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My Silent Therapist
Sir and I have only been “official” since April and I have already toasted 2 big journals. It is the most important tool in mine and Sir’s relationship right now. I have ADHD and I tend to talk 100mph and switch topics fast. My Sir on the other hand needs time to think about everything before he speaks. For 14 years I thought he wasn’t listening because he didn’t love me. Turns out that he just couldn’t keep up with the conversion that I was trying to have at full throttle. Now I journal almost daily. Instead of overwhelming him every night with “word vomit” I wait until downtime and hand over my journal. He reads through it, goes back and reads it again, allows his brain to process everything one bit at a time, then begins the conversation. This way I feel like I am really being heard and he is able to address each thought one at a time. It has been soooo helpful! I am also really loving the new journal prompts LK is posting in the calendar. If you haven’t yet, click on the calendar and check it out. Her experience lends to some really good ideas on what to write about. I am on day two of the prompt she posted most recently. The flood gates are open and I am pouring my heart out in my journal. I can’t wait for downtime for Sir to read this! I am learning so much about myself that I never would have thought of. My journal has become like a therapist that doesn’t talk back. Do you have a submrs journal yet? I would love to know how other subbies are using theirs! Please comment below how yours has helped! Let’s encourage those who haven’t started journaling yet to get the emotional crap out in a constructive way. It really has helped me!
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This is great! I have thought so many times that I should start a journal. I love to write and it is the easiest way for me to express myself. This is encouraging because I think that this could be a great tool for me. I will try it this week and let you know how it goes!
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Yoz, thanks for sharing about your journaling success and encouraging subs to write in their journals and clear out the “emotional crap” — which there seems to be a lot of when starting d/s-m!
I had a hard time getting started with the journal, until Sir gave me 2 topics to write about as often as I felt I needed to: (1) something about the d/s-m journey and (2) anything stressful that happens during the day so I don’t ruminate about it all day.
He writes a question to me several times a week, with the goal of reconnecting and getting to know each other again. Questions range from “what is your favorite movie?” to “what did you like best about the scene last night?” Writing these questions in my journal was his idea! 🙂
Adding on to his idea — I’ve also been writing questions to him in my journal. He likes that as well!
The journal also serves as a starting point for downtime discussions.
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