Married Dominance & submission
I was a typical 43-year-old married man with two wonderful children. Like most married men I would have told you that my marriage was wonderful and that my wife and I were still very happy in our marriage. And I would have believed those very words that I spoke to you.
On May 26, 2012, my wife and I attended a local wine festival. We had not spent much time alone together since our daughter was born nearly sixteen years prior, as pathetic as that sounds it is true. The festival was like a date to us and we were having a pretty good time, especially considering my wife had not particularly liked wine prior to this event. The day was scorching hot and we found ourselves taking a break from the heat under a River Birch tree with a few glasses of wine when out of nowhere my wife looked at me and said that she was unhappy with our marriage!
My relationship with my wife had been nothing but a beautiful love story. We were high school sweethearts at the tender age of 15, married at 18 years and have been inseparable ever since. Literally up until that moment when I heard her speak those words to me, I thought our marriage was great. Today, looking back with a bit more honesty, I can see where our marriage may not have been as perfect as I thought. Especially after our children were born. Life tends to take over and you lose track of both you and your spouse’s needs. The reality, I didn’t treat my wife the same as I once had.
Before I could fully comprehend my wife’s confession she continued… She was unhappy with many aspects of our marriage:
I didn’t treat her the same as I did pre-children.
We couldn’t communicate without arguing.
She no longer felt that I respected her as a person.
Things seemed to only be alright after we had sex and that effect only lasted for the afternoon if that long.
I should have been able to remember her exact concerns much more clearly. But with the blazing summer heat, all of the wine that I had consumed, and her seemingly out of the blue revelation my mind was gridlocked, frozen in time. I do remember quite distinctly, however, when she said that she would like to try a BDSM relationship. I’m not sure that she used those words exactly but essentially that is what she communicated to me. She wanted a more open and honest relationship. A relationship where we respected, honored and adored one another again. She had recently read a popular book where the characters had a similar relationship to ours and connected deeply through an intense level of communication.
Just think of the bare vulnerable honesty that she just entrusted me with. Imagine the level of honesty that she just shared with me. She will probably always be the most courageous person that I will ever encounter in my lifetime. I could have never been so honest with her.
We have barely embarked on our journey and I have already grown as a person and as a husband in so many positive ways. Before I was a quiet person who kept my true deep feelings well guarded, even from my wife.
We decided to blog as a way of archiving our journey and sharing our experiences and development with others that may be interested in how a straight-laced all-American married couple veered off course and found themselves in their own BDSM utopia.
Follow my journey from Husband to Dom…. husDOM™