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Our first foray into the world of kink
Last night Sir and I ventured out into a kink club for the first time. Overall, it was a positive learning experience, although we will probably not return to that particular group.
We were drawn to this particular event because there was a Shibari class being offered as part of Kinky Tuesdays at a local nightclub. We have been to this venue before and we didn’t have to be members, or be vetted prior to participating so that was a very non-threatening way for us to enter the scene. However, there was conflicting information from the club, the Kinky Tuesdays group, and the Shibari presenter about the start time of the event. We arrived at 9:05 since the club and the Kinky Tuesdays page both stated that doors open at 9:00. When we walked in, we saw two people warming up with a flogger and a bullwhip on the stage, and there were 3 St. Andrews Crosses and two suspension sets already in place. We thought “Great! We’re in the right place, we are just the first to arrive.” A few other people wandered in and mostly kept to themselves.
About an hour later, the organizer of the Kinky Tuesdays event and his female companion came over and introduced themselves to us. They were very welcoming and friendly but did not observe D/s protocols (The male shook my hand and spoke directly to me, the female gave us both unsolicited hugs, etc.) We just rolled with it because we didn’t want to seem unfriendly or arrogant. It didn’t upset us, but it did indicate to us that this was not specifically a D/s crowd. During our conversation, we learned that the Shibari class begins BEFORE the club opens to the public, and had been going on for an hour at that point, so we missed out.
There were many types of kink represented, but the crowd seemed to be predominantly young, single, and goth. Don’t get me wrong; I love goths. This is exactly the crowd I’d have hung out with 25 years ago. But this is not my tribe anymore. In fact there were very few couples, and none that made it clear through attire, demeanor, or body language that one person was a Dominant and the other was a submissive. Around 11 pm, the Shibari presenters did an onstage demonstration and had two young women trussed up and hanging from the ceiling in a variety of different poses. This was definitely the most interesting part of the evening. We may return the next time a Shibari class is being held, but our next attempt at socializing will be at a munch for one of the larger groups.
🙂
Staci - 4 Replies
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Hey Staci,
Wow! Y’all really stepped out. Glad you guys were able to roll with the punches, as it could have gone the other way.
Okay I know I said this in chat this morning but I thought I would put it here too; cause not every subby saw.So for any events, classes, meetings, or munches Sir and I always contact (usually by email) the host or leader for a list of rules and what to expect. Not all places have the same rules.
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Staci, unfortunately your experience is all to often the case. I hear it all the time. Sir and I have gone and we notified people before about protocols,meetings & times ect… Protocols should always be posted online before any event. Unfortunately, Those protocols listed are not always observed but as MG indicated she has experience on how to still observe your own protocol and how maybe your Sir can step in next time with a handshake and you with a nod so those awkward hugs don’t happen in the first place. It was a live and learn moment. I say Bravo!
We have attended a whole day type thing where they have a meeting/munch then you go to hotel where they put on class or you can buy things then they have play and people stay at hotel after. I was saddened by lack of real protocols as well. I watched a young girl no older then my daughter get referred to as “fresh-meat”, I was applaud by it. She seemed like she was just rolling with it. She seemed like she did not have much self esteem and any attention was better then none. I tried to talk to her and tell her not to play with people she did not know. This by the way was her very first experience going to a munch ect… But as I know most of these things are NOT really for Married Monogamous people. Most times if you see married people they do share or swing or let other’s play with their partners in one way or another. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that if that is the road you both decide to take, that road is not a monogamous one. As for Mr Fox and I, we have no real need to look outside one another for someone else’s attentions. We do enjoy finding other couples that feel the same and do TTWD and spending time with them talking and comparing notes. My Sir is too territorial to let another man touch me as I can’t stand the thought of another woman letting him touch her in any intimate way. We enjoy Domination and submission with just one another. But, I regressed sorry about that. I encourage everyone to go out and have that local experience so they can say they went and then can make an educated decision if that is the road you want to travel.
Also, watch local and google you bigger cities for just classes, rope ect… NO MUNCH or play, just a class to dip your toe in. You can both feel safe being in just an educational atmosphere that way. If you meet a couple there you can ask them what else they do.
ONE THING, YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE THAT ROAD … you can stay within your boundaries and not feel like you have to lower your values or change your good character to fit into someplace that does not have you or your husbands best interests, your marriage. Sir and I step out here and there and build our D/s-M the way we want as should all of you. Staci, You came, you saw and you conquered… Again Bravo!!!I wanted to also add, looking at the title of this post, the World of Kink, part, I remind everyone that KINK is not D/s-M, only. When you go to an event and in the description they use kink that means there are going to be all sorts of kinks there NOT just Domination and submission. Kink is in regards to human sexuality, kink is ANY unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. Most times in events they want to bulk everyone together and be all inclusive. So just realize when taking your huDOM’s there the first time he will be introduced to all kinds of KINK not just D/s-M. So, for those of you that are new to any lifestyle dynamic, tread lightly on what you expose your Sir for the first little while. Most times I recommend that you let some time go by before you explore an outside kink event, other then a D/s related class or munch. Something to discuss together in downtime. Both of you decide when the time is right together to explore KINK.
Our gathering in NOLA you will receive a whole list of protocols and rules. We also try to post each event if there are any expected. This is something we also tell you and your Sir to communicate about as well before.
In NOLA we will be casual friends at meet and greet so we usually shake hands and by end of evening most are comfortable to hug goodbye and ask certainly before doing so. Usually Sirs do not hug others subs but if we are friends outside the gathering you will see us hug DOM and sub at the Meet & Greet. The Themed Dinner we go high protocols during dinners… it will be all spelled out for you, so NO worries. Other outings we are together and are just respectful to all, just as you would be as a vanilla couple. By the end you are smiling hugging other subs goodbye and waiting for the next year to get here. Any questions do NOT hesitate to ask…
HUGS! LK
*** Reminder it is against the TOS, Terms of Service to promote any gatherings or places by name here on the site or chatrooms… I appreciate it. LK
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Thank you for your reply LK! Sir and I are also 100% monogamous but we have gotten some feedback that the Houston scene has plenty of non-sharing couples. We are so excited for the NOLA gathering because we know we will be able to socialize and explore the dynamic without any pressure to play with others. October can’t come soon enough!!!
Hugs!
Staci
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Thanks for sharing Staci I was so excited for you I told Master all about it and even told him that I googled a local club that does classes. He and I are both very interested in rope. I am sad that you missed the class but it was good that you got to go out and experience the “scene”.
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