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The Difficult Side of Submission
As I had said if previous posts my Sir is embracing his Dominance more, which I love. Before this I was showing him I wanted to be submissive in my actions, calling him Sir and asking permission for things and listening when he said no. I would smile inside as I could see him growing as my dominant. In our last down time, i expressed that I needed his clear direction more on what he wants from me and what his expectations are from me and that I want him to direct me with me asking sometimes. Sir had told me that I question him still on somethings, and when I do it makes it hard for him.
Sir has been directing me more and asking more things of me which I do happily most of the time. But then it comes to that moment where he does not do or say something that i want him to and when he doesn’t I get irritated. I don’t want to be fussy or sassy so i just stop talking. Before I would snap back at him (which still slips out sometimes ). A small example of this. We where out, he told me the plan for the day. I had expressed that I wanted to do more shopping than he had planned for. Sir told me that we don’t have time today and that we would just get the essentials for this week. I got frustrated ( I wanted to do all the shopping in one trip ), I did not talk back. But during the shopping trip i was making quick movements, looking down and giving quick short yes or no answers when he asked me something and just was all around well just had a pissy attitude. Another Example from today: Sir told me about a concert that he wanted to try to go to and that he wanted to talk to me about it after dinner. Well on the way home i wanted to talk about it right then. I pressed him and he raised his voice and told me that I was doing it again.
I get so fearful that if it is not done right then that we wont do it. It will get pushed off to the back burner and never get done or talked about. I trust Sir to not hurt me physically during play, not hurt me mentally and to trust him to care for me. But why cant I trust that when he says we will do it, but not right now can’t I trust those words.He has not let me down when it comes to this, if he says we will we do. But that feeling is still there, i just can’t shake it.
Thank You for listening.
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4 Replies
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Dear lady,
Thank you for sharing your dynamic. Supporting our Dominants become the best leaders that they can be is an important task. D|s-M does allow us to discuss the fine points of leadership during downtime. Perhaps if you bring up the difficulties you had shopping, during the non-judgmental atmosphere of downtime, a solution can be found. Sir and I use the app Wunderlist. He makes a to-do list and I add to it on my phone. As we complete tasks together or separately we check them off. That way we both have time to complete those must-do tasks and I get to give my input. Items that are flexible are decided by Sir, and I obey him the best that I can. Good luck ironing out the details. Be patient as he learns his role.
Warm regards,
Belle -
Lady,
Thank you for sharing some insight within your dynamic. In time it will come to where it doesn’t bother you and you will trust when he says you both will do something at a later time. It takes patience which is hard for a lot of us Subbies. I too have had this issue before. When he says you two will do something and it does follow through over and over again you will begin to see that it will continue this way. Just give yourself and your sir time❤
Sending you Love,
Luna -
Remember that we are all still human, so beat yourself up too badly and just try to figure it out with your Sir…use downtime and just work on it lady! We are ALL still learning and working on our submission ALL THE TIME.
Smooches,
V -
Thank you all for your kind words and advice. All three advice ans support you all provide is so helpful. I helps me focus and put things in prespective. I sometimes expect too much of myself too fast.
I have talked to my Sir about my difficulties with this. He didnt say much, except hold me and comfort me. He always knows what to say and how to help me.
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