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I love this life…
Hello fellow subbies!
I felt like writing a bit this morning….I’m certainly not eloquent but I hope the joy I receive from this life comes through…
Sir and I have always been a little Dominant and submissive. We never used the words but we always held those tendencies. We’ve been married 22 years and have two children, ages 19 and 20.
For some reason, in October, we began having talks about entering this type of life. Wow, those were some crazy talks. When I look back, I can giggle now. Some of his thoughts were quite outlandish and unrealistic. After a couple of break downs from me, we tabled the issue. However, I began to miss the closeness of the few rituals he wanted. I brought it back up and was told we wouldn’t discuss it again – that Sir didn’t want the roller coaster of emotions we were having. I asked again. And once again. After a wonderful discussion, we decided to jump back in. Sir was always scared that since both of our kids are in college, we would lose the connection that kept us together.
After several months of living this, we decided to have a Formal Acceptance in April. It was beautiful. I cried many tears as I read off my letter to Sir. We are never returning to vanilla life.
What excites me most about this life is not the sex – it’s the rules and rituals we share. Sir works away a LOT. I hate it. But, I’m incredibly thankful for his job. Sometimes it gets me down but Sir always brings me back.
Some of the rules I have are: I make the bed every day. I do not touch doors when Sir is with me. He orders for me when we are out. I serve Sir coffee every morning on my knees. I kneel before him with my head bowed. He takes his first sip, lifts my chin and thanks me. I also meet Sir when he gets out of the shower with a towel – again on my knees with my head bowed. Sir loves my head bowed as a sign of the respect I have for him. I must ask permission to eat – after he takes his first bite, even in public. I am to ALWAYS call him Sir. At night, I turn down his side of the bed, lay my night collar on his pillow, and kneel to hear any thoughts for the day and ask permission to join him.
I crave these little rules and rituals. When he’s gone, I rely on knowing these are “ours” to keep me sane. I know my vanilla friends would never understand how I love bowing my head for Sir and that’s okay. I have a wonderful community here that understands all these things we do.
Sir comes home on Thursday. I can’t wait. I’ll greet him and we will have our affirmation ritual – Sir’s favorite. I kneel before him and I receive my maintenance spanking. After each spanking, I recite a letter of SOAP. This is truly so important to both us. It centers me and brings me back to my role, especially since Sir is gone for weeks at a time. I’m sure it brings Sir back to his Dom role, as well. It’s really when I “pass the torch” back to Sir, if only for a few days.
I’m looking forward to all the play Sir has planned, too. But, that’s definitely not what keeps me loving this life. I feel like, even without a true 24/7 D/s marriage, we would have kept the play in the bedroom. I love this life due to the intimacy and closeness I have with Sir. We’ve never been happier. I love allowing Sir to dig deep and find that Dom part of his self. I love watching it grow. He’s definitely more confident in what he wants from me and I’m happy to oblige.
I wish I had friends at home who would understand this life I choose. But, it’s okay. Perhaps they will look at us and really wonder what the heck’s going on. haha. I hope they do. I’ve never felt more fulfilled….
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