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Letting Him In
I have always struggled with asking for help. I’ve always tried to help others and make sure everyone else I care about is okay before I take care of myself. Lately my job has been going south and I’ve been very stressed out about it. My Sir has been going through some stressful things as well and I’ve been putting my stress and problems in the back burner to take care of him. The only problem with that is it started to really get to me. I was starting to be disrespectful and snappy with him. He would keep asking me what was going on and I would respond with “nothing, I’m fine, just tired”. It’s like my go to saying it seems like. I could see he was getting frustrated because he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. It finally came out in an explosive anxiety attack one morning before I went to work. He told me I was staying home from work. I had broke. I couldn’t contain my stress anymore. I told him we should stop the D/s and he couldn’t understand why especially because things were finally starting to come together. I told him it was because I didn’t want to put too much on him. I didn’t want him to have to worry about me. We sat and talked for hours and he finally got me to realize that I can’t take care of him without taking care of myself. I hadn’t thought about it that way. He told me that I needed to start talking to him. Let him in to what’s going on with me. He said that if I really wanted to stop the D/s we could but that he didn’t think that was what I really wanted. He was right of course. I didn’t want to stop. I just hated feeling like a burden. But he helps me as my husDom to realize that he’s there to help bear my burdens. To lift me up and to take care of me. He cherishes me so much as his kitten and wife. We decided that we needed to get back to regular downtime every week and he even told me to start keeping a journal when I’m at work so I can write down what I’m feeling in the moment. So happy to be his kitten!
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