Orgasm Control | Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation, Orgasm Training, Orgasm Control,, submissive meditation, submissive challenge, submissive exercise

Are you looking for a special connection with your partner? Women, wives or subMrs are you desiring control in some of the most intimate and sexual ways? Do you suffer from a low sex drive or have problems with transition your mindset for sex?

I have been reading a lot about Tantric practices and sexual energy. I came upon the subject of Orgasmic Meditation. This practice reminded me of when Mr. Fox and I did Orgasm Training / Orgasm Control in our D|s-M, Married Dominance and submission dynamic. Orgasmic Meditation is a similar sexual technique to edging. Edging is the sexual technique of the process of maintaining a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm. Edging’s difference is that you do not orgasm for LONG periods of time. The three methods, when compared, have similar wheelhouses. I began thinking about combing and using the three practices in tandem, enabling a couple to take this experiences to an even higher level.

*Below, I use the terms Dominant and submissive throughout, you can exchange them for man/husband and woman/wife. I wrote out the orgasmic meditation practice below and added a few Dominance and submission ideas to add to the mix. In the near future look for a MidLife Intimacy Orgasmic Technique post.

First, if you are not familiar with the terms Orgasm control or Orgasm training let me define them for you now. This is where a Dominant will Train his submissive to orgasm or NOT orgasm with his commands, no matter what he does to your body or your mind. That is a whole other blog post on

OM or Orgasmic Mediation is a wellness practice where for 15 minutes a partner strokes a woman’s clitoris with no goal other than for both people to be present, feel, connect. With practice, a couple develops a larger state of consciousness and deepens their intimacy, making a stronger connection.” Sharing deep eroticism is one of the best ways to build trust in a partnership. The practice is usually described in steps. I use a 10 step method that I will cover below. (I also will be adding some Dominance and submission ideas and accessories in parenthesis.)

Steps 1-5 

Step 1, Asking or Scheduling the session or scene.

Step 2, The Nest: 

Couples set up something called a “nest”. A nest consists of a mat covered with a soft blanket, a couple of pillows for the submissive, one for her head and one for under her knees, a cushion for the Dominant to sit on and a towel for under the submissive’s bottom, that collects any moisture and serves as a clean up afterwards.

Step 3, The Position: 

Getting into position, the submissive removes her pants and lays down on her back with her bottom on the towel and her legs in a butterfly position or what I like to call the “surrender position.” Keep the submissive’s top on for now. The pussy is the only focus when doing Orgasmic Meditation (If you are doing Orgasm Training or OC, you may want your sub nude as you can add breast stimulation to the training.) The Dominant sits to the subs right side with his left leg over her stomach and his right leg goes under her legs. The Dominant can stay clothed for the OM, Orgasmic Meditation. (Then undress once the submissive is finished with her training and is rewarded for doing well.) The submissive can easily reach down to touch her Dom’s legs or foot for connection and support during the session. The Dominant has a great view of his submissive’s face and her pussy.

Step 4, Noticing & Communication: 

Noticing is when your Dominant will tell you what your pussy looks like before starting the session. He tells you the colors of the hood or skin, the shapes of the labia and any other details he feels will enrich the moment. (This is also where the Dominant can compliment the submissive in her care of her pussy.) (Always, thank your Dominant for any compliments he gives, “Thank you Sir.”)  Communication during all steps is very important. For example, the Dominant should always verbally make the sub is aware of each of the steps before he begins them, so not to startle or trigger a bad response. Just as key is the sub’s verbal responses to the Dominants statements and questions, he needs to be clear of your answers. The communication during the Orgasm Meditation or Orgasm Training comes through the submissive as breath, moans, and words. You will begin to identify the “OM Meditation Chant”. The Dominant communicates by asking her what she wants, “Do you want lighter strokes?” “Would you like me to move your leg?” Anything he sees fit to enrich the experience. (“Would you like my thumb in your ass?” You can include toys of your choice in the vagina or anus.) (Dominants & submissives may want to employ the use of Red, Yellow & Green.)

Step 5, Syncing with Grounding Pressure: 

Dominant husband

Just like in having a scene in D|s-M, it’s so important that you tune into the sub’s mind and sync with her body. Before the Dom gloves and begins touching, you’ll need to prep the sub’s body for the intimate touch. The Dom will announce to the submissive that he is about to apply the “grounding pressure.” (Communicate to your husDOM that you are ready with a verbal response, “Yes, Sir.” ) The Dominant will use his hands and employ pressure to the legs by squeezing, applying pressure to the skin, then cupping the area around the pussy, applying slow deep pressure, helping her feel grounded and relaxed.

Orgasmic Meditation

External female genitalia with the labia separated exposing the vaginal opening, or vestibule of the vagina. 1: Clitoral hood 2: Clitoris 3: Left labium minorum (synonym: labium minus) 4: Urethral opening 5: Vaginal opening 6: Perineum 7: Anus -Wiki

Steps 6-10

Step 6, Stroking: START THE TIMER!

Seeing the relaxation in his subs face, the Dominant will tell her of his intention to open her pussy up. This being a statement not a question, the Dominant or husband is looking for the “ok” to move forward with the next step. Given the ok, then the Dominant husband can begin gloving. The Dominant will need a few supplies; latex gloves, lube, a timer, set at 13 minutes. Why 13 minutes? I will explain that later.

Dominant husband

Your Dominant will apply lube to his left index finger and right thumb. Start the timer!  He needs to take his right hand, right thumb and place it at the Vaginal Introitus.  The Introitus is the opening that leads to the vaginal canal. His palm underneath the subs bottom. The Dominant’s left hand, left finger, generously lubed, takes his finger from where his right thumb is positioned, UP slowly through the subs labia. He moves through her inner folds slowly to the top where he pulls back the clitoral hood and revealing the clitorus.

The clitoris is home to 8,000 nerve endings in 4 quadrants. The upper left quadrant of the clitoris is most responsive and is believed to be responsible for the strongest orgasms.

Clitoris Orgasmic Dominant husband

The Dominant then positions his left index finger on the upper left quadrant of the small nub, he strokes the clit with very light pressure, the pressure you would put on someone’s eyelid. With the right pressure and stroking, it will begin to feel electric to the sub. Many times a buzzing sensation is felt by the submissive as well as the Dominant, the energetic connection. The Dom will have the feeling that there is an energy coming from the subs pussy reaching out to him. The Dominant will stroke using upward and downward strokes just in that area of the clitoris only. In Orgasmic Meditation, the sub is allowed to orgasm at any time. Start your stroking with ONLY downward broad strokes, slow and heavy. As the Dominant watches his subs face and listens to her breath quicken he can start using up and down strokes. The Dom wants to take the sub up to the peak, building her to climax. So, watching and listening to her “Chant”, he quickens to upward light and quick strokes. Once orgasming, the strokes become broad, slow, deep and downward, building her up once again. You are doing the exercise for a total of 15 minutes, 13 minutes of bringing the submissive up as far as she will go, then the remaining 2 minutes is that time to bring her back down.

Step 7, TWO Minute Warning:

The Alarm will sound telling you both the 13 minutes are up. The Dom is to communicate to the sub that you are bringing her back to herself again. Giving her permission to pull her energy back into herself. The Dominant slows the strokes broadening them. (Withdrawing other digits and any accessories that were used, placing them on another towel to clean later.) (Verbally, Counting down the last 30 seconds or asking her to count the last 30 seconds down with him.) The Final step is to apply the “grounding pressure” around the pussy once again, closing the energy off.

Step 8, Cleaning Up:

Cleaning the submissive is very important. The towel that is under her bottom, pull it out catching any extra fluids. Fold the towel to a clean side and wipe her front to back, careful to never contaminate the vagina with fluids that have been in contact with the anus. The Dom then helps the submissive sit up and share a hug and a few kisses, thanking one another for the session.

Step 9, Putting Away the Nest:

This step is exactly what it says, put away all of the nest. Clean up your nest before progressing to sex, as you need to keep your nest clean for your next Orgasmic Meditation session. This separation of events also protects the virtue of Orgasmic Meditation.

Step 10, Sharing a Frame:

The final step, communicating a special “snap-shot” or “time frame” of what each of you felt during your session. You can talk about the energy or the feelings of electricity felt. Some have said that they can feel or see colors during their sessions. Some feel a saturation of happiness or a release of some type. submissives can have tears, due to clearing energy that bubbles within a submissive. (Dominants always checking in on any emotion you feel you need to question.)

There are so many ways you can adjust Orgasmic Meditation into your D|s-M sessions and scenes. Mr. Fox and I are currently working on writing up a scene, step by step. A new method combining OM’ing, Orgasm Training & Orgasm Control for all of us Midlife Intimacy Couples to enjoy!

Feel, Live & Love


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  1. LK…. I am in tears reading this. It is so beautiful… so intimate. I so crave a sexual connection with my HusDom, but somehow it eludes us. Slowly, painfully slowly, the insecurities and hurts are being replaced with positive feelings that have come about with honest, no – judging talks. I am goi g to share this with Sur. Maybe this is the way to our next step. Thank you for your cari g, your dedication to all aspects of our marriages. I so long to be one of those couples that just enjoys sex naturally. Step by step… we’ll keep using your advice and working on it together.

  2. This is am amazing post! Thank you so much for all the details for us to go through. We’ll be enjoying this asap as getting me to orgasm easier and stay sexually aroused is what we’ve been and are still working on!

  3. That is one of the greatest things about D|s-M, it keeps your body on fire…. This OMing is another way to make sure you keep the fire burning between you two! I am glad you liked it…. NOW GO MEDITATE! It sounds so much better now, right…. WINK WINK! lk

  4. Oh I loved reading this post- it took me back to the Yoni exercise from retreat- the closeness that was reached and how my emotions just flowed. Buck read the post before I did- I am hoping we can do this soon. with all that has been happening here I would welcome the emotional release, but anything that brings us closer is bonus- a walk in park or something more intimate.

  5. Don’t forget this is your submissive exercise for the month of March! We have a premium couples chat about how the exercise went for you!
    March 29th 9pm Eastern! See you there! Get OMING!


  6. LK I read your post on OM to my Sir yesterday during a long car ride. With kids and a busy schedule we have to take advantage of these rare quiet times alone.😊 He loves the idea of OM but I believe he feels a little intimidated because of all the specific steps. I tried to ease his concerns by telling him I’m not expecting perfection and that I hope he will want to practice OM more than once. I’m excited to try this. Our intimate time is after we put the kids to bed so most of the time our “play time” is fast and intense. Don’t get me wrong I love it but we really need to have a way to slow down and just connect with each other and our bodies. We are going to try this this weekend and I’m hoping a second time before chat.

  7. So the first time we tried this… it didn’t work out… we were still learning for sure… BUT the second time.. SO worth it. I will save my details for couples chat but OMG!!! Can’t wait until 3, 4, 5, 10, 11, 20, 25!!!!!

  8. We did it..amazing experience. I was nervous going into it, but after a few false starts getting the positions right…we settled in and it was so beautiful. I won’t go into too many details here….I’ll wait for the chat, but…WOW…just…WOW!!

    1. Hi Heartfly! There are lots of things to try to help with dryness. Please see the forums and write in there about your experience and I am sure you will have lots of ladies respond!