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Any Advise welcome
Hi I’m Crystal. My husband and I just started trying this out. So far we’ve had a lot of fun with the experience. We don’t incorporate this into out entire lives but in the bedroom he is my Sir. Out side of the bedroom we are equal partners in life without all the Sir’s and stuff. As much fun as it all is my husband and i both agreed that we do not want this lifestlye to come out of the bedroom. What made you guys choose to live your lives this way? (Curious) For those of you new like me what drew you to BDSM. At first fr me and my husband we just wanted to spice up our sex and turned out we liked it a lot so we came to the decision together that we would like to try it a little more of it. That’s why we are here. So far I’ve had good experiences. I’m terrified about trying somethings but I’m willing to try at least everything once. I can’t wait to see what this new journey will bring for my husband and I.
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9 Replies
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Hi Crystal!!!
We have only been doing the 24/7 thing since August. We had been dabbling in this BDSM thing for a while. We came to the conclusion that it never stuck because we were not approaching it right and for us this website has helped us tremendously be able to “substain” the relationship 24/7. For us it started as a curiosity. What would that be like? So we tried it and liked it. Then we tried something else and it keeps going. Sir read on the husdom side that if it is right it will naturally happen. So we talk about an action or topic and try and see how it feels. One thing we have learned from this community is that every DS relationship is different. For me personally, taking it out of the bedroom was like having the weight of the world taken off my shoulders. We still talk about everything but I defer to his final judgement. I only use Sir when we are alone or texting. There have only been 2 situations outside of that where we have used sir and I felt safe in the environments to do so (one was a sex shop and the second a dungeon). Sir and I have decided slow and steady is our best approach. Since we took it out of the bedroom, our connection has grown in ways I could never imagine. We are slowly adding routines and rules but not trying to over complicate things. Don’t know if this help 🙂 -
Thanks that helps a lot. Its hard starting something like this due to judgment and im just glad Ive found like minded people. Im nervous about it. Really nervous to be honest. I find myself already wanting to be enough for him and I know that i am but im so insecure. Im excited to try this with him and for him. I’d do anything for him. He’s my husband and love him. I just want this to be a good experience for us. Thank you though for sharing. It does help a lot.
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One other thing I can share is take time to read all the blogs. There is so much incredible information in the blogs – it has helped me so much.
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Hi Crystal,
I’m Staci… hopelessly in love with my Dom (wmizell on HusDom) for 6 years and married for 5. D/s-M for 3 months. Two kids at home (10 and 13) here in Houston.
We began this journey because I was reading a BDSM novel and when Sir asked what I was reading, I showed it to him. He was intrigued, and we started talking about the Dom characteristics that he already possessed and how taking that a step further would be freeing for both of us. The crazy thing is that when we first met I was still affected by some earlier experiences that left me very traumatized and inhibited. So, the day that I submitted and said I was going to put all of my trust in him and have NO hard limits… that was a huge step. We aren’t just bedroom BDSM, but we aren’t 24/7 either. I have a professional job and I don’t tend to overshare about our sex life with my friends or family, but I am by no means ashamed of this. I don’t think there is anything wrong with submitting to my husband, and if anyone were to ask me about the silver collar around my neck, I would tell them the truth.
I’m glad you are finding this community to be helpful. Why are you nervous?
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I’m a big worrier. Change is not an easy thing for me. I think honestly that is a big part of the reason I enjoy bdsm as much as I do.
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Hi Crystal,
I’m Samantha. I’m currently in a relationship with my Sir. We first got together after talking for hours about some personal issues I was going through in January 2015. We decided to “try each other out” one night, both of us not realizing the potential of us staying together. He was married previously and the divorce was finalized one month after we got together. It was a very hard fight for his kids (now 12 and 10). Sir has made it very clear that he is not interested in marriage at the time, and I accept it.
In November 2016, I felt unappreciated by both him and his kids. I left him for four excruciatingly painful days. After the first day, we started talking more about what I felt and what he felt. On the fourth day, he asked me to come back under one condition…I submit completely to him. At the time I didn’t understand, but he knew I had read/watched “50 Shades of Grey” and explained that was what he wanted. I was hesitant in my mind, but my heart started to race and screamed “YES!!!”
We didn’t really “fulfill” the requirements because he got sick after I returned and everything went back to the way it was before I left. About a month ago (March 2017), I told him I needed us to start over again. He agreed. So we started over.
I’m very stubborn and don’t like ANYBODY knowing me beyond the walls that I built around my heart in order to protect myself. But I know Sir wants the best for me, and he is very patient with me. I understand more than ever how important communication is. That is why we live the lifestyle 24/7 (or at least try to). If I don’t live it 24/7, I digress and forget everything I have learned and start building my walls again. If I am to progress and tear down my walls and learn to put my full trust in my Sir, I have no choice but to live it 24/7.
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Hi samantha! I feel like we are kindred spirits with our sub names!!! Haha I’m so glad that you have found someone worth bringing down those walls for. I was the same way myself. I grew up too fast for my age and dealt with thing no child should have. But I came out on top. (And not just because Sir likes me that way.) hehe. It’s amazing what this new exploration with my husband has taught me not just about myself but about my husband. It has mad us so much stronger as a couple. We communicate so much better now and express ourselves to each other so much more. It’s amazing. It’s like I’m falling in love all over again and oh goodness the feeling is like none other! No drug could ever compare to the feelings my Sir awakened inside of me. (It terrifies me yet excites me in all the right places)
I wish you the best with your Sir! -
Hi Crystal, for us it just felt natural to be 24/7. In fact, we were never “bedroom only”! It was like a switch getting flipped (not that there aren’t struggles with vanilla stuff sometimes!). Every relationship is different, and every couple needs to do what works for them. For instance, we play with higher protocol but our day-to-day protocol is pretty relaxed. Yet He is my Master. To us, our relationship feels fun and sexy, and runs much more smoothly now! We were in a bad place before D/s-M, and now things have improved 1000%. He feels respected, and I feel cherished. I wouldn’t go back for a million bucks. I’m sure you guys will find what’s right for you, too! Best of luck on your journey.
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Oh that’s so awesome to hear. I’m so glad that things have turned around for you and that you were able to get closer with you master. Thank you so much for sharing!
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