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From Submissive to Leader and back again
For those of you whose husdoms travel for work, how do you handle the transition from Submissive to Leader? How do you acclimate once again to the Submissive upon his return? When my Sir is away for extended periods of time and with little communication I am thrust into the role of leader. Leader of the household, decision maker, mother, father, teacher, and many more! Upon his return I struggle so much with giving up the control once again and the ability to let him lead. I want to give up the control but just can’t seem to do so. It is exhausting to wear so many hats and one of the reasons I wanted to try this lifestyle. It takes so long for us to find our footing after these separations and not only for me but my children. They always want to come to me or ignore what their father has asked simply because they no longer view him as the leader in our household. When we do eventually work through all of the kinks in the transition it is yet time again for him to depart. I do love what this has brought to our marriage in the last 1-2 years but it always creates more challenges due to his schedule.
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4 Replies
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Great question. We are new to the dynamic and Sir has not traveled yet, but will be the next three weeks of January, (three days out of each week). And travels often for his job.
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Dear Cocoa,
thank you for posting ! Many of us here have traveling Sirs ….mine is gone lots! I think LK has posted some on this too ….look in the forms 🙂 Here are a few of my own shares :
If you have not; I think sitting down as a family and explaining your roles to the children would be helpful . I would make it clear when Sir /Dad is home he is the go to …decision maker, leads the family. If its something that can wait …let it wait and have the children get with Sir. That will help the children understand Sir is the head of the house. It will be important if they come to you …you send them to Sir.
Maybe start thinking YIPPIE Sir is home , I know have one role subMrs 😉
For us TRANSFER of Power is KEY …talk about it in DT …what will work for you both to …give the power back. For us , I have a certain necklace I wear when Sir is gone…he puts it on …takes it off upon return. Just that brief …moment starts me back to where I want/belong
I understand totally it can be hard…especially with children. You can Make it work , with some planning Lots of Communication ! Hearts, Curvey
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I love the necklace idea. Master is a fireman/paramedic so he’s often gone 3 to 4 days then home for 5 then gone again. It’s very hard to yo-yo back and forth. Love the input here.
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Here is a link to the Blog post that I think you were talking about, Curvey.
https://submrs.com/domination-and-submission-rituals-rules/
-Meaux
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