• Brand Spanking (ha!) New

    Posted by Unknown Member on at

    Hello!  Husband and I have enjoyed bondage sex the last several years.  It’s very exciting for me to allow him all control in the bedroom.  Now he is wanting to bring it out of the bedroom… I am scared to death.  He doesn’t work in the same town we live in.  Sometimes he is home for a weekend and then will be gone for 2 weeks.  It’s a pretty horrible situation but it’s a great job and pays college for our kids.   Last week he came home and we were to being our transition.  I waited for him as he instructed.  Only panties, on the floor, kneeling.  When he raised my chin and asked me to repeat our affirmation tears fell down my cheeks.  It was so emotional.   When he led me to the bedroom, it just got worse.  I ended up crying like a baby while in handcuffs and ankle shackles.  I couldn’t get into my headspace.  I took a bath with my husband sitting by the tub constantly running his fingers through my hair or holding my hand.  We went back to bed soon after and made passionate love.  I think it’s exactly what we both needed at the time.  The next day was spent in service to him without any real D/s names. I just did what I knew he wanted.   He’s away again and wants to truly commit.  When I told him my worries today about losing who I am, he said he wanted to suspend this and continue our wonderful and loving marriage.  He told me over and over he was okay.  But, deep down, I know he wants to try and see if this will work for us.   Advice?  Suggestions?  I have read and read and read from this wonderful page all day today.  You ladies are fabulous.  

    Unknown Member replied 4 years, 4 months ago 6 Members · 7 Replies
  • 7 Replies
  • 650s

    Member
    at

    Hi! :wave: We havn’t chatted but this sounds like something I would do. IDK if I’m reading this right, but it sounds like you’re just scared and nervous, like there aren’t other negative emotions going on besides that. Assuming I’m reading you correctly, I would suggest that you ask him for reasurances, you can probably guess how often you’ll need them, maybe every day, maybe every week. You decide. It’s easier to have more then tell him that he can step it back, than to keep asking for more. As far as what kinds of things? Maybe rules about feeding your YOUness, maybe encouraging words, or rewards for feeding your inner-self. Aside from that, I’d say, think about how much serving him really feeds you. I never was a service oriented person before D/s, but now… it’s like serving Sir ᏩᏯ is my way of being able to show him how much I appreciate all he does for me. I know how hard it is having your Sir gone. Mine is away from home Monday through Thursday (sometimes Friday) every week from spring thru fall, sometimes more. I’ve tried to find little things that help me feel connected to him while he’s gone, because for me that loss of connection is the hardest. Sir ᏩᏯ told me one particularly tough week, that we have become one, so it makes sense that I struggle while he’s away because half of me is missing. Come chat in the “All Members Chat”, Being in the chat helps me so much with that because by talking about my sumbission with the other subbies, I feel closer to my Sir ᏩᏯ. Hugs!!! Also, feel free to DM me if you want. 

    A bit more about me: I’m 46, Sir ᏩᏯ(Daddy-64) and I have been married for 17yrs. We’ve been in D/s since Jan. and we have 6 grandblessings. I have 2 adult girls (26 & 23), and we have an 11yo special needs son who I homeschool. I have an autoimmune disease and make jewelry when I have the energy. ( ᏩᏯ/ᎤᏍᏗ Cherokee for Wolf/little one.)

    • Unknown Member

      Deleted User
      at

      Thank you!!  I’m new here.  Where is the all members chat?  🙂

      • DB-SirJ

        Member
        at

        In the bottom right corner of your screen, there should be a little circle with two chat bubbles. If you click on that, a list of chat rooms and online members should pop up. If you are on your phone, it will likely open a whole new window. If you are on a laptop, it will just open a little window in the corner. You will find the “All Members Chat” there.

  • guinevere-mr-sky

    Member
    at

    Hi, I can tell you that I think this is a common issue among us. That being said I can tell you what we do. Mr Sky and I have been married 42 years, he has always been my best friend. We found DS/m about a year ago and our life has changed dramatically. We were always a little kinky in the bedroom but like most couples we grew apart as kids grew up and such. We started slowly with a couple of rituals and mostly respect and service (as a Nurse that kinda comes naturally) it has grown from there. LK suggested downtime to help us communicate better and that has been a lifesaver. we still have our downtime every Sunday without fail. that makes all those little things that build up over time go away. 

    So to address about losing who you are, for me I am a strong capable and somewhat bossy at work. At home I am truly submissive and respectful(unless I get bratty) it does work for us and I feel that not only have I found myself but I also reduced my stress ten fold.

    good luck on your journey

    Quinn

  • subMarie-CSM

    Member
    at

    Welcum to subMrs, southernsub!  

    For many couples, moving to a 24/7 power exchange (https://submrs.com/power-exchange-2/) is a natural evolution from bedroom submission.  You need to dig deep and understand what you are afraid of losing.   

    I can only speak from my experience.   I feel like I am evolving into a better wife, lover, and mother.  I am not the same person I was in my teens, 20’s, or 30’s.  The evolution has been nothing short of incredible for our marriage.  We have never been closer than we are now.  Being a submissive does not mean I do not have a voice. I always give my recommendation or concerns.  But I trust him to always make the best decision and guide our family.  The people closest to us see the difference and comment all the time how we act like two loved crazed teenagers.  

    I have had many moments of that emotional release you experienced. I think it is 30 years of bottled up emotion and walls coming down.  I am more open and vulnerable than I have even been.  The conversations that we have are deep. We are sharing our needs and desires and in return we are fulfilling them.  It is actually pretty amazing!  It is a circle of feeding one another. (https://submrs.com/bdsm-ds-married-lifestylesubmisson-being-fed-from-the-circle-power-exchanges/

    There are several on this site who have traveling Sirs.  Search the forum for some advice on how to make this kind of dynamic work. It is possible.  LK has a post on a “Passing the Torch” ritual she has with Mr. Fox. It is for Premium members:  https://submrs.com/dominance-and-submission-ritual/. 

    I chose to live with no regrets!  I hope you give it chance! (https://submrs.com/no-regrets-submissive-feelings/) Cum join us in the All Members Chat!  We’d love to get to know you and share our diverse experiences with you!   

    sub-Hugs! subMarie

    Power Exchange

  • jade-slysaint

    Member
    at

    All the above. 

    For me letting go and leaning into the submissive role I found myself versus the fear of losing me. The more we are in our roles the more me I feel. Just had a very vanilla weekend where our entire family was down with fevers and I spiraled hard. Clicking in helps so much. If you want it, lean in, let go and find the freedom in His dominance and your submission. 

  • Unknown Member

    Deleted User
    at

    Hello again, ladies!  You all give me such power.  It’s just amazing.  I am hoping I find the same feelings you all do in my submission.  I am ready to head into this 100%.  I pray it works for us.  

    Daddy wants this so much.  He is a part of the HusDom site.  He’s been so happy with the other Gentlemanly Doms he’s ready about.   Neither of us want a slave relationship.  We want ours to be based on love and trust – which is everything I have read here.  It’s so uplifting here!!  I am in total awe of you all.  

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