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Journey to submissive.
I am as an open wound. I am laid bare. I am so full and yet so empty at the same time. I feel as if nothing else matters. I give my submission freely and it overwhelms me with joy and love.
I fought for so long with myself and with my husband about what submission is and how much of my life and myself I was to submit.
I have submitted, wholly, freely and entirely. I feel as if I have nothing left, and everything at the same time. I am submissive. I am a submissive. I am submissive to my God and my husDom. I need absolutely nothing else right now. I submit all of me 24/7, and I need only to please my God and my Sir.
My studies and work do not matter today. The outside world does not matter today. I long only for his approval. I long to recite my SOAP for him and have him tell me it pleases him.
I know logically I have other things to do. I need to go do my studies and house chores. We both have daily responsibilities but in this newness, I am bound. I am held as if in a warm blanket. The raw, bare emotion of pleasure in being submissive. I am immersed in pleasing my husDom. There is absolutely nothing I want more right now. I believe I am pleasing God by my submission through accepting my husband’s dominance and obeying his commands. I serve his needs and want in the depths of me to please his desires. I want him to dominate me, to take me, to ask me to do his will.
I am laid bare before the altar of God and the feet of my husDom. I am no longer fearful of losing who I was or “myself”. I am new, I am whole and I feel more love, value and respect than I ever have. I need his affirmation as I need air in my lungs. I desire his touch as waves upon the ocean. It is no longer about me though it is about him. I am inspired by him, loved and cared for because my life and my pleasure is his. I am only pleased if he is pleased by my submission.
I understand we will both make mistakes. I definitely will. I understand it is not perfect, because we are not perfect. I never ever thought that I would feel the most freedom and arousal from kneeling naked and collared at my husDom’s feet. It is now my greatest joy.
It pains me to not be able to share this with my closest friends. I am more at peace and have more joy than I ever have.
Even when my emotions are raw and I am unable to function for a while due to the intensity of these new emotions and feelings, I am so filled with love, peace and joy.
My life has changed. I am trying to truly get my head around the heart/spirit and body right now.
I am submissive, and I am a submissive for my husband, my husDom, my best friend and my love. Everyday, in everything I serve, obey, accept and please him. -
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