairbrush with the bristles, which are very soft and feel feathery. It went on and on, Sir mixed it in with other things, and I totally lost myself in the pain and eroticism. My butt still smarts, but I loved it. Sir did too, I think. I’d be really interested to hear Mr.Fox’s take on it. I’ve yet to ask my Sir, as I’m still reveling in that day.
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I love being spanked. especially over the knees. When I’m being spanked I start to slowly drift a bit as I let the pain wash over me. I try not to fight the pain that comes with spanking as it makes the whole thing feel very unpleasant as I found out.It somehow makes me relax, like how a good vacation is suppose to renew you for going back to you regular life. I could just have spankings and nothing else and I would still be very happy. Spanking I find is a catharsis for me.
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Before D/s, I had constant hip and shoulder pain, and frequent back issues that made it difficult for me to sleep. Depression? Stress? Probably. Now, I sleep like a rock, hips, shoulder, back haven’t bothered me in over a year. Short spankings are now part of our going to bed ritual too. Spare me flowers and romance, and spank me!!
LBP
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It used to be that spankings for me were purely erotic and fun – I’ve recently noticed that they’re incredibly relaxing. Maybe relaxing’s the wrong word.
I’ll take the other day for example: my Sir was on his way over and I was really ticked off with someone over the computer and had just written up this huge rant and when my Sir got here I was in a really bad mood and pretty stressed. After a while, Sir took me over his knee and started spanking me. It wasn’t “punishment” spankings, but I could just feel myself sort of… floating out of my mind? It was as though somehow me and my worries were getting separated – either they were getting spanked out, or I was floating.
It’s very therapeutic.
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LS, I can totally identify with that need and the feeling. Sir has done that for me once, and it cleared my mind. I’ve told Sir that if I’m stressed please just spank me. He’s still spanking only for bed time ritual and play/scenes ( lol “only”…I crack myself up!), but I’m sure as he gets more confident he’ll see their utility in other areas!
LBP-
Sir has only done that to me once too. TT_TT I did tell him that it was therapeutic, so I hope he does try to implement spanking in other areas.
And with spanking there can never be enough. 😛
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Sir introduced a new element into spanking last night, fur! In between each different element he ran a mink stole ( old, but still feels very soft) over my bottom and back. OMG, warm and soft, then back to the bite of the paddle, or the sting of the knotted leather cord, or the meaty slap of his hand, it was amazing. ….
Sent from my iPhone using [URL=http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1]Tapatalk[/URL] – now Free ( and possibly more confusing than anything else you are currently using….)
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The very first spanking I ever received was a punishment spanking. Sir had no experience, he’d never even spanked during sex, but he knew it had to be done. He asked me kindly to bend over, hold the footboard and not lose that position. He then calmly explained why I was being punished and asked if there was anything I’d like to add. I was then caned, for what seemed like forever, sweating like a cat at a dog show, but mostly in shock. “Am I really willingly bending over for this?” “Is my sweet, gentle husband actually beating my ass with a cane?” I walked away with some well deserved welts and bruises that lasted well over a week.
Something happened that day and I’ve never been the same. I cant live without Sirs spanks. I haven’t been punished like that since, but the scene spanks are delicious. It makes me want to take better care of myself. I submit and want to serve him. I feel closer to him. I feel devoured and dominated. I feel his strength and know I know I belong to him.
We went through a funk where that stopped and I became sort-of depressed, but we’ve returned to BDSM and I know I will always have the comfort and security of knowing that Sir will always give me what I need…..GOODMORNING SPANKS!!
Pooh
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I do enjoy spankings in the sexual since, I have just received my first punish spanking and did not like that at all. Infact I remembered having a talk with My Master about how we each thought about punish spankings and he wasnt overly for it (the whole hitting woman thing) I had to talk him into it and tell him that the way he already spanked me would not be punishing me at all it would have to be alot harder…….hehehe looking back…..what was I thinking Lol. I also agree that it is a kind of reset though, cause when i know ive messed up it puts me in a really weired mood i cant think properly i make more mistakes etc, etc, etc.
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Sir has played with a little light spanking, which I enjoy, but last night I had my first real spanking scene.
I don’t really know how to express what I felt, but I hope it makes sense.It hurt, a lot, but I didn’t feel the need to use any safe words and took it quietly.
I cried during it, not the sobbing kind of ‘omg I’m so sad’ kind of tears, but silent ones that I didn’t even realise we’re there. I definitely didn’t expect that to happen.
It felt intense and all I was aware of was Sirs hand against my skin, everything else disappeared.
After I just felt, and this is the bit I find hardest to explain, quiet. My arse hurt, but if didn’t not enjoy it. I wasn’t happy, sad, or excited. Just kind of not really there, if that makes any sense at all?! You know that kind of feeling you get when you stare off into space and are in your own little world momentarily, that. That is the best way I can think of coming close to describing it.This morning I feel great, sore, but happy. I think I’m looking forwards to next time too.
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If I’d answered this question a year ago, my answer would have been “Thanks but no thanks.” Occasionally during sex, my Sir would smack my ass right at the wrong moment and it had the effect of busting a balloon before it was really ready to pop. It left me bewildered and confused. Did not like it at all. However, and I don’t know if He was reading blogs or just started experimenting, but instead of a hard smack, He started a few caresses and taps that were playful, gentle, and totally erotic. It led to a bit more and a bit more and suddenly I liked them as long as it didn’t really hurt. Then as we started recognizing and formatting the D/s between us, one of the topics discussed was spanking as a consequence (He doesn’t like punishment – He prefers consequence, correction, or discipline). The first no-shit-spanking was hard on both of us, but He was creative in His approach which made it more bearable. He hated that he had to be so intense. I hated that I had disappointed Him while he was away from home and had to discipline me first thing. The strange part of it was that a) I could bear more pain/intensity than I ever expected, b) I found myself turned on which was a total surprise to both of us, and c) the aftercare and tenderness was so incredibly sweet that I knew all was forgiven. It definitely made me aware of my submissiveness in a different way. It’s also led to enjoying spankings for play (all I have to do is ask lol) and to be more mindful of His requests to avoid the corrective spankings. All in all, I think I’m becoming a major fan of them.
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We use spankings in an erotic/sexual/cathartic way. Spankings clear my mind and take away my stress. I’ve experienced healing from very old wounds by being brought to tears through a spanking. This was something that was very, very difficult for my Beloved to do. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that I actually wanted/needed it due to the abusive nature of my childhood. But after some deep discussion and establishing a safe word – he went to town.
I was high for a couple of days and then crashed because I couldn’t understand what had happened to me. After I processed the emotions, I realized I hadn’t really had a cathartic cry since the death of our first son years ago. Spanking has helped to coax my heart out from behind the protective shell it has been hidden behind for decades.
When done sensually the pleasure side of it is off the charts for me because of the endorphin rush I receive when I’m aroused. I love them and can’t believe I lived this long with out knowing how good it would be.
Oh! And they are helping me learn to keep my “inner bitch” under tighter control 🙂
Thank you Christian Grey!
Best,
Annie -
Last night Sir paddled me for the first time. I’ve had spankings before, with his hand. But this was different. The warmth that ran through me while always caressing my backside, easing his fingers into me after each hard stroke of his hand was sending bolts through me. I never wanted it to end. I don’t know what it is about it, but my body responds in such a natural way, allowing him to go far, warm my soul inside and out. I think I may ask for more later, it’s all I’ve thought about today.
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