Sexual Energy, Dominance and submission, Married Dominance and submission, Dominant husband, Married submissive, D|s-M

Sexual energy is usually described as something noticed when attracted to someone. Our bodies can feel a rush and our private areas feel a “tingly heat”.  Your heart begins to pound and you feel excited or “turned on”.  This is a superficial explanation to something that is so much more, or SHOULD be.  Could sexual energy just only be our RAW animal instincts? I began Dominance and submission due to reading a book. It was so inspiring because of the emotion and sexual energy that the couple in the book shared. I knew it would fit us like a glove.


 When Mr Fox and I started to do our scenes/play it was PURE MAGIC, actual ELECTRICITY passed between us. We felt it, others felt it. So we began to reveal more of what our deepest desires and experiment until we created and put into practice this energy between us, a drug, neither of us can EVER give up.  In our journey of 7 years in D/s and even in creating a method for married couples to enjoy D|s-M magic, we only had scraped the surface of the possibilities that sexual energy has to offer.

All couples have a vast capability & talent for sexual energy, which sadly we leave untapped. This sexual energy is not only a real part of our life force, but it has the power, when used properly, to heal your body, minds and spirit.  Sexual energy can bring you endless amounts of pleasure, change your mindset and bring you a full spiritual awakening. First, sexual energy helped me find myself, find my strength. Second, IT SAVED MY MARRIAGE! D|s-M saved us. Raw sexual energy worked for us and we now know how to work it. Now we are going deeper at, 

It Feels Like

The sexual energy that I have experienced can be hot or cold. It feels electric. It’s a pull or a push. I can even describe it as a sound, a buzzing. Sometimes its a state of mind or a color you feel yet may not see. It’s red, yellow, blue, white. It can take you outside of yourself. It can take you sooo deep internally that you never want to return back into yourself. When you learn to harness it with your husband or partner and use it together it makes you and what you’re doing together magical, unstoppable and irrevocably part of you and your relationship. Your husband has his part in it just as you have yours. Your purpose is different than his and you both work toward different internal goals.

The First Time

The first time I tasted it was when Mr. Fox had me standing with my wrists cuffed above my head, used the flogger among other tools on my body until my mind was happily flying.  He took me down and we began to have sex, I laid on my back, yet I could see Mr. Fox’s back.  I could feel his sweat falling on my forehead yet I could see his muscles straining in his back and ass.  So, my mind then did something, the magic started happening, I opened my body to him further, I began wanting to work my body for him. I moved and worked hard to connect with this invisible energy he had, that I could see.  I had to make sure his energy would connect with mine.  It did and I was sold FOREVER! 

What You Share

You and your husband will share something so special that you may not be able to share with anyone else ever. Hell, you may not have shared sexual energy as of yet in your D|s-M dynamic. I know that even if Mr. Fox and I shared sexual energy with anyone else it wouldn’t or couldn’t be the same as what we have achieved together. Your experiences can not be duplicated with anyone else. You may never be able to achieve what you have with him ever again. That’s why if it’s good, you should coddle it, shape it and treat it with great care. You both have made your very own sexual energy finger print. Your sexual mixture is unique, no two the same. This connection will open things inside of you and him that you may have never seen or may have only suspected in the past.

New Vulnerabilities

New vulnerabilities will come into play as you share and connect in your sexual energy. We as submissives know about this a little bit already with the play we have already experienced. We have experienced connection with our own sexual energy but may have not ever connected with our husband’s sexual energy. It can be a little scary and confusing knowing that your husband has this energy that if you take your sexual energy and connect it with his, can create something so wonderful and maddening. Sexual energy pulls things out of us, things that can be wonderful but alarming and or disarming and questionable. Knowing this energy lives in you and your partner has the control to open you up, this can and will create new vulnerabilities.


Warning, sexual energy is raw and animalistic. You will NOT be able to give it up. You must learn to tame it and control it and use it for the good of your marriage. This type of energy is powerful but fragile. Very important fact, YOU BOTH have to commit to working together to control and shape it. It is your own very personal brand of heroin. Most alarming, your sexual energy wants the hook up to happen again and again.

Communications about your sexual energy exchanges or power exchanges are essential. Downtime or aftercare snapshots are advised so that you both can take care of those vulnerabilities that you both are bringing to the surface. After all that I have experienced, if you let it run wild and become a victim to it, either of you, it can destroy parts of you and your marriage.

Love Love

I love, love. I love sexual energy and how it can heal and build a couple’s intimacy. How it can make you feel powerful when you’re working to find weakness so that your someone can take it, break you and build you again. There are many other techniques and methods that we have yet to examine and break down into achievable pieces that can be used for married, midlife & monogamous couples. There are many ways to harness, use and find pleasure in these techniques that use sexual energy. TO BE CONTINUED…….

Live submissive Video Chats

Have you experienced sexual energy? What did it feel like? What were you doing when it happened to you? Did your partner share in the experience? Do you believe in taking it further? Does the idea of it excite you? We can chat about it at our submissive LIVE VIDEO CHAT! Watch the calendar, Sexual Energy Video Chat, TBA…..

  1. charmedkarma*SA/kuma 5 months ago

    love this LK! Looking forward to the to be continued.. and learning all those ways to harness the sexual energy!!

  2. Author
    LK Founder D|s-M 5 months ago

    Lots of great stuff coming this month about sexual energy. D|s-M is a lot of sexual energy. Using D/s is harnessing it for your pleasure. There is so much more out there to explore and add to this dynamic. Thank You for commenting and Part 2 will be coming soon for Premium Members! Watch the calendar for the Live Video Chat!


  3. LB~Ace 5 months ago

    I love this! I agree that it has the power, when used properly, to heal your body, minds and spirit. I too can’t wait for Part 2.


  4. subMarie *AMB/Sir Ed 5 months ago

    lk, I am pretty sure this is my favorite all time post of yours. I love them all but I can really relate to what you wrote. What stood out for me was, “IT SAVED MY MARRIAGE!” It saved my marriage too. Over the years Sir Ed and I had periods of really good sex. But it was not like it is now! We were missing critical pieces of our foundation (honesty, communication, trust, respect, intimacy, and love.) Therefore, we often crumbled back into mediocrity. I had one foot out the door of my marriage and was so close to just giving up. Somehow, something bigger happened that led Sir Ed and I to have a hard talk that eventually led us to discovering subMrs and husDom. The past two years has been absolutely magical. You have given us tools and a community that have ignited a wonderful fire. Our marriage has been filled with a vulnerability and openness that we did not have before. Our love has grown deeper. As a result, our sex drive for each other has been very animalistic at times and as you described filled with an amazing electricity. And this has been sustained for two years. TWO YEARS! I cannot begin to thank you and Mr. Fox enough for sharing your journey, intimate thoughts, and most of all, D|s-M. I cannot wait until the next Midlife Intimacy Event so we can meet up with some of the best people we know and continue to grow. Hugs beautiful lady!

  5. Author
    LK Founder D|s-M 5 months ago

    Now you made me cry, Thank you for the kind words. Our stories are very similar as vanilla and as D|s-M couples. This magic is like nothing else I have read or experienced. I get scared sometimes that like anything else that D|s-M will get tiresome in my own dynamic, so I think it fuels me to find more things to add to our intimacy and t help others add to theirs. We have so much more to explore and I am so happy to call you and Sir Ed our friends. We can walk into the lit-up darkness together and keep finding the fire we need! Many thanks for your sub-port!



  6. I love the idea of sexual energy, but to be perfectly honest, it is a foreign concept for me. But, what is most important to me is that with everything we have learned here about communication, we have restored intimacy. Due to physical limitations and disability, we may never experience the fiery sex life that others so often describe here, but we now are able to talk about it, describe our emotions and vulnerability to each other. Ignorance and fear left both of us wounded and unable to see anything other than denial and rejection when it came to sexuality. For us, the sexual energy that we are experiencing now comes from the way we have learned to be honest and open. The connection I have with my HusDum is actually palpable to me. We went from years and years of being afraid to even mention the topic of sex, which led us to a dry, sexless marriage to where we are now, with excitement, the ability to explore and feed each other’s needs. We had nothing left…we were poured out..and now our cup runneth over. We are finding ways to express our sexual energy…mentally..and physically, and we couldn’t be happier. I know I have said it a million times, but THANK YOU for doing what you do here.

  7. Author
    LK Founder D|s-M 5 months ago

    The good thing about Sexual energy between a couple is to each their own. It is whatever you both want to experience or what you can experience. I am about to post a sexual energy exercise that will help couples develop some sexual energy in a way that you have not experienced in D|s-M, not quit the same way. You can experience sexual energy with out the complete animal crazy sex… You both will love it! You will see with the things cuming up that you can really have this energy without being the energizer bunny! Remember, Tantric…. HINT… it’s another way to develop sexual energy !!!

    Also, Angelica, I have to say thank you for your honesty and believe me you’re not the only one who feels this way or has these issues, sooo many ladies speak to me privately about these exact subjects in relation to D|s-M….



  8. Wench amb/Buck 5 months ago

    Thank you for this post- The energy is alive and the love and intimacy keep growing as a result. Even when life takes over and the amazing sex doesn’t happen the love, respect, and communication continue to grow.
    I so appreciate all you do for all of us

    <3 <3

  9. Author
    LK Founder D|s-M 5 months ago

    Thanks Wench, I really appreciate when I get feedback. I want to know if submissives are liking the topics. I want to hear their voices. Hugs!


  10. Belle*HAMB/Greyson 5 months ago

    Dear lk,

    I love this post. Sexual energy, wow! When I read this post I immediately wanted to make a date with myself to meditate and then journal about it, so that I could share my thoughts with Sir. Thank you for the intriguing topic and guidance in this most important concept of sexual energy within the D|s-M dynamic. I am definitely going to sit down with this post and read it again!!! and again!

    Warmest regards,
    Belle Soumise

  11. Author
    LK Founder D|s-M 5 months ago

    Thanks Belle for commenting. When you experience this connection of sexual energy, the couples connect the energy it is so exciting to feel it and then once you have tasted it you must have it again and again. We as subs can reach this electricity within ourselves… probably partly why we love scenes… but when your Sir can reach this electricity within himself then you both plug in together, MAGIC! KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF MAGIC… it takes time to figure out how you both get there at the same time then connect the energy…


  12. LK,
    Great topic!! Love this new feeling we are beginning to feel. It is like a fire from within. Almost the feeling, we had at the beginning of our relationship, only deeper and the intensity is more. It is a must to fan these flames, I want an bonfire not just a 🔥 flame!! I know patience!! Lol

  13. mustbe 4 months ago

    together we are electric; the sexual energy is so hot so high at times my husband can touch even my arm, speak softly but firmly , telling me what will happen if i cannot behave; i come

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