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Honesty
I wanted to start a topic today as we head into the weekend. I went back and forth on several topics I could bring up, but honesty is the one I think we all need to make sure is solid. So, today we are discussing honesty.
We know honesty is one of the foundations of a great D/s-M relationship but what does that mean? When you hear the word honesty, I’m sure many of you nod your head and say “yes, be honest. Got it”. But let’s dive deeper……honesty not only refers to being honest with your partner but also making sure you are honest within yourself! To do this, you must go within. (“If you don’t go with in, you go with out”) but why go within? Why do we have to look at ourselves first?
Those are very deep questions I want you all to think about this weekend. I want each of you at every turn this weekend to ask if you are being honest with yourselves. Ask yourself “how do I truly feel?” “Why do I feel this” “why do I want D/s-M?” “How will D/s-M truly affect who I am?”
You see, to get to the heart of this amazing journey, and to get to the soul of this dynamic…..you absolutely must become totally honest. Yes, with your partner but first and foremost with yourself. Once you start to truly listen to your inner voice you will finally be able to communicate to your partner your wants and needs. But if you do not know your true wants and needs, then you will not be able to communicate it to your partner…..
I know, I know. Seems so simple and almost silly because of the simplicity. But I guarantee for many of you, you have not actually sat and became honest with yourself first.
So here is my homework for you this weekend……start a journal. An honesty journal. Every thought you have ask “is that how I honestly feel?” Find out your deepest desires and write them out. Stop listening to your head, and start feeling with your heart. Get to know the real you and how you hope through your honesty you will be able to better sever yourself, your partner and your relationship.Feel free to comment, ask questions or write your thoughts as the occur this weekend.
I have so much love and respect for each of you and hope you have a fabulous weekend!!!!
Xoxo~KLB -
4 Replies
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Bravo KLB…. What do you have if you don’t have honesty. You can’t be partly honest and you can’t half way lie….. Most important to be honest to yourself. If you can’t be honest to yourself then you can not be honest to everyone else. How you get from your head to your heart is write first, this is how I feel about…. Not what happened but how that made you feel. Thank you for your insight. HUGS! LK
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Thanks for this exercise, KLB – good one.
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So the day I wrote in my journal about being honest to myself, I started with “how do I truly feel”
Excited, obviously – the newness sure hasn’t worn off. Our relationship seems so shiny and fresh right now. I know that it won’t always stay here, someday that roller coaster will take us down a plunge and we’ll need to climb back up again.
Thinking beyond the high of starting a D/s relationship, I realized that I am a bit nervous. Not bad nervous, not “oh, did I do the right thing” nervous … but a good nervous. I think it goes back to letting go of the control. I sort of explained it to myself like this – before I put my husband down in front of HusDom, and before I got down on my knees it was all a fantasy. As such, totally in my control. Exciting, dangerous, all of that. Now that it has become real, it very necessarily has a partner in the development of the reality. Very much still exciting, dangerous, but not 100% in my control. It is in “our” control.
I very much want my submission, his Dominance, to go very right and continue to strengthen our relationship. Plus, that -m part of the acronym is in the forefront of our discussions. We are mindful of the fact that this is our FAMILY, and our lifetime commitment to one another, and that however this develops it needs to be respectful of those items.
So, nervous. I don’t know that it was the word I thought I would come up with! However, it’s in my journal now so he will read it eventually and I am sure we can talk about it.
I can also truly say phrases like “I can’t believe this is my life” and “why didn’t we discover this ages ago” and “I feel like this is a game changer for our relationship…”
Meaux (meow) … overthinker much?
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way to go meaux!!!!!! awesome job!!!!!
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