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Advice, please: Getting into subbie mindset
I really struggle sometimes with getting into a submissive mindset after I get home from work. Does anyone else have this issue, and if so, have you been able to use any techniques that reset your mind? It’s been a real struggle lately for me to switch roles when I get home. Any ideas??
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5 Replies
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Hi Liebchen
My husband & I are fairly new to this lifestyle and I work too so know where you are coming from! We have 2 young children so I don’t have a lot of time early evening. I always get in from work first so I normally fix my makeup & hair so I look nice for when Sir arrives home. I also have a little routine where I fluff the cushions on the sofa and smooth the covers on the bed (I often don’t have time in the morning). I also prepare Sir’s lunch ready for the next day. By the time he arrives home I am generally always in the right mindset & he is pleased that I have done my chores. Why not ask your Sir if there are a few little things you could do for him when you get in to please him and make him feel special??
I’m sure there are many more experienced subbies on here who will give you more advice but thought I’d share what works for me.
take care
KatieBoo xxx -
I am a newer sub too so this is just what works for me. I have certain music that I only listen to when I am totally sub minded. I’ve listened to the same thing so often during play and getting ready for play that hearing even one song totally puts me in a submissive mindset. Hope that helps ?
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Thank you for the replies, KatieBoo and SubAndi! You gave me some good ideas, and I’m also just glad to know I’m not the only one who’s had the same issue.
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Thanks for posting this! I find that I struggle getting into a subbie mindset when Sir does something I’m not particularly thrilled about. I enjoy being submissive, but I don’t think I’m naturally a very submissive person. I really like the challenge of being submissive, I like how Sir responds to my submissiveness, and I guess in a way, I feel like, if he can shut me up, then he’s earned it.
But here’s where I’m struggling: there are some things, I just don’t trust yet. I don’t trust him with regard to how downright domineering he is with our children. Sometimes he’s just mean to them, and I feel like I have a responsibility to them to speak up. I’m literally asking him to be firmer with me, and he can’t bring himself to do it, but with our children… they aren’t even asking for it. I know this must emasculate him when I verbally place myself between him and the kids, but I’m at a loss for how to handle this situation, keeping my children’s emotional wellbeing in mind, as a priority.
Second, I don’t always feel like he has my best interests at heart. I try, being a sub, to never, ever decline sex, but it’s frustrating when he knows I’m exhausted because we’ve been traveling or moving, etc, and he still demands sex. Either he’s oblivious to my exhaustion or just doesn’t care. As a sub, how should I handle this? -
Dear Sugarpushes
I want to reassure you that there is probably not a wife or a mother out there that has never had the feelings you have described on some level. I think it’s important that you ask yourself is this the right time in my life to be seeking this level of submission or D/s-M. I’m not saying ANY level of submission or D/s-M just just how much of it is right for you in your life right now.
Batty
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