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Trouble
A bit of back story. My husband and I had drifted apart pretty far. It was fall of last year that I got suspicious something was going on. I snooped (it’s what I do). I found he was playing an online role playing game where women were commodities to be used by men as they see fit. He was flirting heavily with a few of the women from the game. He also had started talking with one woman specifically regarding potentially doing cyber sex in a private chat. This same women was also close to where one of his travels for work went. He had gone out of his way to ensure she knew he’d be visiting the area. Needless to say I was livid and heart broken. He admitted he had taken things way to far and blurred the lines between reality and fantasy. He stopped playing the game, closed his Facebook account (he was using messenger to talk to many of these gals outside of the game), and canceled his business trip. It was during my investigation into thing I found I liked some of the concepts of the game as well, such as female submission to a dominant male. We introduced the lifestyle as part of the healing process. It’s been wonderful. We’re closer than ever. Today though the woman from the game popped up on my Facebook feed. I ended up looking through conversations he had had with women from the game. I’m finding it hard to want to submit now. He’s had all these fantasy women obeying his every command, I don’t see how I can stack up. That doesn’t even take into account the submission fantasy porn he was watching as well. He loves me I know he does and he’s stopped every action that could be seen as betrayal on my part. I enjoy submission to him, I really do. How do I compete with the images and conversations that are now in my head and have been in his head all along? I don’t want to throw this in his face he really is trying. What do I do? You gals are the only ones I know who might understand this.
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