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Surrender in a D/s M lifestyle
I wrote this back in 2014 in my journal it took me a few months to sort through my thoughts, feelings and emotions on what surrendering and submitting truly meant to me.
In the world of D/s-M it’s a dance of dominance and submission is an act of love between spouses. It’s an acceptance of the roles we choose to live by in our married life. For some it is learned…for others it comes naturally…yet others fall into it for many other reasons. It can be as beautifully simple as deeply complex and to expect any less of a lifestyle such as D/s -M, would be to do it injustice.
On the surface, the notion of giving yourself for pleasure alone…of wanting for nothing more than to serve your Sir…appeals deeply for so many. It can look idealistically romantic from a distance. But what about within? What drives someone to surrender their control to their spouse?
For me…submission isn’t about being a submissive person full time. I don’t define myself in terms of dominant or submissive in my day to day life. I am who I am without any labels. However I am submissive only to one MAN, and who I call Sir. To Sir I have given my control. Why?
Perhaps it’s not an easy question for me to answer. I spent a great deal of the early part of my journey delving into my psyche and all the why’s and what fore’s of this path I have chosen. I’ve now reached a point where the thought is evaporating. I have no need to understand the whys and what fores. I have come to a point of acceptance and it just is. It shouldn’t be misconstrued as apathy or complacency…far from it. The internal workings of my partnership with Sir are very much my focus, rather than the reasons I am here at all. Within the surrender to Sir, there is freedom for me. There is openness and vulnerability and Sir sees me for who I really am. There is nowhere to hide and Sir accepts me completely. Sir is worthy of these things.
In my mind, this is part of the surrender. This is scratching the surface and seeing what is underneath. This is seeing what we’re really made of….of seeing what substance there is…and whether the foundations are strong. It’s accepting and trusting Sir’s guidance to a point where it no longer becomes a question of why it happens, but an acceptance that it happens.
We spend most of our lives working towards control of some kind. From our very first steps of independence to finally breaking free of our parents establishing ourselves as controllers of our own destinies. Mostly, we try to make the right choices that go towards maintaining a healthy control over ourselves and our children…if we have them. And I know I worked hard to do that. So how is it reconciled that I control my day to day life…and surrender control to my Sir?
There are obligations I must fulfill in order to function as a healthy woman/mother. I must take care of my body and my health. I must keep my mind active and strive to learn and expand it in as many ways as possible. I need to be strong with those who wear me down. It’s an obligation to Sir, that I give it my best shot at controlling these day to day things…for my own benefit. There is no one else in this world who can do these things for me…the ultimate responsibility lies on my shoulders. Our Sir’s cannot fix all our problems and sometimes the relinquishment of responsibility can be confused with surrendering control. In order to be the very best I can be for Sir I must first and foremost, be the very best I can be for me. From that… am free to surrender my control to Sir. He oversees is perhaps one way of putting it. I always know in my mind and my heart, that Sir is there supporting my efforts to be the best I can be. And I know that if I don’t fulfill my obligations I will have to answer to Sir.
But the surrender is deeper than that. The surrender goes to the very core of my existence. This is who I am! That’s only something that I have just come to terms with. This very much becomes a switch of focus between what I have just talked about, and Sir’s needs and desires with no thought to my own. These are complex thoughts. In saying that there is no thought to my own needs and desires, isn’t negating that I have them. It means that I trust that Sir has my needs and desires in his mind as part of Sir’s own needs and desires. In my surrender to Sir, my focus is on Sir…not on myself. It is Sir’s role to take care of what is his.
I guess in the beginning this was very much like jumping off a cliff…falling into a vast abyss…and not knowing whether I’d just fall, hit the bottom, or if I’d be caught. The joyful surprise was that I flew. With Sir holding my hand… I flew.
Sir has challenged me in many ways. Sir has stirred the animal inside me and Sir has led me into a whole new world of self-discovery and sexuality. It’s both shocked me and excited me. I have touched parts of my sensual being that I didn’t even know existed. I have stirred Sir’s depths too. As sexual beings…we’ve danced a wonderfully erotic and intense dance of lovers. I lose myself completely in Sir once Sir has reclaimed what is his. Once I am taken, without thought, I exist for nothing more than to receive Sir into my body. It’s my only purpose to be used and loved and treated as Sir Wants. Sir pushes me to that point where I can’t hold back anymore….where I am so at Sir’s mercy and have surrendered my heart and soul completely. Sir peels back the layers until it’s just me there in all my absolute vulnerability may it be good or bad. And Sir Lets my tears flow…kisses them away there is always a beautiful calm afterwards. Feeling completely surrounded by Sir’s love, Sir’s warmth and Sir’s strength. Feeling protected. As I said at the very beginning, the surrender of control is an act of love. It’s something that can freely be given and accepted within a strong foundation of love, trust, honesty, respect and acceptance. My surrender is complete!
LT♥ -
5 Replies
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Beautifully expressed LT. Thank you for sharing. This is helpful to a newbie sub such as myself. I have a feeling I will read and reflect on your words often in the coming months. <3
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RRsub Thank you and I’m glad it helped you. ♥
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Lts this was lovely to read. I actually just finished writing my first journal entry and in it was part of this question. In time I hope my answer evolves so I can state it better instead of the stumbly attempt it is at now. After reading this though I am more sure now it will I just need to give it time is all. Thank you
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Puddingpop thank you, It took me 4 months to start this in my journal and another 4 months more of noting my feelings I felt before I realized to just let it be simple and the truth you feel inside. There is no pressure to be or put a name on it, just write in your journal what your surrender truly means to you and why, nothing forced….that is when you feel the freedom to admit to yourself first who you truly are and why. ♥
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Well said LT ! You are a wise amazing submissive ! One of my goals is to write more in my journel 2017. I find its very interesting to read back and see how far we have come and what we have built !
Hearts,
Curvey
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